


baby, if you wanna try

by sunflowerwitches



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: (not dnps weddings tho lol), Athens, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Pining, Sharing a Bed, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-09
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:15:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 79,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25166044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunflowerwitches/pseuds/sunflowerwitches
Summary: wearing jewellery doesn't work in phil's favour when he sees friends that he hasn't seen in a while and they automatically assume he's engaged. engaged to dantitle from over yet ~ hayley williams
Relationships: Dan Howell & Phil Lester, Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 236
Kudos: 280





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> for context: idk where to place this fic. it's canon compliant in the sense that they are both youtubers and everything in the past before this fic is set, is pretty much what we know already. it's set in 2019 because they both have quiff and curly hair, it's after ii. it's definitely in the summer because it's post dnp coming out so thats where it is... but other than that nothing else is canon compliant and it'll pretty much be an alternative universe :)

Hanging out with old high school friends always made Phil feel off. It’s not that he hated them in any means, he quite liked the friends he grew up with during high school, but he’s changed a lot since then and he feels ever so out of place.

All of his friends are on their seventh or eighth beer, probably have had a few shots here and there, and he is nursing his second cocktail of the evening. He never really matched the whole drama and upheaval of pubs and bars that his friends had, but he couldn’t really say no to a quick get together before one of his closest friends’ weddings.

It’s excessively loud in here to say it is a bar and not a club. It’s even worse to say there are swarms of drunk people dancing around with their friends in the alleyways between tables, various alcoholic beverages being thrown around without a care. Likely, Phil isn’t in the direct firing line of that.

Phil always hated situations like this. He was never a clubbing person so anything closely resembling that would be almost too much for him. But like he’s told himself a million times throughout the night, it’s for his friend and he couldn’t exactly say no.

Well, he could. But that would be rude and he didn’t want to piss off his friends this soon before they all fly out for their wedding.

So he’s sitting watching his friends all dick around and joke about instead of actually getting involved. Sometimes, he does, if the conversation involves him in any way – memories from high school that are brought up at the expense of another friend that Phil was there for and whatnot. Other than that, he sits rather silent, awkwardly laughing every now and again and fidgeting with his fingers under the table.

It’s an anxiety coping mechanism he accidentally learnt during university and found it far too difficult to get out of, having a ring on his finger that he slides up and down absentmindedly. Unfortunately for him, these friends weren’t around when he developed the coping mechanism, so they just looked at him with confusion and pity written all across his face whenever they notice.

He’s in the middle of playing with his ringer, moving it from finger to finger and staring off into the distance (probably at the nearest exit but who can blame him?) when he hears a sharp gasp coming from one of his friends.

“Phil, since when did you have a ring on it?” One of the louder boys, Michael, almost speaks loudly, bringing Phil back into planet Earth.

His head snaps up in confusion, not really paying attention to anything going on. He frowns slightly about to open his mouth to ask Michael to repeat himself but someone else speaks for him instead.

“It’s that Dan isn’t it?” Matthew smiles at him, but he doesn’t know whether he should smile back right away.

“Uh-“ Phil mumbles, he really has no idea what’s going on. Hoping that being unaware and feigning drunkness will be enough

“Congrats, lad,” Joshua, the groom to be, slaps him on the back in an award. But it feels like nothing short of an awarding situation to be in. Phil feels odd about it. Why does he need congratulating about anything to do with Dan, it doesn’t make sense.

“I’ll take it he’s coming next week?”

“Yeah, he must be coming to the wedding?”

Too many questions come in at once and it almost overwhelms Phil. He’s never had this many eyes on him at once apart from in an audience based situation. He certainly doesn’t like it when it’s more or less one on one with friends. He’s never been one for having the attention all on himself.

“Why would Dan come to the wedding?” Phil frowns, looking at all of them in the eyes for the first time, all he finds is genuine smiles. He has no idea what’s going on and why it suddenly involves Dan but it doesn’t add up why Dan would come to any wedding with Phil?

“We want to meet your man!”

What? Why is Dan my man, Phil thinks to himself.

“Of course, don’t be silly. Your fiancé can come to the wedding as your plus one,” Joshua replies.

“That’s really not necessary,” Phil manages to stumble out.

“Nonsense! He’s coming. I’ll message Billie and ask her to put her on the guest list!”

“Oh, uh, thank you?”

“Don’t mention it,” Joshua slaps Phil on the back of his shoulder in acceptance. “Tell us about Dan. We’ve barely seen the lad.”

All of his friends finally sit down in the booth they’ve had all night. Phil hates that the focus is all on him for once, because it’s Joshua’s gathering before his wedding and the focus should _not_ be all on Phil. It’s not his stag do so he guesses that the focus isn’t clear but Phil wants it to go off of him and be on absolutely anyone else.

“Well uh, what do you want to know?” Phil says, mumbling a little but he’s sure they will excuse that on the beer that he hasn’t drunk but they think he has.

“How long have you been dating, first off?” Joshua smiles, dragging Phil’s drink towards him for a sip and cringing at the taste. On other nights, Phil would find this hilarious, no one has ever had as much as a sweet tooth as he has, but tonight it doesn’t even produce a chuckle.

“About nine years?” Phil lies through his teeth.

“Wait, so this whole time?” Matthew gasps, taking the drink off of Joshua and taking a sip himself. He doesn’t react as dramatically as Joshua does though, maybe he’s pretending though.

“Yep,” Phil gulps. He knows this is going to be quite the lie to get out of before the week is over.

~*~

Phil wakes up instantly remembering his mistake from the night before. He thinks about unlocking his phone, opening the wedding group chat and saying he lied about the whole thing. But he can’t do that.

They won’t necessarily believe him.

Why would they?

He spent the entire evening answering intricate questions about his love life, with Dan of all people, why would they believe him if he announced suddenly it was all a lie? He said the night before that they kept it a secret solely because Dan wasn’t ready to tell the whole world about his sexuality (which was kind of true at least for different reasons) so if he contacted them to say he was lying, they’d just assume Dan found out they spoke about it and still wasn’t ready for people to know.

It’s quite the situation Phil has found himself in and any other time, he’d find it hilarious. But not this.

He shrugs his duvet off of his body and quickly shoves on a pyjama shirt and loose shorts, for some reason he laid them out for himself before he went out but didn’t touch them when he got home. He can't even blame it on the alcohol, he just wanted the day to end.

He walks down the hallway and staggers his footing when he reaches Dan’s bedroom door. Suddenly, remembering the events of the night before and having the intense ache to talk about it immediately. He knocks on Dan’s bedroom door without thinking too much and when he hears a small groan from the other side of the door, he accepts that as a _come in_.

Opening the door and planning to speak to Dan is one thing, but once Phil lays eyes upon Dan, that’s another story. All the courage and strength to speak about it

Dan looks at him expectantly, as much as someone can do with their eyes half open.

“Breakfast?” Phil stutters out, already regretting this whole situation he’s found himself in. Not just the fake engagement, but standing in Dan’s room. They never do this. Sure, they’ve been in each other's rooms before, countless times in fact, but never to ask for breakfast.

They run like clockwork together, automatically knowing what the other person wants without asking the question. If Phil wakes up first, he usually makes himself breakfast and purposely making far too much for Dan to help himself once he’s up. Dan doesn’t take too long to get up and they end up watching the new episode of whatever anime they are watching in the lounge. It’s vice versa if Dan wakes up first and that’s how it’s always been.

“Sure? What’s this in aid of?” Dan smiles asking politely, and for some reason, Phil knows he isn’t just talking about the breakfast.

“Can’t I treat my best friend?”

“Suspicious but okay,” Dan laughs, pushing his duvet back to reveal his sleeping body and jumping out of bed to meet Phil by the door.

Phil doesn’t say anything but offer a smile and turn around to head towards the kitchen. He hears footsteps behind him which doesn’t necessarily quell his nerves in any way. He still needs to talk about this to Dan, and he has less than twenty four hours to do so.

~*~

“Jesus Christ Phil, did you need to make such an extra breakfast?” Dan chuckles as Phil puts a plate down in front of him. Honestly, Phil didn’t need to put this much effort into breakfast, he never usually does.

On Dan’s plate is a traditional full English breakfast with vegan sausages and bacon, some scrambled egg, mushrooms and baked beans. He also put some toast on the side for them to share. The most Phil usually cooks for breakfast is jam on toast and that’s a _treat_. Anything more than cornflakes with sweetened almond milk is a treat for them.

“I didn’t know we actually had any of this in,” Dan continues, not really as a question more as a statement.

Phil shrugs as he sits down opposite Dan on the dining table. They decided to eat at the table this morning instead of on the sofa in the lounge, which doesn’t really help Phil’s anxiety around the thing he needs to talk about. The seriousness and formality of the sitting at the table rather than the comfort of the lounge is rather nerve-wracking.

“I’m very suspicious of you but I’m not going to question a proper breakfast,” Dan screws his eyes up to look at Phil for a second and Phil feels the anxiety in the pit of his stomach but it quickly goes away when Dan smiles and begins tucking into the food on his plate.

“We just had things to use up!”

~*~

They spend the rest of the day in their respective rooms. Dan’s filming a main channel video because he thought he was long overdue and Phil’s looking over plans that they have for the gaming channel. They stopped uploading on there for a while whilst Dan figures out what he wants to do with his YouTube career, but the potential options all seem inviting.

Phil can’t really concentrate though, and he doesn’t get much done and the evening eventually pans around to them in the lounge on either side of the sofa watching some random day time television that Dan puts on. Dan’s favourite thing is to watch old episodes of Four in a Bed or Come Dine with Me and laugh about how cringe everything is.

Today is one of those days.

However, today is one of those days where Phil isn’t exactly paying attention and Dan points it out several times throughout the evening when he makes a joke and Phil doesn’t laugh like he usually does.

“She’s definitely not going to win if her trifle looks like that,” Dan laughs, not taking his eyes away from the screen for a second. “Who even prepares a trifle for a competition around cooking when you and I could make a trifle with our eyes closed?”

Phil hums a small laugh in response, the ones where someone doesn’t even open their mouth and only produce a small exhale. Dan knows it is bullshit and that’s why Phil isn’t exactly shocked or surprised to feel a hand come into contact with his bicep and punch him, of course only playfully.

“Phil, what’s wrong?” Dan says softly, and Phil feels the pang of guilt in his chest because Dan is being so lovely, and he doesn’t deserve that. Dan doesn’t even know what’s up and he sounds like he’s about to risk it all for Phil, but he shouldn’t be doing that. He should be shouting.

“Nothing.”

It’s not nothing and both of them know that but Phil can’t manage to get the words out of his throat no matter how much he tries.

“Alright,” Dan deadpans, the type of deadpan that is equal parts soft and not pressuring but also annoyed. Phil doesn’t think he can blame him, and he wouldn’t blame him in a few minutes when Phil eventually slaps him with the truth. “You don’t have to tell me but something is clearly bothering you and I’m here for you, you know that right?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“Well then?” Dan offers another way for Phil to talk about it, almost inviting the conversation on a silver platter for him. Phil doesn’t accept it though.

“I can't,” Phil mumbles, choosing to tear his eyes away from Dan and play with the loose strand off the hem of the blanket he has draped over him and Dan.

“Okay, well you know where I am. Right here.”

Dan reaches over and places his hand on top of Phil’s for a moment before squeezing and pulling away. The pang in his chest is now a stab.

~*~

A few minutes pass, one episode of Come Dine with Me is over and done with and the other episode starts playing. Phil knows it has to be now because they are supposed to leave for Greece tomorrow to be involved in the wedding preparations, the stag do and all.

Dan hasn’t even packed, he doesn’t even have knowledge that twenty-four hours from now he will be in Greece. Or at least should be.  
Phil can’t help when he opens his mouth to speak, “Dan.”

He feels the blanket draped over them move at the change in position Dan has taken up. Phil looks up from his hands and gains eye contact with Dan. He sees softness and an invitation that he’s ready to talk. That’s all Phil needs.

“Philly.”

“Please don’t call me that when I need to tell you something,” Phil whines, well not really a whine because he’s too nervous to have any other emotion in his voice other than anxiety but any other situation, it would have been a low whine.

“Wait, what’s wrong? Is everything okay?” Dan stills then, hand involuntarily leans forward into Phil’s and Phil accepts it. He knows he shouldn’t but feeling Dan’s fingers intertwine with his brings him comfort and he wants to take it and run away with it.

“Nothing, nothing. It’s jus-“

“Phil,” Dan offers again softly, his thumb stroking over the back of his hand. Phil almost feels more guilt than before, because Dan must think someone in his family is dead or something disastrous, but _no_ instead he’s accidentally become engaged to Phil for an entire week.

“When I was out last night, one thing led to another and I uh-“

“Spit it out,” Dan teases, rolling his eyes as he does so but his hand still doesn’t leave Phil’s. “You didn’t get a girl pregnant did you?”

“Wha- Dan?! First of all, I’m gay,” Phil splutters out and he’s surprised that Dan can understand what he just said but god knows, Phil didn’t. He heard the word gay and that was enough.

“Just checking,” Dan laughs. “What happened?”

“One thing led to another and they assumed we were dating and I’m far too awkward to correct them so now you’re invited to the wedding,” Phil says all too quickly. He’s not sure whether Dan heard him that time but by the look on his face, he definitely did.

“What?” Dan stills for a moment. Phil feels it when Dan’s thumb stops stroking his hand absentmindedly. He misses the touch but at least they are still in contact in some way, blanket and the connected hands.

“Da-“

“So let me get this straight, they think we’re dating?” Dan says all too slowly. Phil hates it but he guesses he deserves to be treated like an idiot. Dan just wants to make sure he heard correctly.

“Well, engaged actually.”

“Phil!” Dan screeches out, slapping Phil lightly on the shoulder and pushing him backwards. It has more passion around it than before but not enough to actually hurt. This is when the hand completely falls out of Phil’s grip, assumedly the hand moved to be the one pushing Phil’s shoulder.

“Dan, please. You know how awkward I am in social situations, I didn’t know what to do!”

“You could have just said, I don’t know, _no_?”

“They all just started talking and asked questions and it was all too much and I panicked!”

“So you answered them?” Dan raises his eyebrow in Phil’s direction and all Phil sees is disappointment, even if it is in the corner of his vision.

“Yeah,” Phil closes his eyes, cringing at himself. Why can’t he be normal and just answer questions honestly?!

“Well, what did you say?” Dan shuffles in his seat, clearly awkward about the whole situation.

“What? You’re not mad?” Phil darts his eyes up to meet Dan’s for the first time in a while and he doesn’t see annoyance or anger, he doesn’t see anything of the sort. Instead, he sees interest and questions. Phil is willing to answer if it can fix this situation.

“Phil, I’m mad. But I want to know what you said.”

“What’s the point?” Phil mumbles, playing with the loose thread again, but not moving his eyes away from Dan.

“Well, if it’s not out of the blue, I’ll think about it?” Dan shrugs. Phil’s heart almost stops because how can Dan be serious? He will seriously pretend to be engaged to Phil for the sake of his fuck up.

“You’ll think about being engaged to me?”

“It’s not like it’s going to be legit is it?” Dan tilts his head and deadpans and Phil hates that it’s directed at him. He only ever sees Dan deadpan when he’s frustrated.

“I guess you’re right,” Phil mumbles.

“So, what did you say?”

“I told them we were dating for almost nine years,” Phil eventually says.

“So the entire time we’ve been friends? Bloody hell Phil.”

“Listen! I didn’t know wha-“ Phil whines again but this time it’s actually a proper whine. Dan cuts him off though, and Phil knows it’s because he hates when Phil is even remotely upset. It’s a safety mechanism they both had from some of the very first times they met up in person.

“I guess it makes much more sense than us dating a few years in, us dating from the get-go isn’t too out of the blue,” Dan says innocently as Phil frowns.

“You proposed to me a few weeks ago an-“

“Wait wait wait,” Dan chuckles. “I proposed to you?”

“Yeah?”

“Wow, I never thought,” Dan says thoughtfully, almost like he’s imagining the situation in his head. Phil decides against doing that himself for the sake of his own mental health.

“You’re capable,” Phil laughs.

“Fan fiction writers are going to have a field day if this ever gets out,” Dan huffs a laugh out, falling back onto the sofa.

“Jesus, you’re right I didn’t think I’m so sor-“

“Phil, chill out. They won’t find out.”

“Hmm,” Phil hums, because he isn’t all too sure.

“Anyway continue, what about my proposal made you say yes?” Dan teases, reaching forward to grab Phil’s hand and falling back against the sofa again. Phil doesn’t realise how much he needed that touch again until he gets it, releasing the breath he didn’t even know he is holding.

“It wasn’t anything special, it was just in our house and we had been speaking about it every now and again and you popped the question.”

“Okay, okay. That makes sense. Nice and simple to remember.”

“Yeah,” Phil sighs as he scratches the back of his head in frustration. He knows he has no place to be frustrated because he created this mess but he is a little annoyed that he put them both here.

There’s a few moments of silence for them both.

“Guess I’m going to have to go pack then,” Dan sighs, finally pushing himself up off of the sofa and heading towards the doorway of the lounge.

“So you’ll do it?” Phil says, trying to ignore the hopefulness in his tone. He doesn’t know why that’s there.

“Of course,” Dan says softly, smiling a little. “But you owe me.”

“Anything, honestly.”

“Good,” Dan chuckles, seemingly hanging onto the door frame for dear life but Phil doesn’t make fun of it. He definitely needs to be on Dan’s good side for the next few weeks. “I’ll go pack?”

“Yeah, I’ll leave you to it.”

“You should go back too, Philly? I’m not letting my man pack last minute like he does on every holiday,” Dan teases, bopping his tongue out from between his lips as he does so.

Phil only returns it before Dan leaves the lounge completely, leaving Phil alone to think this through. He’s truly going to pretend to date Dan for the entirety of his friend’s wedding, better yet engaged.

He stares at the television smiling to himself for god knows how long, maybe ten minutes maximum, before standing up himself and heading to his room to pack.


	2. Chapter 2

Packing the night before the flight instead of the day of the flight isn’t the worst thing that Phil has ever done. However, it does allow him to think more about the situation he’s landed himself in.

Dan’s right. He could have easily have said no to the questions when everyone assumed he was engaged. It isn’t the most difficult thing he could have done.

But he is here now, pretending to be engaged to Dan for a holiday and/or wedding in Greece. He doesn’t know how it’s going to work out and he thinks he is definitely insane for even attempting it, but he’s grateful that Dan is even willing to make this work. Phil wouldn’t have blamed him if Dan outright refused and said he was an idiot that needs to ring up his friends immediately and correct them.

Perhaps Dan would have been like that if this was happening a few years ago, when Dan was less comfortable and confident in his sexuality. Maybe if that was the case Dan would have freaked out about anyone else knowing anything like that of Dan, but luckily for both of them, Dan is owning his gayness.

Phil still doesn’t have any clue how it’s going to work though.

At least they have the fact they want to keep their relationship private and away from the eyes of the audience on their side, they won’t have to be too coupley in public situations. Only in private, and even then they can use the excuse that they are so incredibly used to not touching each other romantically in public that they don’t really feel the desire to.

It’s not like they are going to have to make out in front of Phil’s friends to prove anything. They are supportive of Phil and whatever he wants to do with his life but he isn’t quite sure they would demand to see some Phil and Dan action live.

Phil is grateful for listening to Dan and packing the night before because that means a lie in. Not a complete lie in mind, because they still had an early afternoon flight but he’s counting his blessings that he didn’t have to wake up at 4am again like they did for Australia last year. Instead, he wakes up just after 10am with enough time to shower and get changed.

By the time he’s up and showered for the day, Dan’s already ready and Phil finds him staring out the balcony window with a cup of coffee in his hand.

“Morning.”

“Good morning,” Dan says, and Phil can tell immediately that he sounds off. He sounded startled that anyone was in the room with him which doesn’t add up because Phil knows as much as the rest of his friends and family that he has elephant feet and can be heard coming from a while off.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Dan mutters, taking a sip off his coffee. “I’m alright.”

“That’s good.”

Phil sits down on the sofa and is about to turn the television on to get rid of the awkward silence when Dan spins around on his heels and offers a quick smile towards Phil’s general direction. Phil feels like it looks like Dan hasn’t slept all night but he doesn’t question it.

He doesn’t even have the chance because Dan’s dancing his feet to the doorway of the lounge before he has a chance.

“Are you finished packing?” Dan asks as he stops his feet in the small part of the lounge that connects to the hallway. He looks like he had to use all his energy to stop himself from not talking to Phil.

“I did it last night,” Phil smiles. He’s trying to be gentle even though he can feel the anxiety looming in the air.

He doesn’t know why Dan would agree if it makes him this anxious. Like Dan has said time and time again, he is a grown man and will say no if he genuinely doesn’t want to do something. So, Phil mentally shrugs, thinking Dan has consented to being in a fake relationship with him so it must just be pre-flight jitters rather than regretting the situation Phil has put them both in.

“Good.”

“You?”

“Yeah I just have a little bit more to do, I’ll go do that now actually.”

Phil watches as Dan’s feet carry him outside of the lounge, just stopping by the doorway like he always does to turn and look back at Phil.

“Meet you in the hallway in thirty minutes?”

“Sure,” Phil says as he spoons a quick mouthful of cereal into his mouth, nodding as he does so just in case Dan didn’t hear him.

~*~

Getting from their apartment to Gatwick airport doesn’t prove too much of a difficult. Dan suggested getting an Uber because Phil apparently had the _stupid idea_ to get the mixture of tube and train there which Dan turned his nose up at. It wouldn’t cost that much between the two and it would be a lot quicker and a lot less hassle because they wouldn’t have to worry about catching the connections in time for their flight.

Dan piles the suitcases and handhold luggage into the boot of the taxi alongside the taxi driver as he insists that Phil should just sit in the back of the car and wait for them. Phil isn’t quite sure why Dan is insistent on doing all the work, but there’s only a total of four bags between them so he doesn’t put up much of a fight.

The thirty-minute long Uber journey is relevantly silent in between short chuckles and the explanation of them finding a funny meme here and there. It’s nothing out of the ordinary so it doesn’t spike up Phil’s anxiety that there is something off between them both. However, Dan does sit closer to him more than he usually would – not too much because they are properly in their car seats with their seat belts on, but he does lean a lot closer into the middle of the car.

Phil swears that he feels the gentle brush of Dan’s arm against his every so often until it plateaus and it stays there, resting against Phil.

They manage to get on their flight sometime after 1pm. Phil is always a little nervous for flights so Dan tries to distract him by being overly excited that they have an entire row to themselves rather than awkwardly having someone sitting next to them.

“If I wasn’t coming, you would have had this whole row to yourself,” Dan mentions as he pushes both of their holding luggage under their seats, easy enough to grab whenever they need something. Phil is already sitting down in his window seat, that he requested because flight anxiety is somewhat solved when he can see what’s going on.

Dan always makes jokes about how Phil’s brain works so much more different than other people. Because usually, people would be far too anxious to even look out the window, but Phil’s anxiety calms down because of it.

“Maybe that would have been better,” Phil teases, even though it’s the last thing he wants to do right now. He just wants to make Dan sit down, curl up against him like a comfort blanket and ignore the impending doom of a flight with turbulence.

“Phil,” Dan says softly, _finally_ sitting down in his seat next to Dan. “Are you really that nervous?”

“I’m not nervous,” Phil lies through his teeth and he knows instantly that Dan does not buy it because his smile widens after Phil finishes speaking.

“You don’t need to lie to me Phil,” Dan whispers, reaching his hand out and intertwining their fingers. Phil knows he’s only doing this because it’s comforting, and because no one else is around to see them and scream _phan_ in their face, but Phil is going to take as much joy as he can from Dan holding his hand.

He knows he shouldn’t but he can’t help himself from feeling a small flutter in his tummy from that.

“Okay, maybe I’m a little nervous,” Phil bites his lips, not looking at Dan but instead looking at their conjoined hands. It’s hard to not stare at them when he doesn’t get to look at their hands together all that often. It really highlights just how tiny Phil’s hands are in comparison to Dan’s monster hands.

“And it’s okay to be,” Dan responds, stroking his thumb against the back of Phil’s hand just like he did just under twenty-four hours ago. “I’m here.”

Phil knows. Dan doesn’t need to tell him.

“It just feels so stupid because I’ve been on so many flights, with you and I always feel the same level of anxiety. I don’t know why I haven’t got over it yet,” Phil sighs.

“Maybe the factor that gets you through them all is because I’m there,” Dan smirks, leaning back on his seat to get comfortable. He doesn’t remove his hand from Phil’s though and for that Phil’s grateful.

“Shut up,” Phil laughs, not because it’s funny but because he knows just how true it is.

The pilot makes his short but necessary speech and Phil doesn’t miss how Dan’s hand tightens around his own, squeezing a little to remind him that he is there. If it was anyone else, Phil would think that it’s because the other person is nervous, but Phil knows Dan is doing it for him more so than for himself.

_We are third in priority for take-off, we should depart in about five minutes. Please keep your seatbelts on until we’re flying. Thank you._

_Flight attendants, prepare for take off, please. Cabin crew, please take your seats for take off._

Phil almost laughs out of nervousness when he feels them begin to lift off. It’s an odd feeling that someone can only describe if they’ve ever caught a flight themselves, the air almost knocking out of their lungs just like it does when someone misses the last step of a staircase.

He looks over to Dan who is looking at him with a frown, almost confused.

“What?”

“Why are you laughing?” Dan frown deepens for a second, but Phil notices a small delicate smile spreading across his face as he asks the question. Almost like he can’t not smile when he’s looking at Phil, but no. Phil can’t think like that.

“I don’t know.”

“Idiot,” Dan rolls his eyes, tightening his grip around Phil’s hand for a second before loosening it again.

_Ladies and gentlemen, the Captain has turned off the Seat Belt sign, and now you are free to move around the cabin. However, we always recommend keeping your seat belt fastened while you’re seated._

_Cabin crew will be around momentarily to offer you drinks or snacks at your request, subject to availability, and they will give you instructions on how to work the back of the head television screens which have access to the latest movies. Thank you._

Dan doesn’t let go of Phil’s hand straight away and Phil tries not to think too much about it. It’s clearly because they are getting used to contact with one another for the wedding. That’s definitely it.

Phil turns his head to look out the window, at a loss of what else to do. The clouds pass by quicker than Phil can really pay attention to them. It feels like they are moving at lightning speed but he knows they aren’t, just a speed quick enough to not appreciate the clouds as much as he should do. He still doesn’t move his gaze from the endless horizon that he can see from the little window he’s been given.

Sighing in relieve as he eventually diverts his gaze, knowing they’ve only got just short of four hours on the flight doesn’t pang his anxiety any more than it usually would so that’s good.

He glances over to his right where Dan is sitting and notices that Dan is looking right back at him. He isn’t sure when Dan started staring at him but he isn’t going to ask. He feels far too seen at this moment and he knows if he brings it up Dan will feel exactly the same.

Dan doesn’t turn away though and offers Phil a shy smile as he lets go of Phil’s hand.

“Hi guys, can I get you anything?”

“Uh, yeah. I’ll have a coffee with almond milk and Phil will have a-“ Dan says confidently to the flight attendant as he turns around to look at Phil questioningly to follow up Dan’s request.

“I’ll have the same.”

The flight assistant nods agreeing to their order and walks down the aisle to speak to the next group of people. Dan turns around to Phil with raised eyebrows and laughs.

“Since when do you drink coffee with almond milk?”

“I wanted a change!” Phil excuses.

“Why?”

“I don’t know you seem to like it so I thought why not!”

~*~

A couple of hours into the flight Phil is able to wake up from a slumber that he didn’t mean to have. He doesn’t remember the flight attendant coming to serve them their drinks but when he lifts his hand up sleepily to check, it’s empty. He doesn’t understand why but he finds himself smiling.

“I drank it.”

Phil darts his head up so he can turn a lot easier to look at Dan.

“Oh?”

“Well you fell asleep so who else would have drunk it, you melon?”

“I don’t know what I thought,” Phil shrugs, leaning back into his seat and turning his head to look at Dan whos typing away on his laptop. “How long are we until we arrive?”

“About an hour I’d say?”

“Nice,” Phil yawns, doing one of those obscenely excessive yawns that invades Dan’s personal space. He bats Phil’s arms away with a chuckle and turns his head to look at Phil properly since he’s woke up. “What have you been doing?”

“Just some editing.”

“How boring.”

“Well It needs to be done,” Dan mutters as he clicks a few buttons and closes his laptop shut. Phil watches as he shuffles in his seat to get comfortable before leaning his head on Phil’s shoulder.

Now, Phil doesn't want to be as anxious as he is when this happens. He tries not to be. Dan and Phil have long since ignored their physical boundaries enough to cuddle up on the sofa every now and again to care about things like this. They hold hands all the time when the other needs comforting, but Phil still tenses up.

“Your head is on my shoulder,” Phil points out, like it isn’t obvious. He doesn’t know why he says it, because anyone would be able to look at them and realise that Dan’s head is on Phil’s shoulder. Dan is obviously aware, he’s the one who put it there.

“Well, we are technically dating so I should be able to do this without you feeling awkward,”

“Good point,” Phil breathes out. Why is Dan so unbothered about this?

“So, let’s talk, Philly.”

“Don’t call me Philly,” Phil groans, even though he knows he is quite fond of the pet name that Dan has called him over the years. “Talk about what?”

“You know, the situation we’re in.”

“Oh, what do you want to know?”

“It’s fucking insane, Phil. I want to know quite a bit before I get into it,” Dan explains, moving his hands as if they help him explain. He wobbles on Phil’s shoulder and anyone else, it would annoy him, but not Dan. “Who’s going to be there that I know?”

“Uh, my family are going to be there.”

“Jesus Christ, Phil. Could’ve warned a guy.”

“I’m sorry! I thought you would have assumed,” Phil panics and stammers out.

“You thought I would have assumed that your entire family would be at your friend's wedding?”

“Yes,” Phil cringes at how bad that sounds. He should have clarified.

“Well I know now,” Dan sighs, moving his head to look at Phil for a second and then turning his head back to stare in front of them at the movie paused screen. Dan clearly paused the movie that Phil had been watching before he nodded off. “Living arrangements?”

“Okay, you will be sleeping in my room and my bed because obviously, I couldn’t get us two singles or two separate rooms.”

“That’s fair,” Dan yawns against his words. “Is there any wedding events I _have_ to go to?”

“Probably most of them to keep up appearances, but you aren’t invited to the stag do in a few nights though.”

“Charming!”

“You know what I mean,” Phil laughs, moving his whole body as he does so. Dan doesn’t budge though.

“Guess I have a night to myself with my soon to be husbands family,” Dan laughs back at him.

“They aren’t really your family, Dan.”

“Oh, I know,” Phil doesn’t miss the way Dan’s voice drops there. Even if he did for some reason miss it, Dan’s whole demeanour changes when he hears Phil’s voice. That’s enough to make the stab in Phil’s stomach come back at full force.

“Obviously they are your family, Dan. But just in a different way,” Phil says softly, wrapping his right arm around Dan’s back to give him some kind of awkward side hug, the type that guys do when they have a bound of toxic masculinity to stop them from properly showing their friends affection. That isn’t what is happening here though because Dan nor Phil have never had an issue with that, just the angle making it difficult.

“I get it, you sap,” Dan groans but leans into the awkward side cuddle all the same.

Phil doesn’t pull away when the conversation dies down. They both just sit there in each others company and levels of affection. Phil will admit it’s nice in his head but has difficulty admitting anything else, ignoring how that stab in Phil’s stomach doesn’t go away even when he reassures Dan that he is family regardless of this lie.

Phil sighs and allows his eyes to wander across the profile of Dan’s face, the parts that he can see at this angle. He knows he has a shy smile appearing on his face because Dan looks so peaceful and Phil wants nothing more than that for him.

He can’t help but feel fondness spearing through his heart at the sight. He didn’t want to admit it but his fears of old feelings and thoughts that he tried so hard to desperately push to the back of his mind coming to the forefront again are huge. He doesn’t want to ruin what he tried so hard over the years to save after 2009 Phil felt ways that Phil wasn’t ready for, and ways he definitely knew Dan wasn’t ready for.

He pushed them back to the tiniest corner of his mind even though it pained him. He lost a part of him that day when he realised, he couldn’t have Dan as anything more than a friend. Of course, he knew he was incredibly lucky to even know Dan. Anyone who knows Dan is the luckiest person in the world and Phil had the fortune of being best friends with such an incredible person. But, he always knew a small amount of those feelings lingered.

Of course, they did. Phil knows as much as the next person, having watched one too many romantic movies with sad endings as a way to carve the guilt for feeling the way he did back then, that feelings like those never really go away. Not completely.

That stab in his stomach is definitely going to get stronger as this week goes on, Phil could bet all of his money on it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiii im back with another chapter:D  
> i'm sorry they aren't doing the proper fake relationship trope yet but i wanted to have some just dnp alone moments before they jump into being with family/friends and having to pretend, i hope thats okay. i don't think anyone is opposed to some cute wholesome dnp just vibing moments
> 
> follow me on twitter [@sunflowrwitches](www.twitter.com/sunflowrwitches)


	3. Chapter 3

Dan spends the rest of the flight to Greece asleep and Phil spends the rest of the flight interchanging between looking at Dan and the clouds outside. Nothing really changes, other than the flight attendant coming to collect their coffee mugs and asking if they’d want a refill.

Phil says no for the pair of them, because Phil didn’t even drink his first and he knows Dan gets grouchy after having a couple of coffees a day so he doesn’t need anymore. She leaves with a smile and a bow, which Phil doesn’t think is strictly necessary and makes him cringe, and then Phil is left alone with Dan again.

_Ladies and gentlemen, as we start our descent, please make sure your tray tables are in their full upright position. Make sure your seat belts are securely fastened and all carry on luggage is stowed underneath your seat or in the overhead bins. Thank you._

It doesn’t wake up Dan and Phil finds it somewhat hilarious that the plane is descending and Dan is gone to the world. Phil doesn’t even have a second to feel anxious about flying when this is happening.

Dan is just sleeping cosily on his shoulder when the plane alters to land and there’s still not a peep out of Dan.

Phil realises Dan didn’t put his seat belt back on so he shyly and quietly fixes that for him, being sure not to move too much to awaken Dan. When he hears the definite click of the seat belt, he puts his arm back around Dan where it seemingly belongs.

A few minutes pass of quiet breathing and snores, and the speaker alerts them again.

_Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Athens International Airport. Local time is just after four in the evening and the temperature is 27 degrees Celsius._

_For your safety and comfort, please remain seated with your seat belt fastened until the Captain turns off the seat belt sign._

_Please check around your seat for any personal belongings you may have brought on board with you and please be careful when opening the overhead bins, as articles may have shifted during flight._

_On behalf of the entire crew here, I’d like to thank you for joining us on this trip and we are looking forward to seeing you board again with us. Have a nice stay!_

Phil giggles as he removes his arm from around Dan’s back and begins prodding him gently to wake up. It takes a while for Dan to stir, Phil knowing all too well that Dan is a deep sleeper, but he wakes up with a crinkle of the forehead and a flutter of the eyelids. Phil can’t help but smile at the sight.

“Hello sleepyhead, we’ve arrived,” Phil says softly, trying not to cringe at the gentleness he is giving Dan. It’s not what they usually do.

“I slept the whole time?” Dan grumbles, yawning and stretching in his seat, the same way Phil did that invades everyone’s personal space in order to annoy them.

Phil hums in agreeance, shuffling in his seat to grab his handheld luggage and then Dan’s. He doesn’t put it on Dan’s lap though, because that’s simply rude and Dan hasn’t long woken up.

The alert that they have landed safely, and everyone is allowed to leave the plane is sounded and Dan chuckles, unbuckling his seat belt and stretching one more time before standing up. He stretches again, and because he’s standing up this time his shirt rises exposing a slither of his stomach and Phil diverts his eyes quickly enough to not stare. Although, he does think the split second of sight will be engrained into his brain for later use.

“Come on Philly, let’s date.”

Phil tries not to splutter at the joke, which he knows is definitely a _joke_ and stands up, carrying both of their bags as they leave the plane.

~*~

Getting through the airport doesn’t take all too long even though Dan does panic a little about his suitcase being the last thing to come through the conveyer belt. Phil tries to tell him that sometimes that happens, especially because they were the first people to check-in their luggage and board their flight.

But then Dan argues that Phil already has his suitcase and that doesn’t make sense because they should be together. Phil agrees so stays silent on that, but he tries to distract Dan in other ways.

His suitcase eventually does come and they hop into a taxi to get to the hotel fairly quickly. There’s not much traffic for the middle of the evening and they make it to the hotel just after five in the evening.

Dan jumps out of the taxi and helps take out their small amount of luggage with the taxi driver, again insisting that Phil doesn’t help out. Phil isn’t quite sure why Dan is doing all the work but he doesn’t question it and awkwardly stands on the kerbside of the car for Dan to be done.

Dan hands him his suitcase and Phil watches as Dan tries to handle his own suitcase and both Dan and Phil carry on luggage. He looks like a pack mule and Phil almost wants to take a picture of it to mock him, but his phone is the luggage Dan is carrying so he gives it a miss.

“Why are you carrying my bag?” Phil says instead of taking a photo of him. He means to say thank you but he knows Dan knows it’s implied.

“Keeping up appearances,” Dan laughs, shoving the final strap over his shoulder and wrapping his hand over the handlebar of the suitcase.

“You really don’t need to.”

Dan doesn’t listen to him, however, and continues to secure the two rucksacks on his back. He reaches his hand out without Phil noticing and intertwines their fingers together, squeezing before he steps forward towards the hotel.

“What are you doing?” Phil pulls his hand back away from Dan’s body almost as quickly as it’s put there. He knows it’s stupid, because they have held hands once or twice over the last few days but that was in private.

Holding hands in public is a different story.

Phil would laugh about it because of course, he’s the one who accidentally made everyone think him and Dan are engaged and he’s the one scared of touching Dan, but it’s not that. He would happily hold Dan’s hand if it was necessary, because the fears that they have back home are still apparent here.

“Just in case anyone sees?” Dan says, shrugging his shoulders as he finishes speaking. He reaches his hand out in offering again for Phil and Phil takes it again, sighing about how stupid he is.

“And what if someone who knows us sees?”

“That’s the point isn’t it?” Phil can see Dan frowning from the way the back of his head contorts behind him. His ears rise slightly up his head and his jaw tenses. Maybe Phil knows Dan too much.

“You know what I mean.”

“Audience?”

Phil hums, grabbing onto Dan’s hand away. If anyone does happen to see, they can shrug it off like always, Phil is sure of it. He doesn’t even know why he’s stressing.

“Phil, it’s very unlikely that someone who knows us like _that_ is here in the middle of spring when school is still on. We’re safe.”

“I guess you’re right,” Phil says, allowing himself to be lead into the hotel lobby by Dan’s hand pulling.

The hotel lobby is something out of a movie, Phil is quick to notice. A glistening chandelier in the middle of the ceiling with what Phil can only describe as fairy lights (even though he knows they are definitely way posher than fairy lights) cascading off of the chandelier and lighting up the entire room.

It’s a room with high ceilings and old aesthetics are patterned all over the walls. It could either have jumped straight out of Ancient Greece or a middle-class Victorian families home, there’s no in between.

Phil steps forward in front of the reception desk, luckily they’ve come at a time where no one else is queueing because it’s the time where most people sit down and eat at restaurants so they can be seen straight away by the blonde woman with a forced smile.

She clearly doesn’t want to be working this late on a Friday evening when she could be out with friends but she tries to smile as if she’s enjoying her work all the same.

“Hi gentlemen, how can I help you?” She continues the same smile as she greets them both. Phil watches as Dan smiles back at her with a much more genuine smile, dimples and all.

“Hi, we should have a room booked for two?” Phil leans in onto the counter to speak to her more clearly. He expects eyes to dart between the two of them in disgust, something he hasn’t yet come to terms with since embracing his sexuality, not everyone is homophobic.

“Yeah sure, what name is it under?” She replies, looking at him with a warmer smile than before. Maybe not as genuine as the one Dan gives her, but he can count that as a small win.

“Well, uh, it’s for the Moore wedding that’s happening here? It could be under Moore?” Phil frowns in confusion. He knows he didn’t book this hotel room for them, because he is one of the best men it was automatically booked for him. It could be under Moore or Lester, who knows?

“Oh right yeah,” the lady says as she taps away on the keyboard, presumedly typing in Moore to get some results. “Yeah, just as I thought actually. They are all under Moore but there are specific surnames too, so what’s yours and I’ll sign you in?”

“Lester,” Dan offers to her far quicker than Phil can open his mouth. Something tingles in Phil at the sight of Dan calling himself a Lester but he isn’t going to debunk that right now.

“Okay great, let me go and get your keys and then the room is all yours!”

“Thank you,” they both say in sync and they turn to each other offering a small giggle.

She walks away with a sway of her hips and Phil turns around to lean against the counter and take in the room some more. It’s got a lot busier since they started speaking to the receptionist and the lobby is bubbling with people moving left to right, into new rooms and so on. It reminds Phil of when they were in a hotel lobby in New York last year or the London Euston tube station, both equally full of people who have places to be.

He moves his eyesight to one of the doors that seemingly heads off into the bar and restaurant areas, if the huge signpost above the door is enough to go by. It’s when his eyes adjust that he notices that he recognises someone hanging in the doorway. They don’t notice him yet, as they are far too busy speaking to the security guard on the door, but Phil has noticed them straight away.

“That’s the groom,” Phil points out by nodding his head to the east of the lobby, the door going off into the bar that they will be in later, Phil assumes.

“Then put your arm around me, idiot,” Dan laughs, leaning his arms against the lobby counter as he waits and twisting his head to look at Phil properly.

And so Phil does. He can literally feel himself shaking as he snakes his hand around Dan’s middle and he’s sure Dan can feel it too. Dan doesn’t comment on it though, and for that Phil is grateful.

He knows he’s being stupid. They touch all the time and Phil was cuddling him in the plane seats less than two hours ago, but different intimate touches mean different things to Phil.

“This okay?”

“Phil I asked,” Dan replies softly, but rolls his eyes all the same.

“Okay,” Phil breathes out. He looks up to place where Joshua is when suddenly he’s not in the doorway of barroom anymore, he’s walking up to them with a huge smile on his face.

“Alright mate,” Joshua says, but actually screams, pulling Phil into a man hug. Phil’s hand leaves Dan’s waist as a result and Phil almost misses it.

“Hiya, we just arrived.”

“Oh yeah? How was your flight?” Joshua asks, running his hand through his air. There is product in it but the Mediterranean heat clearly isn’t doing him any favours.

“Good, good,” Phil offers and when he looks at Joshua, he notices Joshua is eyeing up Dan and then moving his eyes back to Phil expectantly. Obviously, Phil is an idiot who forgets his manners. “This is Dan!”

“Hi, Dan. Heard a lot about you!” Joshua smiles, reaching his hand out to offer a handshake which Dan accepts easily.

“All good things I hope?” Dan chuckles, bringing his hand from Joshua’s grip and snaking it around Phil’s waist this time. Phil tenses for a split second before relaxing again, but it’s quick enough for no one to notice and question why Phil tenses when his fiancé of multiple years touches him. The last thing he wants is a claim against them, because obviously, no one would guess they are lying. No one is stupid enough to lie about engagements and dating.

“Of course! I take it you guys are going to go into your room and unpack right?”

“Yeah, I think so. We’re pretty tired.”

“I was going to offer you to come downstairs into the bar with everyone. Phil, your brother and his girlfriend are already with us but your parents are out sightseeing because drinking this early isn’t their scene apparently,” Joshua chuckles fondly and of course, he does, he’s known Phil’s parents since he was in nappies. They are basically Joshua’s parents just as much as his own are.

“We’ll let you know!” Dan replies for them both, stroking his finger along the exposed sliver of skin of Phil’s waist. The friction between Dan’s hand and Phil’s body must have moved his t-shirt a small amount to exposed some of his pale skin.

“Well, the offer is open!”

“Thank you,” Phil smiles genuinely.

“I’ll leave you to it then. I need to go and get Billie her sandals because she left them in her room apparently,” Joshua rolls his eyes playfully before offering a small wave and walking off.

Phil releases the breath he didn’t even know he was holding throughout the entirety of that conversation and turns his body to look at Dan properly.

Dan’s lips are forming a straight line and Phil fears for a moment that this is too much. That Dan already regrets doing this but before Phil can so much as say anything in an apology, Dan explodes in laughter and removes his palm from Phil’s side.

“That was hilarious,” Dan cackles, throwing his head back to expose his long expanse of neck. His skin glimmering already at the humidity of the country.

“Shut up!”

“ _We’re tired_?! It’s a four-hour flight, Phil.”

“Shut up,” Phil pushes him again for good measure and turns his body to the reception desk just in time for the lady to return with two sets of keys for them.

~*~

“I mean it’s not _that_ bad.”

“Is it not?”

“It’s a queen-size bed Phil, we won’t have to touch it each other.”

“Well good, I don’t want to be touching you.”

“Please,” Dan huffs as he throws his handheld luggage onto one of the chairs in the lounge part of their room. “I know you’re not opposed to a snuggle or two. I won’t be surprised if I wake up to you cuddling me in your sleep.”

“I’m not going to be snuggling you!”

“Please don’t bring a third party into this relationship Phil, I can barely handle you.”

“Shut up,” Phil yelps, heading over to the huge window wall they have access to in their room. It shows the beautiful scenery of Athens, which Dan has always declared that they will have to come back to when they don’t have a wedding and a fake relationship to uphold.  
Phil swears he can just about make out the acropolis on the top of the hill in the far distance and it makes a mental reminder to make that a visiting destination this holiday.

He doesn’t know when Dan walked forward, but he feels his presence next to him almost immediately. They don’t say anything, just taking a moment to watch the outside world together. It’s oddly intimate and Phil doesn’t know when to react when he turns his head and is met with Dan turning his.

They still don’t say anything, just allowing their eyes to wander each other’s faces for a minute. Phil is almost sure he imagines Dan’s eyes dipping to his lips, but it’s a blink and you’ll miss it moment so Phil mentally shrugs and passes it off as just that.

“I’m going to go take a shower actually, get the grimy plane smell off of me,” Phil whispers, shuffling backwards to break the eye contact and making his way to the bathroom. He knows this is the type of fancy hotel that gives you a million towels, so he’s lucky he forgot to pack his own back home.

“Okay but hurry, I wanted to do that!”

Phil hums, loud enough for Dan to hear before shutting the door behind him, leaving him completely alone for the first time since they arrived. It hasn’t even been that long but it’s mentally exhaustive for Phil.

Being alone means that Phil’s brain kind of opens up a little bit more about the situation he’s found himself in. He’s in Greece, which is great. Phil always wants to explore Greece a little bit more but never found the opportunity to with touring and whatnot. He’s with Dan, which is never usually a bad thing. Phil absolutely adores Dan platonically and loves hanging out with him.

He’s in Greece with Dan on a wedding holiday where they have to pretend to be engaged because Phil is a dumbass who cannot correct his friends when they think something. That’s when his brain begins to spiral a little bit more, the full facts enough to keep his heart thumping against his chest. He sighs, pulling himself up off the door, deciding not to lock the door because it’s only Dan and he _knows_ Phil is in here.

He steps forward into the shower, making sure to hide from the spray so he doesn’t get wet when he turns the head on, allowing it to warm up whilst he gets undressed.

Leaning up against the sink, which of course is a couples sink, he allows himself to properly take in the bathroom for what it is.

In front of him is the bathtub, which he assumes he isn’t going to be getting much use of whilst here. It’s not like they are a normal couple who may share a bath. In fact, they aren’t a couple at all. But the bathtub does surprisingly look big enough for both of them to fit in which is enough to surprise Phil. Surrounding the bathtub is a patterned off white marble that takes up most of the feature wall, and some of the surrounding walls.

To the left of the bathtub, is the huge walk-in shower that Phil is planning to use. A huge panelled glass wall and two shower heads, again for couples. The shower has access to a large frosted glass window with dark wood panelling so it lets in plenty of natural lighting.  
It’s a beautiful bathroom by all accounts and Phil can't wait to lose himself to the shower for a few moments.

He quickly undresses, making sure to carefully fold his clothes on top of the closed toilet seat, living in the same habits that he grew to follow when he was living with Dan in the first Manchester apartment. They had a kind of shitty shower that would flood the floor of their bathroom after a short ten minute long shower, so they learnt to put their clothes on the toilet if they didn’t want them to have the entire contents of the shower in them waterwise. This habit followed them both no matter where they were.

He opens the door to the shower and allows the spray to soak him for a few moments, running his fingers through his hair to get it wet enough to wash properly. He bends down, helping himself to the complimentary shampoo and massages it through his hair and over his scalp, making sure to really rub it in enough for a deep clean – they had spent hours on a flight and that usually makes his hair yucky, it even had given up enough to completely dissolve the gel in his hair keeping it intact leaving it a drooping mess by the time they made it to the hotel.

Eventually, he rinses the shampoo out of his hair, accidentally getting it into his eyes and mentally cursing himself for not being able to complete the simplest of tasks without injuring himself.

Phil moves on to body wash, lathering himself up and watching it wash away down the drain before turning the showerhead off and stepping out of the shower.

Wrapping a towel around his waist and draping one around his shoulders, he opens the door to the bedroom and makes eye contact with Dan immediately.

“Did you take all the towels?” Dan smiles and rolls his eyes, no anger in sight.

“No!” Phil whines, unwrapping the towel around his shoulders and throwing it at Dan lying on the bed. All he receives is a chuckle in response before Dan stands up and heads to the bathroom himself.

Phil notices the layout of clothes on the bed and before he so much as can turn around and raise an eyebrow at Dan questioningly, Dan talks.

“I thought we should match. You know?”

“Oh right,” Phil swallows, not really looking in Dan’s direction more so holding eye contact with the chair sitting right in front of him.

“So I thought I’d go through your suitcase and pick things out that match with what I want to wear,” Dan smiles, hanging off the doorframe again like Phil remembers he did less than twenty four hours ago at home. “I also took everything else out and hung it up in the wardrobe so it doesn’t get creased."

Phil couldn’t help but blush at that, always a sucker for small tasks being done for him like that. It’s thoughtful, even though it is minuscule.

Dan finally walks into the bathroom, accepting the small nod of appreciation from Phil, and Phil is finally allowed to fully take in the clothes Dan picked for them to wear to go downstairs tonight.

He should have known they would have been stripes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiii!!! hope you're all having a lovely week :D i hung out with some of my friends this weekend (socially distanced ofc) and i feel so much more like myself :) it feels good to be able to do things again even if it isn't quite the same as before this whole pandemic 
> 
> follow me on twitter [@sunflowrwitches](www.twitter.com/sunflowrwitches)


	4. Chapter 4

Dan said they apparently needed to match and so they are. Phil isn’t sure how matching outfits qualifies as proper relationship customs, but he doesn’t hesitate and throws on the clothes Dan picked out for him.

Dan is obviously planning to wear his staple oversized white striped tee and some plain black shorts. Phil lets out a little chuckle as he briefly scans over Dan’s outfit before moving onto his own. It’s not really anything out of the ordinary because he notices his usual go-to black denim shorts but when his eyes scan upwards to the shirt, he notices something different.

It’s not his shirt.

Phil frowns, because maybe Dan just made an error, thought that maybe Phil wanted to pick out his own shirt or couldn’t decide between two of his own so left them both on the bed. Phil isn’t sure. But the shirt is striped, so it makes sense.

Phil decides to spend as much time as possible stalling getting changed. He knows it’s odd because it’s just a shirt, Dan and Phil have worn each other’s clothes before and it’s not a big deal, but he doesn’t know how to act. The last thing he wants to do is put it on and be greeted by a Dan complaining that Phil got the shirt he wanted to wear creased by wearing it.

So he distracts himself, a towel wrapped safely around his middle, and sits down on the bed to scroll through social media – Dan kindly must have put their phones on charge because Phil finds his on the bedside table rather than in his travel luggage.

A few minutes pass, and he decides he can’t stall getting changed any longer (and because it’s starting to get ironically cold even though they are in the Mediterranean) and stands up, pulling a fresh pair of boxers out of his suitcase before sliding them on. He loses the towel at some point to the ground, knowing he needs to pick it up before Dan comes back otherwise, he’ll whine about how wet towels mean wet floors like at home.

He knows he’s going to forget anyway, grabbing the denim shorts and pulling them on, making sure the fly is done up properly this time, not wanting another mistake where he walks around all day (even though it’s the early evening) with his boxers on show.

Hearing the water in the bathroom stop running, he mentally curses himself for not hurrying up because he’s had the amount of time to get changed that Dan has had in the shower and he simply isn’t _changed_.

“This is your shirt,” Phil nods towards the shirt laid out on the bed when he hears the bathroom door unlock, Dan shuffling out with a waft of steam and condensation in tow.

“So?” Dan says sharply, like he’s being burnt but Phil has no idea what’s done the burning. He turns around to look at Dan and Dan’s eyes are completely ignoring Phil’s presence. Dan knows he’s there but won’t even look at him.

“Nothing, it’s just-“

“We wear each other’s clothes all the time, Phil, and besides I guess a lot of couples do too?”

“You’re right,” Phil shrugs, pulling the shirt on and cringing at the fact his hair is still wet. He spins on his heel, feeling the awkwardness looming in the air for some odd reason, and goes back into the bathroom to use the hairdryer.

He leaves the door connecting to the bedroom door open, because he isn’t doing anything that requires privacy and prays that Dan doesn’t move into the reflection of the mirror in front of him whilst getting changed.

Standing around in the bedroom doing this and that meant that his hair wasn’t all that wet by the time he gets his hands on the dryer, so ten minutes maximum and he’s finished.

Dan’s fully dressed by the time he comes out, standing by their suitcase messing with something and Phil is about to walk over when Dan interrupts him.

“You left the towel on the floor.”

“Sorry,” Phil giggles sensing a small improvement in Dan’s mood, because the way he mentioned it wasn’t harsh or aggressive, it was just a general statement with no emotion other than calmness attached to it.

Phil bends down to pick it up and throws it over the radiator in the corner of the room, before turning around to look back at Dan. He’s lying down on what Phil can only assume, after the odd few times they’ve shared a bed over the years, is his side of the bed scrolling through his frown with a light frown across his forehead.

“Hey,” Phil says softly, coming to sit down on what would be his side of the bed for the holiday. Once he’s sitting, he spreads his legs out over the bed to mirror Dan, who hasn’t looked up from his phone yet. “You good?”

Dan hums and Phil can tell he isn’t really paying attention, more interesting on what is on his phone.

“Hey,” Phil repeats himself, this time knocking his foot against Dan’s shin to get his attention. He lingers for a moment, unable to decide whether he likes the tingle that shudders down his spine at the innocent but gentle connection between the two, before pulling away to rest naturally.

This time Dan looks up from his phone, locking it in his hand before placing it in the small slither of bed space between them, “Hm?”

“I said, you good?” Phil raises his eyebrows in question. He doesn’t really understand why Dan is acting weirdly but he decides instantly that he wants to do anything to fix it.

“Oh yeah, fine. Just peachy.”

“Doesn’t sound believable with that grumbling tone,” Phil chuckles, attempting to be funny and not mean in the way he speaks, knowing Dan is seemingly already in a bad mood and he doesn’t want to add to it.

Dan just rolls his eyes in protest and doesn’t address it, “What time are we going downstairs?”

“Whenever you want?”

“Can we maybe, stay up here for a bit?”

“Yeah sure, any reason?”

Dan hesitates for a moment, sucking his bottom lip into his mouth with his teeth in thought before letting it go and looking at the headboard beside Phil’s face. Phil doesn’t point it out that he hasn’t looked directly in his eyes yet since they’ve arrived in the hotel room. He wants to know what’s up with his best friend but he doesn’t want to push, not today. Not really ever if he can help it, he values Dan deeply.

“No reason, I guess they may think we’re fucking or something?”

“Dan!” Phil splutters, feeling the blush rising up against his cheeks at the thought of what his friends may _think_ he and Dan are getting up to when they are alone. He guesses, that’s what some couples do, sometimes couples do have sex so it shouldn’t be a shock or a surprise but something stirs in Phil at the mere thought of them both being involved in that activity.

“What? People fuck, Phil!”

“Not us though!”

“But they think we do,” Dan chuckles, meeting Phil’s eyes for a second. It’s not long but it’s enough for Phil to calm his nerves a little bit.

Sometimes it’s moments like these. Moments where they are just sitting alone in their own companies and having fun, nothing really important happening to pinpoint it as a special moment to keep memories of. It is moments like these that Phil really realises how much he cherishes Dan, because he’s never had this with anyone else and he doesn’t want to imagine a world where he does either.

“I guess you’re right.”

“Always am,” Dan sighs, putting on a performance like he always does before slouching down a bit more so he’s properly lying on the bed, head on the pillow. Phil doesn’t know what comes over him but the sudden desire to match this position comes raging through him and he lies down too, turning slightly to look at Dan, head in his palm with his elbow propping him up.

He gets to see Dan’s features a lot clearer at this angle. He can see how his forehead contorts and adjusts to the lighting change. How his eyes squint a little at the sun that’s radiating through the open window a little bit behind Phil. How his lips quirk up for a fleeting second when the bed moves and Phil isn’t moving away from him, and how that dimple on the left side of Dan’s face makes an appearance like it isn’t always going to be the most beautiful thing in any room.

Phil doesn’t feel embarrassed to think like that anymore. He used to, when they first met and Phil was overwhelmed with adoration and love for someone who he was sure didn’t feel anything back. He beat himself up about it but now, things are different. He knows that he can find Dan beautiful and love the aesthetics of his face without it being weird or creepy.

“Why do you want to stay up here?” Phil says quietly, shaking his thoughts for a moment for he delves too deep down a memory lane that he isn’t sure he wants to visit tonight.

Dan grabs his bottom lip between his teeth again before speaking, and all Phil can think about is pulling that lip free so it can breathe.

“I just want a moment being normal before we have to head down there,” Dan replies equally as quiet. Phil isn’t sure whether it’s because he wants to meet Phil’s tone or whether he fears what he is saying. It’s probably six of one and half a dozen of the other.

“We can be normal down there too?”

Phil doesn’t understand. He doesn’t understand why they’d have to be any different downstairs than they are alone together. Sure, they may have to hold hands a few times but they do that alone sometimes too, so it shouldn’t be too different.

“It’s different,” Dan sighs, turning to meet Phil in the same position, head in palm and his elbow propping him up.

“How?”

“Just is,” Dan snaps, but not in a harsh way. It’s more in a way that insinuates that he wants this conversation to end.

“I don’t think it is,” Phil pushes. He knows he is, and he shouldn’t really, knowing if he oversteps Dan will be in a bad mood all evening rightfully and Phil will feel guilty until he is out of it. But it’s too tempting.

“Of course, you don’t,” Dan sighs again, before squeezing his eyes shut. Phil can’t look away from the way his skin wrinkles at the corner of his eye, showing years of laughter that Dan has had. Years of happiness too.

Dan opens his eyes again before swinging his legs around the side of the bed and climbing out of bed. He turns around to offer a hand to Phil, which he takes gratefully, and pulls his up to stand alongside him.

Phil kind of cringes, because he knows that’s definitely ruined the bed that maids have taken several minutes perfecting but stands next to Dan all the same, way too close that two grown men should find uncomfortable but of course, they don’t.

“Reckon we should go downstairs then?” Dan offers, a smile spreading across his face that Phil isn’t too sure about the reliability of. Dan doesn’t let go of his hand though whilst Phil uses the other to grab his room key and phone, so sue him if he doesn’t question it.

~*~

They don’t let go of each other’s hands whilst they make it to the barroom; walking down the hallway to the lift, in the lift and walking down the small, but extravagant stairway to get back into the lobby. Phil isn’t sure whether this is to keep up appearances just in case they bump into someone or because they both need a little bit of comfort before they spend the evening with Phil’s friends and family.

At this point, he doesn’t want to ask because he knows which one his brain prefers.

Walking across the large expanse of the hotel lobby, they make it probably five feet from the barroom before they hear someone shouting _Phil_ and it’s no surprise to that when Phil spins on his heel to look, that it’s his own mother.

He feels almost guilty that he forgot she was here.

“Son!” She says excitedly as she makes her way over to him and wraps her arms around his shoulder. Phil meets her with one of his arms, because the other hand is still gripping firmly onto Dan’s own hand.

He can feel Dan awkwardly fidgeting behind him and it makes him feel awful for a second, because he made this awkward situation exist.

“Hi, mum.”

Phil pulls away from from the hug and still stays within close proximity with her. Phil’s father jumps in and offers Phil a small shoulder pat in lieu of a hug, never really been a big hugger even though the Lester household are slowly wearing him down day by day, year by year.

“And who’s this?” She smiles, turning her head to Dan for the first time in this interaction. Phil doesn’t miss the way she smiles ear to ear instead of one of those fake smiles she’s sometimes offered his friends. Never Dan though, Phil has always been able to tell that his mum has loved Dan like her own child.

“Mum you know who this is,” Phil says rolling his eyes but tugging Dan closer to them

“But not like this, son,” his father pipes up, smiling at the pair of them, eyes not really sticking on one. Phil’s grateful for that because he knows if the roles were reversed and Dan’s parents were staring him down like they were doing, he’d be feeling anxious too.

“Well, uh-“ Phil panics, he knows it’s obvious. He’s never had to lie to his parents before, other than the subtle lying from the closet before he told them, but that isn’t really lying. Lying to his parents about being engaged, soon to be married, is different. He feels like a deer struck by headlights.

Phil doesn’t hear anything, too nervous to, but he notices when Dan steps closer to him, almost far too close for friends. It’s oddly intimate and Phil wants to bat him away for being so close to him in front of his parents but he knows he can’t. This is what couples, apparently Dan and Phil now, do.

Dan’s leaning closer suddenly and pressing his lips to Phil’s cheek sweetly. He’s stepping away far too quickly, a blink and you’ll miss it approach, and Phil swears he would have thought he imagined it if it wasn’t for the lingering feeling of Dan on his cheek. The cool air from the doorway blowing past his cheek and exposing the damp patch that Dan’s lips had left.

That, and the obvious fluttery feeling in his chest. He can’t be imagining that.

“Sorry, this is new for us so Phil’s a bit awkward,” Dan offers, with a chuckle but Phil is still staring at him. Dan just _kissed_ him, they just kissed albeit on the cheek but that doesn’t shake away the intimacy. How is Dan just _not_ reacting to that? There’s no blush on his cheeks and he isn’t stuttering his words, which Phil is sure he would be doing.

“Ah, I get it, but Phil you’re going to marry this man. You need to get used to us knowing,” Phil’s mum laughs, leaning over to run her hair through his hair like he’s a child. She doesn’t do a good job of it though, due to all of the product in his hair making it impenetrable but Phil feels the comfort nonetheless.

“You know what Phil’s like,” Dan says still smiling, squeezing his hand around Phil’s to bring him back to life. It works for the most part.

“Yeah, sorry. This is Dan, my fiancé,” Phil says. He is sure that he is still visibly nervous but hopefully, that just plays off being nervous because he’s speaking about a relationship he’s hidden for several years and pretended they were simply just the best of friends instead. He thinks anyone would be a little bit nervous.

“Oh son, why didn’t you tell us? We could have kept it a secret,” Phil’s mum exclaims, sighing at the end. He can tell she isn’t really mad at him, not sighing out of frustration, more so sighing because she’s at a loss for works. He doesn’t blame her, finding out that Dan is their son’s boyfriend for as long as they’ve known Dan.

“We kept it a secret for me really,” Dan speaks up, taking his hand from Phil’s death grip and snaking his hand around Phil’s waist instead. Phil feels tingles of the light brushes of Dan’s fingertips on his back. “I wasn’t out to my family until very recently as you all know so I didn’t want to be loud and proud in one area of my life and closeted in the other.”

Phil smiles at his parents when they both nod and seem to understand. He’s happy that he has parents who are quite liberal in the sense that they are understanding with things like this. They may both be straight and not directly be affected by issues gay people face, but they are aware of them and know they exist which is a step in the right direction.

Not long afterwards, they both bring Dan into a hug. Phil’s fathers being more of a side man hug and they make their way into the barroom finally, everyone feel the sense of weirdness at just having a family catch up in the hotel lobby in front of everyone. No one has really been listening, but the conversation would be so much better sitting down, as Phil’s father says.

The barroom isn’t much different from the hotel lobby in the aesthetic sense, but it really does adopt a more Greek approach to it. White panelling with light blue designs swirling here and there to stand out against the white. There’s a lot of greenery around the place, small plants dotted around on each table top and the bar, from as far as Phil can see any way with it being over the other side of the room, having foliage and garland leaves dancing around the white woodwork.

There’s a small hint of the upper-class Victorian home that the lobby has too but it’s quietened down in contrast that someone may not even notice it if they weren’t looking for it.

They find a fairly big table in the one corner, enough for them all to sit down with the option for Martyn and Cornelia to join them later. They are somewhere here, probably partying with the main group of them over the other side of the room.

Phil doesn’t mind not being there though. He’s never been a huge party person so sitting in the quieter area with his parents and Dan seems like the better alternative.

They sit on the same side of the table like always, and their legs rest against each other. Phil knows he shouldn’t find that comforting, but he pushes that thought to the back of his brain and allows himself to feel grounded by the innocent touch. They are friends, Phil is allowed to find being around Dan comforting.

Phil’s parents sit opposite them and after a few minutes of idle chit chat, his dad stands up to head to the bar to find his other spawn and his girlfriend, along with getting a round for everyone, leaving Phil with just his mother and Dan.

She smiles, feeling awkward, probably at a loss of what to say. What can she say? Will she overstep if she asks about their relationship? She isn’t sure, and Phil isn’t surprised.

“What are your plans for tomorrow?” She asks innocently,

“We’re not sure yet,” Dan replies, knocking his knee against Phil’s as he speaks. He watches as Dan’s hand reaches out on the table to play with the knick-knacks that the hotel has put on the table to make it match their whole aesthetic. “We may stay in our room and have a wind down?”

“It’s always nice having couple time on holidays, isn’t it? It’s really refreshing,” Kath smiles, looking back at her husband at the bar ordering drinks. Phil smiles involuntarily, he’s always loved seeing how much his parents are in love with each other even years down the line. “Going out for a walk today with Nigel almost made me fall in love with him all over again.”

“I know what you mean,” Dan smiles, turning to look at Phil for a split second before facing Kath again. “I feel very lucky.”

“I bet you do, he’s a good man,” Kath says looking over to Phil, who just blushes and tilts his head down out of embarrassment, never one for compliments.

That’s when Phil feels Dan’s hand land on his thigh and give a gentle squeeze. Phil looks up and sees a shy smile placing across Dan’s lips and Phil can’t help but smile back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiiii everyone!!! basically im an idiot who sorted this out at midday yesterday and only realised just know i didnt hit post so thats why its a lil late :D technically its still thursday for some of yall though so it counts 
> 
> follow me on twitter [@sunflowrwitches](www.twitter.com/sunflowrwitches)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the delay lmfao my laptop decided not to turn on yday :(

Cornelia and Martyn soon come to join them at their table, alongside Phil’s father with a round of drinks for them all.

Phil grabs the two drinks for them both; a single whiskey in Pepsi Max cherry for Dan and a fruity cocktail for Phil – their usual go to drinks. He gently nods in Dan’s general direction in lieu of no problem when Dan’s hand, which is still resting on Phil’s thigh even though there isn’t any reason for it to continue being there, squeezes in lieu of thank you.

He takes a sip of his drink listening to the conversation that Cornelia is having with his mother and hums gently in response to pretend like he is involved. Because truth be told, he isn’t really listening. He knows he should be because knowing his luck, he is going to be asked a question by either of them and he isn’t going to know what they said let alone what to respond but his mind is in other places.

His mind is thinking about the hand on his thigh, which is _still_ there even though it definitely has no reason to be anymore. Sure, they have to keep up appearances in front of Phil’s family so they don’t question their relationship status and how Phil accidentally made up the whole thing but no one can see Dan’s hand here. Dan’s hand is low enough, almost at Phil’s knee, so he’s almost positive no one can see the hand placed there.

Phil desperately tries to shake the thought that Dan’s hand is there because he simply wants it to be rather than because it needs to be, because that’s stupid. Why would Dan put his hand there for any other reason other than to keep this story going? He wouldn’t willingly touch Phil like this. Dan must just assume that people can see, or at the very least they can see Dan’s arm stretched out under the table in Phil’s direction and that would be enough. It doesn’t matter where his hand actually is, because they would automatically assume it’s on his upper thigh.

He takes another sip of his cocktail, ignoring the burn of what he can only assume is vodka spilling down his throat as he tunes in to the conversation finally.

“So yeah, I think we’re planning to go there tomorrow if the weather is all good,” Cornelia exclaims, smile wide across her slightly tanned face. Phil knows they’ve been here for a few days so she’s been here enough to catch the sun and she looks even more beautiful than she has done before, if that’s even possible. The tan skin allows her red hair to pop.

“We’re in Greece the weather is always nice,” His mum laughs along with her.

“You’re right!”

“If it’s all okay, Nigel and I may tag along with you. It’ll be fun.”

“Of course!” Cornelia smiles and Phil couldn’t help but smile too. He always finds his close friends and family happiness enough to make him happy too. “And Phil?”

Phil hums in question because he doesn’t actually know what they are talking about. He only joined the conversation a few seconds ago so how could he?

“Do you want to explore the Acropolis with us tomorrow?”

Phil looks back at Dan next to him for a second, hoping that he is joining in the conversation with them but when he looks at Dan it’s clear he isn’t. Instead, he is engaged in a conversation full of giggles and laughter with Phil’s father and Martyn.

He smiles at the sight of Dan blending in with his family before turning his head to look at Cornelia again, “I’ll have to get back to you.”

“Oh that’s fine, I know how important it is to have alone time as a couple!”

“Right,” Phil replies, grabbing his drink to sip his cocktail at a loss of what else to do. He thinks lying to his family about his relationship is going to be much harder than he thought because he can't even reply to a comment about them being a couple without feeling awkward.

~*~

At some point, Cornelia and Martyn leave them again to join the louder and more rowdy area of the barroom. Phil doesn’t think he can blame them, they have always been far more party animals than Phil, and even Dan, has been.

Phil would much rather sit in the corner with a drink and Dan and that was his idea of a good time.

And that’s what he is doing. It’s a while after eleven in the evening so his parents have even departed and left for bed, his mum placing a kiss on both of the boy's foreheads before officially leaving. She does make Phil promise to spend some time with them on this holiday because according to her, she needs to get to know her future son in law even though she’s known him for the entire time they’ve been friends.

“So how was I?”

“What do you mean?” Phil looks up from his drink to spare a glance to Dan sitting next to him. Dan has his one hand wrapped around his own drink on the table and his other hand resting calmly on his thigh that’s jiggling up and down, assumedly with nerves. But Phil doesn’t know what he would ever be nervous for.

“Like you know,” Dan supplies, moving his hand that’s resting on his thigh to gesticulate his response. This is definitely something he’s picked up over the years of being a content creator, because Phil has seen the inability to talk without moving his hands grow more and more over the years. “Acting with your family.”

“You don’t even need to act, you’re really good at being with my family.”

“That’s good.”

“You don’t need to worry. They believe that you’re my boyfriend,” Phil offers, reaching forward to take hold of Dan’s hand for comfort before squeezing and letting go.

“Fiancé,” Dan corrects him, and Phil is sure Dan notices him visibly flinch at the correction. He doesn’t correct it though, for that Phil is grateful because he doesn’t think he can explain why Dan calling himself Phil’s fiancé makes him react the way he does.

“That too.”

There’s a beat of silence, Phil taking a sip of his drink with a loss of what else to do and Dan’s hand goes from being wrapped around his own drink to under his thigh, almost like he is stopping himself from doing anything with his hand – the sort of thing a teenager does during their classes to stop them from fidgeting.

Phil finishes his drink and Dan must sense that because he suddenly turns his head around to face Phil, and Phil can’t do anything but put his glass down and turn to him in confusion. Lip bitten between two sets of teeth occasionally opening and then closing with no words coming out, Phil starts to get a little bit nervous. The frown lines on Dan’s forehead doesn’t help.

“Shouldn’t that worry you?” Dan finally says softly, releasing his lip for a few seconds in order to speak but placing his teeth around it once again as soon as he’s finished speaking.

“What?” Phil frowns at this, spinning around to face Dan more.

“That it’s so easy to pretend,” Dan is speaking is barely a whisper now, so soft that Phil is sure he wouldn’t be able to hear it if he wasn’t paying exact attention to Dan. The bitten lip doesn’t lessen, only being removed enough for Dan to allow words to escape his throat.

“Wel-“

Phil doesn’t get to finish his sentence because the chair opposite him is being pulled away from him with a scrape across the wooden floor and the air that occupied the seat is now replaced with a body. He recognises it as the bride almost instantly and watches as Joshua, the groom sits next beside her and in front of Dan.

“Hiya, fancy seeing you here, Phil,” Billie says with a genuine smile on her face. Phil has always loved Billie, she’s maybe the best person that any of his friends have tied the knot with and for that he is grateful that he has spent a lot of time with her.

She has long blonde hair down to her hips with ashy brown highlights at the root, and tonight it’s dressed in beach waves which Phil can’t help but think is positively stunning.

“It’s almost like you invited me,” Phil laughs, reaching his hand out to grab Billie’s hand to shake it. They always had this joke with formalities a few years ago, when Joshua met Billie, and it just continued throughout the years and now they hardly ever hug, just shake hands. Once Phil has finished shaking Joshua’s hand too, he turns his hand to Dan, “This is Dan.”

“We already met a few hours ago but hi mate,” Joshua laughs, reaching a hand out to offer Dan. Dan accepts it with no hesitation which only makes Phil smile.

“Hi, love. I’m so excited to get to know you!”

“Likewise,” Dan directs towards Billie, letting go of Joshua’s hand before sitting back. He sits much closer to Phil than he had before the bride and groom arrived and Phil tries not to overthink it. There’s no reason to overthink it, clearly, he’s only sitting close to keep up the fake story of their relationship.

“So, I know this is our wedding party week but tell us how you got engaged! We’ve been kept in the dark for far too long!”

“Uh, I don’t think that’s necessary, it’s your day an-“

“Nonsense! Tell us, the bride asked you can’t upset her this close to the wedding ceremony,” Joshua intervenes, a smile on his face and all.

Phil lets out an awkward chuckle, because he can’t really deny them the story now. Panic brewing through his entire being he turns to look at Dan again, who is, funnily enough, showing the same reaction.

“Well, Phil do you want to take this one?” Dan says, tilting his head as if to hide his discomfort from the other people at the table. Phil knows he’s only trying to shrug the story off to Phil because Dan doesn’t know what to say. Phil doesn’t either.

“No you can, babe,” Phil replies, awkwardly smiling at Dan for a second before turning to Billie and Joshua in a blind panic. Babe is new. Phil has never called Dan babe before. He turns his head back around to apologise to Dan when he catches him blushing.

“Awww, you don’t need to feel scared about pet names around us. We won’t overshare to anyone,” Billie puts her hand on dans thigh as a comfort, thinking it’s because of the pet name. And technically it is, Phil thinks to himself, it’s probably because Phil has never called Dan babe in their entire time knowing each other.

“Well, you know how we’ve been together for the best part of nine years?” Dan mutters, almost at a whisper and in any other situation, Phil would laugh at how weird Dan is acting but for some reason, Phil can’t look away.

“Yeah, that’s so sweet! Almost as long as Joshua and I,” Billie smiles encouragingly.

“I think we just got complacent and comfortable. We both knew that we were going to spend the rest of our life’s together, but Phil didn’t take any extra step to secure that,” Dan explains, slowly getting into the role he should be playing. Perks of being a performing arts kid your entire life, Phil thinks to himself.

“God, Phil,” Joshua rolls his eyes playfully and Phil feels the need to defend himself in this made-up story.

“No! That’s not true, I just didn’t think you wanted to get married!”

“When did I say that?” Dan exclaims, holding his hand to his heart in a feigned shock.

“Whenever we spoke about marriage you said it wasn’t necessary and you could think of a million and one things to spend that sort of money on than marriage. You thought it was just a piece of paper!”

“Since when was me binge-watching episode after episode of Don’t Tell The Bride not me liking the idea of marriage, Philly,” Dan giggles, tilting his head again but in a different way from before. Instead of awkwardness and discomfort, all Phil sees is awe.

“I just thought you liked when they fell apart and argued,” Phil says softly.

“No that was a cover up,” Dan teases, rubbing his hand across Phil’s thigh for a second before pulling away and turning fully to Billie and Joshua to immerse himself in the story properly. Phil has never seen anything like this before. He knew Dan was a good actor but not like this. “Anyway. After months of me dropping hints. I’m talking making sure he found me looking in the Argos catalogue at the ring section. Him catching me on the suit section of ASOS, you name it.”

“And now it was blindly obvious how many hints he was dropping,” Phil adds to the story himself, chuckling at Billie’s nod in enthusiasm.

“Don’t make me sound desperate, honey,” Dan argues back, turning his head away from Billie and Joshua for a second to glare at Phil. Phil offers a small laugh in response, reminding himself that Dan isn’t actually glaring at him for a genuine reason because Dan has no reason to be mad. This is a fake story after all.

“No sounding about it.”

“Oi!” Dan exclaims, a high screech coming from his throat out of nothing more than annoyance and his hand comes down to rest on Phil’s shoulder to hit him gently. “You know how it is, Billie, I’m sure.”

Billie nods sympathetically and that’s enough for Dan to continue.

“Well, after those many painful months, I gave up. I was so mad actually. I think I took it out on him a lot but what was a guy meant to do, you think you’re devoting your entire life to someone but they don’t even pick up on when you’re trying to hint to them that you want them to propose.”

“Philly got lazy and comfortable,” Joshua points out, waggling his finger at Phil which Phil sighs at and tries to grab Joshua’s finger to stop it from waggling.

“I took matters into my own hands,” Dan continues, clearly ignoring the bickering from Phil and Joshua beside him.

When Phil pulls his hand away from Joshua, he turns to see Dan smiling to himself as he tells the story and something aches inside Phil’s stomach at the sight. He knows deep down that Dan loves marriage, he loves the idea of it and everything surrounding it, and it aches that Dan is having to tell a story like this when it isn’t even real.

“And what did you do?” Billie says, pushing Phil out of his thought process about Dan and marriage, which is one of the first oddly fitting sidetracks he’s had since arriving here.

“The next morning, I went to the jewellers and sorted out a ring for him,” Dan replies, spinning in his seat to turn more to Phil and grabs his hand to wrap his own in it. “The one specifically.”

“Yeah, we had talked about jewellery before, nothing major and he knew what I liked and I knew what he did too.”

“But I’m the only one who used that information,” Dan rolls his eyes.

“You don’t know!”

“You’re telling me you were going to get me a ring?” Dan raises his eyebrows, squeezing onto Phil’s hand for dear life, like this is a conversation they are seriously having. For everyone else, they are so maybe Dan is just keeping up appearances.

“I wasn’t not planning on it,” Phil teases, squeezing Dans hand as he leans closer into Dan’s personal space in an attempt to be intimidating. It doesn’t work because Dan leans in too and places a small gentle kiss to Phil’s cheek, the feel of Dan’s lips pressing against suddenly Phil is the one intimidated and backing away blushing.

“Of course, you were, bub,” Dan. “Anyway, I remember him talking about this wonderful ring a few years into dating and when I was thinking about this whole proposal thing, it hit me. It had to be that ring.”

“What ring was it?” Billie gasps, which makes Phil giggle because, for any couple, the ring would obviously be right on his finger. She could just look down and see for herself, with any other couple. But Billie already knows that Dan and Phil aren’t like any other couple, more than she properly thinks, so she doesn’t bother looking. Either that or she is far too engrossed into Dan’s story that he is spinning to think properly.

“It’s Vera Wang so a bit pricey but I knew he loved it so it was worth it. It’s black zirconium with a small little black diamond in the middle,” Dan says, and Phil can’t help but notice the light in his eyes when they are talking about it. Phil can’t help but think that maybe Dan is describing his dream ring. Maybe they’ll talk about it when they are alone again.

“It reminds me of Dan, you see,” Phil says following on with the lie.

“Oh that sounds wonderful! You’ll have to show me before you go back home,” Billie smiles, clearly excited by any topic surrounding marriage and proposals. Clearly, she would, this is her wedding after all.

“Definitely,” Phil says whilst trying not to cringe because they do not have a ring like that so they just hope that this is never brought up again.

“Well I bought the ring and made my way back home. Phil being Phil, saw I had a bag and was constantly questioning me what I bought,” Dan continues with his story again, ignoring the constant change in direction that the conversation is having.

“Not in a possessive way, I was just curious and then when he wouldn’t say, it only made me want to know more!”

“Understandable,” Joshua offers.

“I got a little mad and I think I threw the bag at him an-,”

“It was more than a throw,” Phil laughs, butting into the conversation to correct Dan. He doesn’t even know what’s being spoken about, because it’s not a real story by any means, but he feels the need to bicker with Dan nonetheless.

“It was a throw. He questioned it. I cried. He cried. He said yes and here we are,” Dan says, Phil stopping himself from giggling at the abrupt nature of the _proposal_ story.

“You seem so great together,” Joshua replies, which startles the both of them. Phil feels Dan’s hand still on his thigh when he hears the comment and Phil jolts his head up to stare at Joshua.

“Yeah, I remember seeing you together at get-togethers back home and I always thought you were destined to be together,” Billie adds too, making Phil shift awkwardly in his seat. Was he that obviously whenever they were together?

“Really?” Dan whispers softly.

“Of course! I know soulmates when I see ones.”

All Phil can do is blush.

“Well, thank you,” Dan says for them both, nuzzling into Phil’s side. He feels the soft wet feel of Dan’s lips against his cheek which doesn’t help his case with blushing anymore.

“We will leave you to it, you know tons of people to see!”

Billie begins to stand up, clearly wanting to leave them alone having got what she wanted – the proposal story. Joshua meets her behind the chairs after pushing them back under the table and allowing the air to occupy the space again.

Joshua’s hand wraps around Billie’s waist and Phil feels the urge to do the same to his _boyfriend_ and he does, feeling Dan lean into the touch.

“Of course!” Phil smiles, because he doesn’t think he could reply without a smile and a chipper tone. He is happy, sue him.

“And we hope that by the end of this you won’t be blushing after a small amount of PDA!”

~*~

Half an hour after Billie and Joshua left them, they decide to go back to their room for the rest of the evening. It’s getting late and they have a long day ahead of them with the exploration of Athens that they plan to do together.

Dan unlocks their hotel room door and doesn’t hesitate to throw his shirt over his head and peel off his shorts before getting into bed. Phil follows him in but awkward stands at the foot of the bed like he doesn’t know he can actually get in it with Dan, because that’s not something they’ve done for years and he doesn’t want to overstep in any way.

“Phil, are you going to just stand there all night?” Dan whispers softly, smiling at Phil like he’s some sort of lost puppy.

“No,” Phil sighs before pulling his shorts and shirt off the same as Dan and climbing into the opposite side of the bed to him. As soon as he is under the covers, he feels weird. Not a bad weird.

All he can think is that this _should_ feel wrong but it doesn’t.

“Dan?” Phil speaks after a few beats of silence.

“Yeah?”

“The ring you described, was that anything special?” He bites his lip as he finishes his question. He doesn’t want to push Dan but he is just curious because of how much Dan seemed to like explaining the ring. It must mean something.

“I don’t know, it’s just the one I think would be pretty,” Dan shrugs like it’s nothing but Phil knows from that react that it’s not nothing.

“It sounds it,” It comes out as a whisper because Phil doesn’t want to push anymore, not receiving an answer he was looking for.

Dan must decide that this is the end of the conversation because he shuffles down into bed properly, back no longer up against the headboard and rolls his body over to lie on his side. The side away from Phil.

Phil eventually does the same, taking off his glasses and putting them on the bedside cabinet next to him. He turns on his side to get comfortable but not the side facing away from Dan, he makes sure he is looking at him even though it’s the middle of the night and all he can really see is the faint outline due to the city lights coming out from the window.

The outline of Dan is enough and if he really focuses his eyes on Dan’s back, he can see small freckles appearing like constellations in front of him. The speckles of Orion and Cygnus on Dan’s back is quite fitting, because Phil has always liked space and the stars.

“Phil? Are you up?” Dan croaks, breaking Phil out of his trance. He tries to look anywhere other than at Dan when Dan turns around gently to face him properly. If Dan is surprised that Phil is already facing him then he doesn’t show it.

Now that Dan is facing him, Phil can make out small parts of his face against the lights shining through the window. It’s not perfect, Phil mentally curses himself for not having 20/20 vision in this moment. But he can vaguely see Dan’s eyes and they look nervous.

“Yeah?”

“Can I ask you something?” Dan whispers. He doesn’t need to, it’s not like anyone is asleep in the room but he does anyway and Phil can’t help but find it endearing.

“Go ahead.”

“It’s a little weird and you can say no obviously. Please don’t feel like you ne-“

“Dan, just say it,” Phil says softly, reaching out to hold Dan’s hand for comfort like they usually do. Dan squeezes his hand, closing his eyes before taking a sharp breath and opening his eyes again before looking at Phil properly.

“I think we should kiss.”

“What?” Phil squeaks. He doesn’t mean to react like that. He swears he wouldn’t have under any other circumstance. Someone asking him to kiss them, fine! Wonderful! Show stopping! But Dan is a whole other story.

“Like you saw how you acted all uncomfortable and flustered when I kissed your cheek in front of them, couples don’t react like that to a cheek kiss,” Dan tries to argue as much as he can within a whisper, but it doesn’t really work because every time he says the word kiss his voice squeaks a little like Phil’s too.

Phil’s mind is still spiralling at the thought of kissing Dan. He knows it’s properly necessary and he got himself into this, he needs to maintain it. But kissing Dan isn’t something he thought he would ever get the ability to do.

“Uh, I guess you’re right,” Phil finally says after a beat of silence, maybe a beat too long after he glances at Dan and sees his lip in between his teeth again.

“So?”

“I guess.. but are you sure? You don’t need to?”

“Phil I was the one who offered,” Dan says softly, intertwining his fingers with the hands that Phil seemed to forget were even touching until this point. He squeezes gently back so Dan knows it’s okay.

“Yeah but like, kissing is weird and that’s such a huge thing to do,” Phil replies, matching the sort of loud whisper Dan is doing.

“It’s really nothing, it’s just a kiss,” Dan shrugs, turning on his side properly and shuffling closer to Phil, which doesn’t help Phil’s heart at all. “Just one, so like you aren’t uncomfortable when I kiss you again in front of anyone.”

“I wasn’t uncomfortable,” Phil says bravely.

“But anyway,” Dan replies almost too quickly for Phil’s liking. It’s almost like he knows what Phil means by saying he isn’t uncomfortable, and Phil doesn’t like being perceived that clearly. Dan shouldn’t know.

“Okay.”

“Okay?” Dan frowns, clearly confused.

“Kiss me then.”

Phil’s heart begins to race, crashing against his ribcage at every beat. If he weren't so aware of what was happening around him, he would have sworn that his heart was no longer where it was supposed to be and instead thumping around in his stomach somewhere. However, it got there, he isn’t too sure.

He watches as Dan leans forward, closing whatever gap was between them, but catching himself. Stopping with enough space for Phil to feel Dan’s breath across his lips, enough to part them with a gasp.

Phil isn’t sure why Dan stops but Phil grows impatient and leans forward to close any remaining gap between them, a surge of confidence running through him. He does it slowly enough to give Dan time to back out if this becomes too much for him, or if this is some kind of weird joke he is pulling.

But Dan doesn’t pull away and Phil feels his eyes flutter closed as their lips meet hesitantly, the pair of them sucking in a breath as they come to the realisation of what’s happening.

It’s gentle enough to be their first proper kiss at least. Sweet and chaste, no tongue involved and fairly reserved. Phil thinks he is swimming in it, and something awakens inside of him that hopes that this doesn’t stop. He doesn’t know where it exactly comes from, but he doesn’t feel too surprised when he scoots closer to Dan, touching him with his hand to remove any space that was previously between them and deepening the kiss.

It feels weird but for some reason, Phil doesn’t expect anything less from them, and when he feels Dan’s tongue gain entrance to his mouth, it reassures him that this is somewhat okay.

He allows himself to be pushed backwards so his back is firmly on the bed and he allows Dan to climb on top of him. Not completely, just enough to feel his presence but know that he is still lying on his side next to Phil.

After what feels equally like a few seconds and a lifetime, Dan pulls away. Phil opens his eyes to Dan hovering above him with a shy smile on his face, hiding behind the way Dan’s teeth pull his bottom lip in his mouth.

“Goodnight, Phil.”

And just like that, every inch of Phil that was previously touching Dan is no more and Phil feels that the pang growing bigger evermore, and it worries him that he can’t stop it this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi long time no see! i really struggled with writing recently. 1) because i just really had a shit time mental health wise these last few weeks and 2) because whatever energy i had got pulled into writing my final assignment for second year university. i havent finished yet but i managed to write this chapter during the week so i thought i'd post it!
> 
> i'll try and update next week too but my deadline is wednesday so i may not have time! that being said, i always say this and end up posting the following week as if it's nothing lmfao so we will see :)


	6. Chapter 6

Phil is not sure he gets any sleep that night. He remembers checking the time at three in the morning and being wide awake, thinking about the kiss they had just shared.

He knows he is overthinking it because Dan made it very clear that he only wanted to kiss Phil so Phil could stop acting so _uncomfortable_ whenever they expressed their supposed romantic love for one another in front of other people. But Phil knows what he was feeling whenever Dan kissed him wasn’t discomfort and it never will be. He isn’t too sure that will ever go away, especially after a kiss like that.

It’s not like he has never kissed anyone before. Because he has. He has unashamedly been through quite a few kisses in his time but none of them equates to _that_ kiss.

Phil shuffles in his bed gently, even though he is sure Dan is still fast asleep if his soft snoring is anything to go by, turning on his side to get more comfortable. Obviously on the side that doesn’t face Dan because he just doesn’t think he can cope with facing the other way this early in the morning, from what he remembers of Dan’s sleeping face.

Looking out of the window gives him some type of perspective though. Yeah, sure they are in the middle of Athens on a sort of wedding holiday with family pretending to be engaged because Phil is too much of an idiot to correct people when they wrongly assume things but they _are_ in the middle of Athens.

From their hotel room window, the window that spans the entire east wall and allows in a lot of sunlight if they don’t forget to close the blinds (which they obviously had forgotten when they went to bed the night before), the rather large hill with the Acropolis on top is directly in view. For a second, Phil ponders just how lucky they are with the view from their hotel room alone but then a second later, realises they will probably go there today.

He knows just as much as the next person how cool and iconic Athens is for history and whilst he isn’t completely educated on the history and he _knows_ that he should have become prepared before he came here, he is excited to learn something today. Especially with Dan by his side because it’s going to be a pretty fun day.

Phil must have zoned out in between him imagining his day ahead and this moment because he slowly comes back to Earth when he hears a soft yawn behind him.

“You up?” Dan grumbles and Phil can sense that he is stretching from the movement of the mattress underneath him.

“Yeah, you?” Phil croaks out, for no other reason other than not speaking yet today.

“Obviously you muppet.”

Phil can’t really help but laugh, because he was asking a stupid question and the word _muppet_ never fails to make him chuckle. Dan laughs back in response too, the type that Phil can just tell rumbles through his entire chest.

“What are the plans today?” Dan speaks up again and Phil begins to sit up in bed properly so he can see Dan more clearly, forgo the glasses. “I kind of wanted to go and explore the city with you?”

“We can do that,” Phil replies, leaning backwards so his exposed back is against the wooden headboard on the bedframe. He doesn’t really remember going to sleep without a shirt on but he blames the alcohol in his system last night ruining his thought process. He does wonder if Dan is in the same situation too, but he doesn’t want to think about that _too_ much, he has boundaries at the very least.

“Nothing else you wanted to do?”

“Nope,” Phil stretches and accidentally smells his armpits. “Could shower though.”

“Was hoping you’d say that,” Dan smirks, pulling up the duvet to almost cocoon himself and Phil has to stop himself from tucking him in further, and falling back into the bed to cuddle.

“Shut up.”

Phil instead reaches toward and pushes Dan’s shoulder playfully with the palm of his hand and quickly shuffles backwards to avoid any retaliation.

“No, you.”

“You’re so annoying,” Phil rolls his eyes as he looks at Dan, still looking adorable and innocent even though he is far from it.

“Go shower then,” Dan leans toward to place his hand against Phil’s bare shoulder and Phil feels a lump in his throat appears and his ability to breathe seizes. Screw him for being so reactive to Dan touching him.

Dan pushes him forward a few times playfully with no real attempt to move Phil from his position in the bed but Phil does eventually get up, albeit reluctantly. He makes his way to the bathroom, locking the door behind him and heading into the shower.

~*~

They take the best part of an hour between the pair of them to get showered and ready for the day ahead. Dan spending more time in the shower due to this extensive hair care routine that helps tame his curly mane and Phil spending more time sitting in a towel on their bed before awkwardly remembering that this is not just a room just for him and he needs to quickly be covered up and ready before Dan leaves the bathroom.

Phil is just buttoning up his flowy shirt, patterned with blue stars on a white canvas, luckily as the bathroom door flies open and Dan returns, Dan having the upper hand of knowledge and taking his clothes for the day in the bathroom with him.

Dan’s fashion is always something that floors Phil. Phil, growing up and especially at Dan’s age now didn’t really have the best ability to create outfits that looked cute but Dan did and it’s almost always something remarkable.

Today, Dan is wearing his textbook striped oversized shirt with an even bigger white button up, which is unbuttoned obviously, with grid patterned shorts. They always make jokes about how it seems like this outfit is all Dan owns in the summer months.

He’s almost too busy spending his time staring Dan up and down to notice that Dan has in fact been staring at him too the entire time with a weird look on his face that Phil can’t exactly place.

“Save the love heart eyes for when there are other people in the room, Lester,” Dan smiles and he makes his way into the room with perfect hair and a perfect outfit like it’s nothing and it’s definitely not affecting his friend.

Phil groans and rolls his eyes as a reply before standing up to take Dan’s dirty washing to put in the basket they have in their room, an issue they had a few years ago when they mixed their dirty clothes with fresh ones and stressed about what to wear. People usually turn their nose up at touching dirty clothes, especially when it’s not their own but living together for almost a decade really does have its perks sometimes.

“Are you ready to go?” Phil says as he turns back around to face Dan, who is now lying down on his stomach with his phone in his hand. From what Phil can see, he is scrolling down Twitter looking at his mentions, which is something they try to do every day to see art or general funny tweets that their audience tags them in.

“Are you?” Dan quirks his eyebrow up, turning his head to look at Phil with a smirk across his face.

“What?”

“You didn’t finish buttoning up your shirt?” Dan nods his head in Phil’s direction and Phil’s head falls to his stomach where he can see half of his chest is still exposed. He blushes, trying desperately to ignore how much his face is burning whilst he buttons up the rest of his shirt before looking back at Dan.

He says that, but it’s more so him looking just a few inches north of Dan to avoid any further embarrassment.

“Come on then, let’s go explore Athens,” Dan jumps up, innocently grabbing Phil’s hand to drag him to the door.

They make it down the stairs in one piece, but something dawns upon Phil the second they make it to the lobby. In fact, that realisation is even worse when he notices his family standing in the lobby looking at him expectantly with a smile on each and every one of their faces.

Even though they didn’t make it concrete, coming downstairs together at the same time the family were leaving does kind of make it seem like they accepted the invitation to spend the day with them, and Phil isn’t about to let alone down.

“Hi boys!” Mum almost screams and Phil almost feels bad that for a second, he doubted his want to spend time with them. It is not like he dislikes his family because that’s not the case at all, he loves and adores his family massively, but he did plan to keep it casual today. Mainly so he didn’t have to romantically touch Dan too much until this evening.

“Hello, are you joining us?” Cornelia excitedly, holding Martyn's hand so Phil impulsively holds Dan’s instantly regardless of what his brain is telling him.

“Uh, sure?” Dan replies turning to look at Phil inquisitively, like he isn’t too sure of what he can say. Phil only nods.

“Great! Let’s get going!” Mum smiles at them both nd she turns around to get out of the hotel and they all follow suit.

Walking out of the hotel, still holding hands, Phil turns to Dan and sees a small frown across his face and his teeth sucking in his bottom lip as if he is thinking about something, “Hey? You good?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“We don’t have to hold hands in public if you don’t want to?” Phil says as he swings his hand gently, as if to remind Dan that are in fact still holding hands. Of course, he probably isn’t thinking about this just as much as Phil clearly is.

“No no, we can. You’re good,” Dan turns his head to face Phil and smiles, squeezing his hand to reaffirm his statement. “As I said, it’s the middle of school terms so hardly anyone is going to be on holiday right now. It’s unlikely that someone will see us.”

“I guess you’re right.”

“Always am, Philly,” Dan smiles before turning his head back in front him, before looking down at his feet and the smile on his face completely diminishes.

“Then what’s up?” Phil knows he’s stepping on awkward ground with asking another question but he genuinely does just care about how Dan feels right now, and if he isn’t doing okay he would like to know, in order to help solve it.

“I was just thinking,”

“About?”

There’s a pan of silence between them and for a second, Phil doesn’t think that Dan is actually going to answer. So instead, he looks up to find his family and notices they are waiting for them at the entrance to the tram station. He isn’t sure when or how but they must have stopped walking with them and actually dawdled their way somehow.

It is only then that Dan speaks up but it’s not exactly what Phil is expecting.

“Nothing. Come on, let’s catch them up!”

~*~

They make it to the Acropolis quickly enough, walking to the nearest tram station and catching the tram to the top of the Acropolis museum. It’s kind of easy to fall into the normalisation of hanging out with his family with Dan because, over the years, they’ve done it a lot.

Sure, they have not spent that time being horrendously coupley but deep down, Phil doesn’t think he would ever be like that with anyone he dates because public displays of affection aren’t really his thing. He could easily hold Dan’s hand in front of his family but that’s not something they necessarily do.

Sitting in the tram with Cornelia and Martyn opposite him and his mother and father a few seats across, it feels easy to just sit with no personal space between him and Dan, thighs touching and pressing into each other with each toss and turn in the carriage. It’s comforting and neither of them make any effort to shuffle and separate the distance whilst they speak about the day ahead.

“See for the extra couple of pounds we skipped all those steps,” Phil’s mum explains as she points down to her right as they step out of the carriage and onto the rocky ground in front of them.

“First off, it’s not pounds, its euros,” Martyn laughs, grabbing the handle of his over the shoulder bag at a loss of what else to do with his hands. “And second I-“

“I think we should walk down those steps to go for food later?” Phil pipes up, forgetting for a moment that he is still holding Dan’s hand once he brings his hand up to do his usual hand movements whilst he speaks. Dan giggles playfully when he puts his hand down almost embarrassed.

“That’s exactly what I was going to say,” Martyn smiles.

They all agree and take the final few steps towards the building in front of them.

In pictures, the Acropolis looks massively different. It looks huge but nothing compares to how it looks in real life. Phil is pretty should that the height of the ruins takes up at least ten of him, maybe more. He’s pretty sure that’s an understatement.

The way the building stands is ridiculously remarkable, and Phil can immediately understand why so many people are obsessed with ancient history. Around them and the entire Acropolis, there are people all around them. It’s maybe far too crowded for anyone to function properly and that just makes Phil feel a little nervous.

All of the people running to and from and screaming to speak to their family and friends even though they are only a few metres apart from one another. All of the yelling at dear ones in order to pose to take the _right_ photo in front of the ancient building. The numerous tour guides plotted around the diameter of the Parthenon waving their flags and trying to keep above the difficult sound of the tourists to keep their groups together without losing a member like a lost puppy.

It almost overwhelms him, the number of people here. Because he’s never been acting like a couple in front of such huge crowds with anyone, let alone Dan. And Dan is definitely different. Dan is way different to act like a couple with, especially when they have an audience who could see them together at any moment.

They all walk together anyway to the kiosk where there’s a small blonde person with a face full of makeup like it isn’t ridiculously hot on the top of this huge expanse of rock. It’s almost like Dan can sense Phil’s slight anxiety because he feels the slight squeeze on his hand when they stop in front of the kiosk to order the tickets.

Phil watches as his mum books them in for the next possible tour on the Acropolis and he watches as she almost jumps in glee when the tour guide announces how lucky they are that they have just enough spaces on the next tour for them to join, and how they don’t usually have last minute spots for a group this large less than ten minutes before the starting time.

They all say thank you before they turn around and explore the small area by the tour waiting zone with smiles on their faces, Dan’s hand still in Phil’s.

~*~

“You really can’t help yourself and be a tourist, can you?” Dan scoffs, but it’s definitely not in an aggressive, actually angry way. It’s more so just in fascination, and Phil knows that strangely enough.

“Can you blame me, though?” Phil replies, a smile wide across his face that he knows is being mirrored by Dan’s face as soon as he turns around and looks. Dan offers a small chuckle in response.

The Parthenon is blindingly white. Which isn’t necessarily surprising since it is some type of stone that it always going to be white in nature. How could anyone not be pleasantly overwhelmed with this experience and sight?

“It’s beautiful,” Cornelia breathes, coming up behind the pair of them and wrapping her arm around their torsos and leaning her head on their shoulder. Phil actually isn’t sure how she manages to reach, been as she is just over five feet tall and they are both well over six feet themselves, but somehow she does.

“Yeah same. I’ve seen pictures but it’s so..” Dan replies, and Phil turns his head to look at him and is almost shell shocked with just in awe he looks. It’s not very often that Dan looks like this, there’s only been a few occasions where this has been the look on his face.

One of the most memorable being the first time they ever met in Manchester all those years ago. Phil was sure he wanted something more between them and they had kissed, but nothing more came of it. Phil, being the shy and timid early twenties person he was at the time, he didn’t know how to bring that back up again so he just didn’t.

When Phil comes back to Earth, Cornelia is long gone and it’s just the pair of them standing in front of one of the pillars.

“Yeah,” says Dan, eyes shining away like Phil remembers all too well. “Why have we never been here before, Phil?”

“It was just never on the radar?” Phil shrugs, simply because he doesn’t have an answer to that question.

“Well, I think it should have been,” Dan says, squeezing Phil’s hand once again which makes Phil turn his head to find Dan staring back at him. For a moment, Phil swears that he sees Dan look down at his lips but he promises himself that didn’t happen, because why would it? No one is around.

~*~

The tour takes the best part of an hour, because surprisingly enough there are plenty of things that tour guides need to give lengthy explanations. For example, why the left pillar looks the way it does, which actually has a reason.

But Phil finds himself in the gift shop alone in more or less no time, looking at all of the porcelain plates and cutlery that has different small designs of the Parthenon in different stylish techniques. Phil isn’t sure he necessarily _likes_ anything in store here because it’s not his type of colourful, bold aesthetic but he picks up a few pieces anyway and carries them to the till.

He kind of likes the fact that he is the only person in this family who is a stick for cheesy merchandise because he has the ability to be free from his thoughts for a moment or two. Again, not that he hates his family in any way, just that this entire experience is overwhelming.

Phil puts the handful of postcards and the small set of Acropolis plates that he thinks they’ll never use because they are _just too pretty_ and Phil doesn’t want to break them, and quickly pays before leaving the gift shop to find his family.

He sees Dan quickly enough, almost like he is always purposely looking out for him in any scenario, but he is not going to admit that. He walks forward towards him, making a b-line towards his best friend, but he steadily becomes to a halt once he notices his own mother walk towards Dan and stand next to him.

He can’t exactly hear the conversation but it’s enough to stop and watch and be able to see them laughing together. He can’t help but realise just how much he loves that they all fit together so easily. Almost like Dan is a part of his family without even trying.

And seeing his mum wrap her arm around Dan’s waist as she brings him into a hug really warms his heart that maybe one day will be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a late one but :)  
> i wasn't going to post today because i have a deadline this week that i need to finish but i wrote this instead and wanted to post it. don't worry i still will finish my assignment on time :D


	7. Chapter 7

“Phil, darling! Come here,” His mother calls him over which brings him out of whatever daydream he isn’t going to admit he was having.  
Phil walks over, one hand in the pocket of his shorts and the other hand wrapping around the handle of the bag full of goodies that he brought from the gift shop. He notices that Dan eyes up the bag immediately but doesn’t prepare himself for the fond look he gets afterwards.

All Phil can do is blush when he continues walking forward, staring at the shy smile across Dan’s face, not really sure he is doing a good job of hiding the joining smile that appears across his face when he comes to a stop in front of Dan.

“You really can’t ever help yourself in a gift shop, can you?” Dan giggles, bending down slightly to attempt to pry into the bag to see what Phil has brought. Phil drags the bag away but Dan still manages to see and giggles some more. “Phil, we’re never going to use those plates and you know it.”

“That was the idea,” Phil replies.

Dan huffs out a laugh and shakes his head, looking off into the close distance where the rest of the family are – Phil doesn’t miss the way his brain is easily sliding Dan into the _family_ category and how nice that sounds.

“Your mum wants to take some photos here?” Dan turns his head to look back at Phil, smile fading slightly but still apparent on his face when he catches eye contact with Phil. It does something to his stomach that he isn’t sure he feels all too comfortable with.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yes! You and Dan stand up there and we can take some photos of you two!”

Almost out of nowhere, Phil’s mother appears, with Phil’s dad close behind her, and startles them both out of the lingering eye contact session they were having. Phil is never sure how his mum can do that, sneak up on him without making so much of a snapped tree branch sound, but she does it.

“Yeah, first proper couples’ holiday and all,” Cornelia replies, following up behind her with her hand in Martyn’s.

“They have probably had other couples’ holidays, Corn,” Martyn interrupts, a small chuckle escaping his throat as he finishes his sentence.

“Yeah but not _out_.”

“You’re right,” Dan says softly, like he always does whenever Cornelia is in the situation. Phil has always noticed that and knows how much Dan adores Cornelia as a person, they have a lot in common. “We want to remember this, right Phil?”

“Right.”

Phil intertwines his fingers with Dan’s as they move to a spot in front of the Acropolis ruins, mainly so that it’s behind them in the shot rather than anything else. All of this area is pretty so it doesn’t strictly matter where they are but Phil assumes it would be nice to have a memory of their Acropolis visit been as he has always wanted to come here, with Dan.

When they come to a stop, Phil snakes his hand around Dan’s waists and pulls him closer to his own body so their sides are pressed up against each other. Dan makes the conscious effort of finding Phil’s hand that is resting on his hip bone and placing his own hand on top of it, to loosely intertwine their fingers.

This is maybe the closest they have ever been with one another this entire holiday and it’s almost intoxicating. It is almost too much to feel so much of Dan at once and Phil cannot handle it, in the best way possible.

“Say cheese!” His mum almost squeals and Phil feels them both smile at the camera as the shutter goes off.

As soon as the photo is taken, he feels Dan move away from his side almost instantly, like Phil’s body burns him. Phil knows there’s no way that’s possible because that’s how _he_ feels and there’s no way Dan feels that too.

This produces a fit of giggles from everyone in front of them, even Phil’s father cracks up at the sight which makes Phil blush because his dad never really reacts to things. He’s always the silent kitten in the pack and only really makes his voice heard when it’s strictly necessary.

“It’s fine, boys. No one is up here,” Mum laughs, running her fingers delicately through the side of her hair to tuck it behind her ear as the wind blows it across her face. “How about another?”

“I think one is fine?” Phil says awkwardly, knowing from whatever reaction Dan just gave from the first photo, Dan isn’t going to be up for doing another.

“Nonsense! Do like a cute kissy one or something?” Cornelia smiles innocently, because it’s normal for couples to kiss sometimes and why would this be anything other than an innocent ask?

Phil swallows his throat as he turns to look at Dan to check his reaction, only to find Dan staring back at him already. They both look at each other for a few seconds in a stressed panic, trying to find each other’s opinion on the kiss selfie through their eyes alone.

But then Phil remembers that cheek kisses exist and for that exact reason he takes a deep breath and places his lips on Dan’s cheek as gently as possible whilst the shutter goes off again. He feels Dan’s cheek rise shyly which only implies that Dan is smiling, whether it’s genuine or not.

“I think a kiss on the lips would be better? Because Dan won’t have to awkwardly smile at the camera?” Cornelia says.

Dan huffs out a laugh and Phil thinks he knows why, because clearly Dan is feeling awkward but it’s not just because of the camera that’s in the equation here. It’s probably because it’s going to be awkward for Dan regardless of how they kiss. Maybe Dan also doesn’t quite believe he got himself into this situation and wants an immediate get out of jail card.

“Are you sure you’re alright with kissing in front of-“ Phil doesn’t mean to whisper but he doesn’t want the rest of the group to ask questions, especially when they are meant to be a couple. Maybe Phil could have passed off his question as genuine because they have kept their relationship private for many years but Phil doesn’t want to deepen the lie any more than he already has.

“Phil, just do it. I said I was fine,” Dan whispers too.

So, Phil doesn’t have any other choice but to kiss Dan. At first, it’s gentle mimicking a small peck on the lips but when he tries to pull away, Dan follows him with a more intense press on the lips. It wasn’t anything like the kiss they shared in bed the night before, because that was in private and just between those two, but it still somehow makes his heart beat even faster.

Phil opens his mouth slightly to deepen the kiss without really meaning to, but Dan complies and they lose themselves in the kiss for a few moments. Phil can’t bring himself to pull away and that only strengthens when he feels Dan’s tongue poke at the small gap in between his lips, asking for entry, because there’s no way he can stop kissing Dan now.

Chest heaving, heart beating, it is almost too much.

“Alright boys, I took a few because you couldn’t help yourselves,” Phil’s mum laughs, and Phil pulls away only because of the heard of laughter he hears from everyone else in the group. Sue him for forgetting that they weren’t the only people on this massive rock.

When they part, Phil hazards a quick glance towards Dan and calms himself when he doesn’t see immediate panic spreading across Dan’s face. Instead, he sees a rose-tinted scatter across his cheekbones and his dimples on full display, only momentarily though like he catches himself basking in the kiss for too long and the dimples disappear.

“There’s absolutely no doubt that these two are soulmates,” Martyn says playfully, rolling his eyes assumedly at the length of the kiss. “Me and Corn aren’t even that aggressive with public displays of affection.”

“Hey!” Cornelia smacks him playfully and reaches for her phone in her pocket to hand over to Phil. “Here, can you take some of Martyn and I?”

By the time Phil takes the phone from Cornelia’s hand, Dan is long gone and Phil only manages to notice where he ends up because he has a few minutes before Cornelia is shouting that they are ready for their pictures.

Phil takes the photo of his brother and his girlfriend, or more so the photoshoot of his brother and his girlfriend because they ask for so many, and hands Cornelia her phone back before he can get roped into taking any more.

He turns around to walk in the direction of where he last saw Dan ten minutes ago and finds him easily enough, exactly where Phil last saw him. He’s sitting on the edge of the cliff with his legs dangling down facing the ground.

Phil would argue that this is ridiculously dangerous and Dan should move away from the edge of the cliff in fear that he sneezes and falls to his death or something else that has miraculous Dan and Phil energy, but when he notices the look on Dan’s face, almost deep in thought, he decides against it.

Instead, he walks even closer and watches as Dan continues throwing small rocks that he finds on the floor beside him off of the edge.

“You good?” Phil sits down too, maybe too close for comfort but neither of them question it so it’s fine.

“I’m fine,” Dan turns his head to smile at Phil briefly, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. Something tugs at Phil’s heart at the sight. Dan eventually turns his head back and grabs another rock to throw off the edge.

“I should have maybe stopped with a cheek kiss. I’m sorry if I pushed you?” Phil bites his lip, turning his head to idly look at where Dan’s rocks are landing.

He feels Dan turn his head to look at him, if the burning in his ears has anything to go by how intense the stare must be, but he does not dare meet those brown eyes. Something about this feels far too intimate.

He knows they kissed the night before in their bed, but something feels different kissing in front of other people and better yet, those people immediately believing it and calling them soulmates for a completely different reason that Dan calls Phil his soulmate, romantic rather than platonic.

“No, you’re good.”

“Are you sure?”

“Phil,” Dan reaches forward, placing the palm of his hand on Phil’s thigh, allowing his finger to rub circles into the fabric of his shorts.

Phil hums, finally facing Dan albeit nervously and Dan leans forward to press his lips against Phil’s.

Phil panics for a moment, because no one is around so strictly speaking there is no reason for Dan’s lips to be on his face anymore, lasts nights kiss quickly brushed under the carpet. He doesn’t find the ability to pull away and question when the kiss deepens, and Phil loses himself.

His hands find Dan’s neck and pull him closer to his body and Dan’s hand slides up to Phil’s hipbone, still rubbing incessant circles into the fabric there, surely burning a hole in his shorts. Phil moves his mouth open slightly and Dan takes it as an invitation again and opens his too, slowly moving in rhythm with one another and slowly Dan’s tongue enters Phil’s mouth to explore and Phil feels that same pang in his chest again, but this time he isn’t so sure it’s a bad thing.

Phil’s stomach is doing somersaults in his body and he is _sure_ his heart is beating so fast that Dan could feel it, but also not moving at all because it is simply in shock.

“Alright boys, we’re going to get some food. Are you coming or are you going to make out on the cliff edge for the rest of the day?” Martyn laughs behind them, placing the palm of his hand gently on Phil’s shoulder, not to startle him but to let him know of his presence.

It does startle Phil anyway and they pull away from each other. Phil doesn’t dare even look at Dan right now, because he isn’t so sure that he will be able to stop his brain and mouth spurting out questions about what the _fuck_ just happened.

So instead, he grabs Dan’s hand blindly and helps him stand up, keeping his eyes trained on their hands instead of anywhere near Dan’s face.

~*~

The walk down the steps isn’t as easy as Phil thought it would have been and he quickly regrets his decision to agree with Martyn on not taking the tram back to central Athens. He doesn’t hate it, and maybe if they were in London weather right now instead of in the middle of the Mediterranean, maybe it would be rather pleasant.

But instead, they are in exhaustingly hot heat with little to no breeze walking down steps that must equal at least a mile or three long. It’s not the worst situation they could ever be in but at least they know for future reference never to walk this way again.

They make it down to the bottom, sweat and all, still holding hands. They laugh and joke with the group along the way, with how Phil’s mum and dad are getting far too old to listen to their children when they want to do something and that Phil and Martyn are _definitely_ old enough to make their own decisions but definitely shouldn’t make decisions for the whole group.

Dan pledges that he never wants to walk again, no matter how much Phil begs him too and Phil can’t help the blush that spreads across his entire body when his mother replies that Dan obviously will do whatever Phil asks of him because they are so in love and that’s what you do when you’re in love with someone.

Dan doesn’t speak for the rest of the walk through the town until they reach Kolonaki, a small village town where posh international designer labels share space with more than a few fine dining Greek restaurants. There are also trendy upscale bars with live music but they all decide that isn’t for them today, after the walk.

Luckily for them, when Phil’s mother walks into the one restaurant, Kiouzin, that they have chosen after briefly scanning the menu on Dan’s phone, they have space available for them almost immediately after a quick clean of the table. The waitress smiles when she says it’s lucky because they are usually really busy around this time because of how close they are to the Acropolis.

Phil just adds that as another thing on the list of things they are somehow lucky for today, almost like the gods are on their side.

Once they get seated, Phil is able to take in the restaurant properly. It’s bright in nature, the walls being a blend of white and cream, an old Athenian feel. There are flowers in almost every corner of the room they are placed in and Phil thinks it looks beautiful.

The long table, with just enough space for them all to sit on without being too squished, being pressed against the wall so one side as formal olive coloured dining chairs and the other side has a cushioned bench.

Obviously, Phil sits on the bench. He’s been that way since he was a tiny child, demanding to sit on the bench as if it’s any more interesting or cool.

His exploration of the restaurant doesn’t last too long however because Dan quickly takes his seat next to him, after spending a few minutes talking to the waitress about possible vegan options – him desperately trying to be more conscious of what he is eating lately. Phil can tell he doesn’t necessarily mean to sit as close to Phil as he does when he stills himself realising.

“Right, the waitress said these ones should be translated in English for us,” Phil’s father speaks as he looks through the pile of restaurants on the side of the table, picking out the dark green ones that the waitress pointed out and handing one to each person on the table.

Dan opens the one in front of him and immediately Phil goes to look at what is on the menu without a seconds thought. They mumble with each other for a few minutes, blindly discussing their appeal to any of the dishes and coming to conclusions together,

When they decide together, Phil moves back and looks up to find his mother smiling fondly at him, with her menu unopened as if she’s been doing that since the second they got the menus out. He blushes but still asks her why she’s looking at him like that with his eyes.

“We gave you two menus and you still chose to do something together,” His mum coos, moving her hand forward across the table to take her son's hand and strokes it. After a few beats, she drops the menu she’s holding in her right hand and takes Dan’s hand too, Phil for a second forgetting he is at the table too and cringes when he realises Dan has to hear this oo-ing and aw-ing that his mum is doing.

“It’s nothing,” Phil tries to say, shrugging it off as a basic thing that everyone does even though he knows there was absolutely no reason for a couple to use the same menu if they get given two originally. It’s just something Dan and Phil do.

“It’s a lot. I’m so happy you two found each other,” She continues, smiling at her two boys before squeezing her hands against theirs. Phil smiles instantly at his mother’s happiness before turning to Dan to share a smile too. Dan looks really happy and Phil can't help but notice that.

“Thank you, mum,” Phil replies to her gently and honestly because even if they aren’t romantically together like she thinks, she still holds some value in her words. Phil, at least for himself, knows he is really happy to find Dan in this world. Dan’s his best friend and platonic soulmate, of course, he’s incredibly lucky to find him this early on in life.

“It’s no problem sweetheart,” She holds their hands for a few more seconds before letting go and getting back to the menu to decide on her meal herself.

Phil suddenly gets really nervous and turns his head to gauge Dan’s reaction but when he sees a pleasant smile with no anxiety or distress in sight, his nerves quell and he realises he has no reason to feel nervous because it’s clear Dan feels the same way regardless of the definition of their relationship.

~*~

The waitress comes back to their table after a seemingly short, probably because Phil spends the entire time thinking about Dan and the definition of their relationship and definitely because Phil thinks about the kiss they shared on the cliff's edge, but quick ten minutes and takes their orders.

Dan orders Greek noodles in stuffed vegetables which is surprisingly one of the multiple vegan options on the menu, which Dan mentions is uncommon for Greek restaurants due to their love of feta cheese. Phil orders chicken pagiar which doesn’t take him that long to decide on because he isn’t a picky eater in the slightest. They also order a side of fried potatoes with salt and thyme because what is a meal without them?

They idly go back to talking amongst the group once the waitress takes everyone’s order and ensures that the food will be out as soon as possible. They smile gratefully and almost immediately the conversation turns to Dan and Phil, Phil realising they haven’t really spoken to his parents about their relationship yet.

“So, how are you both coping with telling everyone?” Martyn asks over a sip of wine, that he ordered multiple bottles off for the table.

“Well, it’s not as stressful as we thought.”

“Yeah, everyone has been really lovely,” Dan smiles, like a genuine smile and for a second Phil forgets this is all one big lie.

“That’s because we all already assumed,” Martyn chuckles under this breath and both Dan and Phil dart their head up in shock, eyes bulging.

“Hey!” Cornelia exclaims, playfully swatting Martyn’s hand that’s resting on the time. “You know you can’t say that?”

“Oops, sorry guys.”

“It’s okay,” Dan chuckles, playing with the rim of his wine glass. He seems to have calmed down and recovered from that very quickly. “What do you mean though?”

Dan looks serious all of a sudden, like every ounce of laughter and joking around has left his body and Phil’s chest constricts. He wishes he could turn back time and stop Dan from asking the question because he knows he would not be able to cope with the answer.

“Oh, you know,” Martyn smiles. “You two are obviously meant to be together. Everyone said it when you met all those years ago and there have been so many times where we thought you were _almost_ there and I guess we were right.”

“No, but why do you think that?”

Phil’s breath gets caught in his throat for a second and almost chokes there and then. He wants to leave for the bathroom to escape this situation, but he knows he can’t. His feet feel glued to the floor in a desperate attempt to hear the end of the conversation, because whilst he doesn’t want to know the answers, he also kind of does.

“Uh, well? I don’t know-“ Cornelia tries her best, bless her. She really does try to butt in the conversation and make it more pleasant but Martyn being Martyn, doesn’t know when to stop.

“Because you’ve acted like a couple seen the second you’ve been friends. Attached at the hip is what I think they call it?”

“We’re not attached at the hip,” Phil scoffs.

“Okay that’s bullshit and we all know it,” Martyn rolls his eyes.

“Language please at the table boys,” Mum says and Martyn nods in apology.

“But we only ever do what friends do with each other? How is it that obvious?” Dan says calmly but from the body language that he is portraying, he is getting visibly frustrated. Maybe only Phil can tell though, because obviously, he is the only one here who spends day in day out with Dan to pick up on her nervous traits.

“Why does it matter anyway? You’re together and that’s all that matters!” Mum offers innocently, running her hand through her hair due to the heat in the restaurant. Maybe Phil is not the only one who can notice Dan’s irritation and maybe that’s for the best because his mother seems to help defuse the tension a lot.

“You’re right,” Phil says kindly to his mum, looking at her as if to say thank you when he does. She nods and the conversation moves swiftly onto something else.

A few minutes later, the waitress comes with some of the meals and then the rest so they all begin to tuck in eating and sharing casual small talk that doesn’t really hold any value. At some point, between getting the meal and Phil picking up his fork to begin eating, Dan grabs his hand under the table and intertwines their fingers.

And maybe, just maybe, Phil doesn’t hate the fact he doesn’t let go until they leave the restaurant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> look at me being on time and not even a day late at the update ;)
> 
> i hope u enjoy this chapter & the dumbassery of the boys! i'm currently snacking on a quorn ham sandwich and sipping on some tea, finalising the chapter for next week. i'm a few chapters ahead because that's all ive done the last few days because i hopefully go back to uni at the end of the month and i dont want to be stressing again week upon week..
> 
> i hope u are all having a lovely day :D sending u all good vibes <3


	8. Chapter 8

The walk back to the hotel is a walk in the park after walking down the stairway from the Acropolis, especially with a tummy full of good food. They basically sprint back to their hotel room and say goodbye to Phil’s family with ease.

When Phil locks the door behind them, and Dan walks into the hotel room properly, Phil can’t help but think about the day they just had. He thinks about the hand holding during the tour, the small comments here and there from his family and of course, he is thinking about the multiple kisses they had shared today, especially the one on the edge of the cliff.

He kind of wants to mention them, but in fear that bringing the kisses up may make things even more weird between them, he changes his mind and mentions something he equally wants to know the answer for but feels like is safer.

“Dan, what were you and my mum laughing about back at the Acropolis?”

“Huh?”

“When I was in the gift shop, I saw you.”

“Oh, nothing really,” Dan blushes, sitting on the edge of the bed that has been freshly made by the hotel maids whilst they were gone all day. Phil walks into the room properly and throws his phone, wallet etc on the table on the entryway.

“It doesn’t look like nothing,” Phil says teasingly with a smirk across his face, making his way to join Dan on the bed – stopping still a few yards before the bed. “You can tell me.”

“Your mum just made some comments that’s all.”

“About?” Phil pushes.

“I don’t want to say,” Dan chuckles awkwardly.

“You have to now you’re reacting like this!”

“I’d rather not,” Dan looks up, blush fully blaring across his face as he offers a teasing smile to Phil.

Phil gnaws on his inner cheek for a moment, lips twisting in all kinds of directions whilst he thinks about whether he is actually about to do this. When suddenly, he mutters the word _fine_ just loud enough for Dan to hear before surging forward to jump on Dan.

He pushes him down with one hand, pressing down on his shoulder, and grabs one of his hands with the other so Dan has limited attack abilities. He quickly straddles his waist, facing him with his head centimetres from Dan’s as he tries to wriggle free.

“Phil!” He yelps, squirming in between laughter. “You can’t be serious right now.”

“Tell me,” Phil laughs, with only a tiny bit of seriousness in his tone.

“Never!” Dan croaks out before squirming even more to create an unbelievably unstable surface for Phil to be on.

Neither of them can barely breathe with their laughter spiking into howls and short bursts of giggles as Dan desperately attempts to get his one arm free. Phil lets his hand stop pinning Dan down in order to jab in between his ribs and wiggle his finger playfully.

“No!” Dan says between laughter. “No,” Laugh. “Tickling,” Laugh. “That’s not,” Laugh. “Part of,” Laugh. “The rules.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t quite catch what you said,” Phil giggles as he presses his fingers further onto Dan’s ribcage and spreads them out, tickling him mercilessly.

“Stop it!”

“Tell me!”

“No but stop!”

“Stop what?” Phil purrs as he leans down to Dan’s earlobe to annoyingly breathe into it, knowing Dan hates it.

“You’re such a dick!” He screeches in response.

Before pulling away, Phil moves his head a tiny bit north to press his lips into Dan’s forehead and then when he pulls away, he tells himself he imagines the blush across Dan’s face. Or at the very least, it’s because of the exercise and/or playfight they just did.

Phil watches as Dan gets comfortable shuffling back against the headboard with his legs across the bed before he joins, in case Dan had other plans. Because of course, Phil would go wherever Dan was going to go.

“What do you want to do? Go downstairs with everyone in the bar for a few hours or?” Phil offers as he sits down on the bed, mirroring Dan’s position.

“Can we stay up here?” Dan bites his lip as he turns his head to ask and Phil wants to desperately pry that lip free. Lips that pretty shouldn’t be put under that much torture.

“Sure.”

“It’s just, I’m pretty exhausted and I just want to relax for the evening I think,” Dan continues, turning his head in front of him and sighing.

“Dan, I said it’s okay,” Phil says reassuringly, placing his hand on top of Dan’s that’s conveniently placed on the bed in between them both and running his thumb back and forth to create a soothing motion.

They decide to both get ready for bed so Phil heads to the bathroom to take his contacts out, allowing Dan to use the bedroom to get changed instead. He assumes that by the time he has taken his contacts out and washed his face, Dan will be more or less done.

Scrubbing his face he thinks about the day seriously again, more so what happened in the bed less than five minutes ago.

They were playfighting.

Playfighting and not even just that, Phil kissed Dan on his forehead.

Dan didn’t say anything against it but Phil mentally kicks himself as how easy he lets himself slip like that. No one is around so strictly speaking, they have nothing to prove around anyone. He definitely shouldn’t be kissing Dan right now, regardless of it being on the forehead.

Drying his face with one of the hand towels beside the sink, he deems himself done for the skin care routine tonight and heads back into the bedroom where he finds Dan just about fully dressed.

He reminds himself to take longer next time but he can’t be too bad at himself for being able to see the small sliver of tummy skin that he sees as Dan puts his shirt on. That’s why it takes him a minute to notice that isn’t one of Dan’s own shirts and instead, it’s the shirt that Phil wore on the flight here.

“That’s dirty?” Phil states as he walks into the room properly and begins to find his pyjamas to get changed himself.

“Yeah, sorry. I wanted something comforting and well,” Dan kills off the sentence and shrugs instead.

Phil gets a new shirt out of the suitcase and throws it to him gently, “Here. Take this one.”

“But this one is clean?”

“Yeah?” Phil looks at him and frowns. The way Dan sounded when he figured out the other shirt is clean sounded almost hurt and Phil doesn’t understand why.

Dan frowns too and looks frustrated in himself for a second and Phil’s about to open his mouth to ask a question when Dan looks just north of Phil’s eyes.

“I wanted it because it smells like you.”

“Oh.”

“Sorry that’s so weird but like I don’t know..” Dan begins backtracking and Phil feels guilty for making him feel weird about this whole situation because it isn’t weird. It’s just a shirt.

“It’s fine, pass me the fresh one and I’ll put it back.”

Dan throws it to Phil and Phil folds it back up to put in the suitcase properly for another day. He jumps up on his heels and spins around to head to the bathroom but is stopped by a cough coming from Dan’s direction.

When he raises his eyebrows in question, Dan gives him eye contact for a brief second before smiling shyly at the bathroom door.

“You don’t need to get changed in the bathroom every time, you know?” Dan laughs, almost like the nerves he had a few moments ago had gone.

Phil stutters out of a loss of what to do but settles on just quickly getting changed in the bedroom. He tugs his shorts off, which were easy enough because they weren’t tight fitting at all, and replaces them quickly with even looser pyjama shorts which were basically oversized boxer briefs.

He quickly unbuttons his shirt before putting the pyjama shirt over his head, careful to not accidentally gain eye contact with Dan whilst he is half naked. When he looks up from his pyjama shirt, obviously once it’s over his head and on his body, he notices Dan looking at him.

Dan’s eyes quickly dart away, embarrassed to be caught out, and Phil feels even more embarrassed than Dan does. He’s at a loss for a second, unknowing whether to comment on it, but he decides against it and heads towards Dan and the bed leaving his clothes on the ground where he threw them.

Phil gets onto the bed and under the covers like Dan is and it is awkward. Almost too awkward. So instead of again commenting on it, he bends down to the floor beside his side of the bed and gets his laptop.

Flipping open the lid, he turns on his laptop and doesn’t hesitate before opening Netflix.

“Do you want to watch anything?” He breaks the silent between them with some small talk, hoping this will ease them back into conversation.

“You pick,” Dan yawns, stretching out as if he is ready for bed. Phil thinks about asking Dan if he just would rather go to sleep instead of staying up and watching something on Netflix but he fears that will add more rigidity to the atmosphere around them so he chooses to ignore it.

“Okay.”

Phil scrolls down the Netflix homepage for a few beats before deciding on Doctor Who. He had recently began rewatching it after losing interest a few years ago, and is currently on the episodes he watched when he was in university. It’s the perfect amount of nostalgic and freshness for him.

The episode kicks in with the Tenth Doctor working as a teacher in a standard high school and his companion, Rose, working as a dinner lady and Phil begins to get comfortable and zones out of the world. He has always loved Doctor Who growing up, especially David Tennant’s Doctor because it reminds him of an easier time.

He shuffles slightly so the laptop moves in between their touched knees and Dan must take that as an invitation to shuffle closer, almost so he is cuddling up to Phil’s side. It confuses Phil for a moment but he mentally shrugs it off as Dan always being cuddle person and just lets it happen.

Further into the episode, when Rose and Sarah Jane Smith are forced to work together to figure out why the computers run the way they do and have a humorous argument about how has had the most experience traveling with the Doctor, the position that both Dan and Phil have found themselves in is very different. Instead of lowkey leaning into Phil’s personal space, Dan is instead tucked firmly into his side with a hand resting gently on Phil’s stomach.

By the end of the episode, Dan’s somehow made his way to Phil’s chest, with his head on top of Phil’s collarbone and the laptop is firmly on Phil’s lap. Phil isn’t sure how but his hand has somehow found Dan’s curly hair, gently tugging at the tight curls and ravelling them in between his fingers, but he can’t bring himself to care when he hears the quiet snores that Dan is making.

He knows this is a mistake. They shouldn’t be like this together, because as soon as this wedding and the holiday is over, they’ll be back to normal and it will hurt. A lot. Phil will be back to square one like he was in 2009 when they first met, but just then the episode credits finish and the room is only filled with the exhales and inhales of Dan’s sleepy breath and Phil decides somehow, deep down it is worth it.

~*~

When Phil wakes in the morning, Dan is still asleep. They’ve changed positions in the night, because Phil somehow places his laptop back down the side of the bed and gets comfortable himself. From Phil lying on his back with Dan wrapped around him like a koala would with a tree branch, to them both lying on their side with Dan’s chest pressing against Phil’s back and Dan’s arms around Phil’s torso.

Phil thinks he could stay here forever and decides instead of pulling himself free and leaving Dan asleep he lingers and basks in the comfort Dan is giving him. However, when Dan huffs out a breath and it spans across Phil’s neck, he decides he can’t cope and it’s time to get up.

He quickly gets ready in the bathroom and when he comes back out, Dan is still asleep. He looks peaceful so Phil doesn’t exactly what to disturb him. He knows just as much as the next person how grumbly Dan would be if that were to happen.

Padding his feet over to the entryway table, he grabs his phone from the night before and opens the camera app. He hesitates, because surely this is overstepping boundaries that the pair have between them. _Surely_ this definitely is too much and taking photos of the other is creepy and gross.

After a few silent seconds, Phil decides they’ve been friends long enough and Dan has more than enough weird and mugshot-esque photos on his camera roll to ruin Phil’s respect and reputation on the internet forever if he wanted to, what's a few on Phil’s phone?

He takes a few photos, quietly giggling when he bends down to get a better shot and notices the drool drippling down Dan’s chin, before standing back up and surveying the photoshoot he just took. They all look beautiful and it makes Phil angry for a fleeting second that Dan looks this pretty even in his sleep. Phil knows he isn’t that lucky.

He doesn’t think too much about it, because thinking about it too much will stop him from doing it, when he opens Instagram and adds one of these photos to his story with the caption, ‘sleeping beauty at it again’ and a small gif of a cute cartoon animal snoring in the corner. He presses post and puts his phone back in his pocket.

He doesn’t think it’s a bad idea. There’s nothing going on here, and the audience will love to see photos of Dan that he would find humiliating. Come to think of it, Phil realises that the audience doesn’t actually know they are on holiday in Greece at the moment and he cringes when he realises he has exposed them going away without meaning to. At least without Dan's consent.

Careful not to sit on Dan accidentally, he sits back onto the bed and opens up his Instagram again. He swipes up to see the photos and videos he had taken the day before, before posting some of the highlights to his story – making sure to not completely expose where they are or better yet the hotel.

The audience knowing they are in Athens is fine, he thinks to himself, but he doesn’t want them knowing exactly where in the city in fear they will be spotted.

After posting a few aesthetic photos of the Acropolis and some silly videos of he and Dan that he had taken, he moves onto Twitter to see any reactions of the content. He briefly looks down next to him to see if Dan is awake yet and when he notices he is dead to the world, he scrolls.

Some of the viewers are shocked they are on a holiday during this time of the year, because this is usually work time for them both. Others think they are up to something, doing a _pranking my audience into thinking I’m on holiday_ youtube video or something, which makes Phil huff out a laugh.

He notices some, a small minority definitely, of his audience are theorising about a “phan wedding” which makes him overthink far too much. What would their wedding be like? Would they even have a big wedding, because Phil isn’t too bothered? Would it be a destination wedding? Or would they just have it in a lowkey town hall near one of their hometowns?

Smiling at the answers to those questions, Phil finally feels Dan begin to stir beside him. He looks loss for a second once he opens his eyes but once he turns his head and spots Phil, he relaxes.

“What?” Dan closes his eyes again and stretches his arms above his head, making that adorable grumbly groan noise that people make when they have a good stretch in the morning.

“Good morning to you too,” Phil laughs, putting his phone down on the bedside table to give his complete attention to Dan.

“No, you have too wide of a smile for this to me morning, did I sleep until the night again? What have you done?”

“Nope, it’s just past nine in the morning,” Phil says simply.

“God,” Dan groans, shoving his head in the pillow as he does so. “What are the plans for today?”

“Well we have to be downstairs in half an hour for breakfast with the family.”

“I don’t wanna move,” Dan whines, tugging the duvet around his body in defence and thus dragging Phil closer to him. “Can’t we just order room service?”

“You planned this group breakfast.”

“This is why social me shouldn’t open her mouth, way too big for her boots.”

“Come on,” Phil stands up and throws the duvet to the bottom of the bed to get Dan up. The look this awards him off of Dan is definitely one for the books, that is if it gets to be memorised before Phil is murdered by his best friend.

~*~

Because Phil had already showered before Dan even woke up, it doesn’t take them that long to get ready. Phil just sits on his laptop, checking his emails and replying to a few important ones before heading to Twitter to tweet something about how hotel beds may be the best type of beds to ever sleep in. Something kind of quirky and funny to match his branding in some way.

Dan comes out of the bathroom fully dressed as usual but what Phil didn’t notice was that Dan took the shirt that he has offered Dan the night before and is wearing it. Once Dan picks up the clothes that Phil had left on the floor the night before and puts them in the evergrowing pile along with his dirty washing, he must notice Phil staring at him because a blush appears on his face as he looks away from Phil’s eye gaze.

“I couldn’t find any of my own shirts that would match the shorts,” Dan says simply enough which usually would pass as a suitable answer in Phil’s lack of fashion sense brain, but when he looks down at Dan’s short and only sees plain black denim shorts, he doesn’t necessarily buy it.

No matter how much style Phil in fact lacks when it comes to matching colours and clothes together, he knows practically anything goes with black denim.

“You can keep it, it looks good on you,” Phil says instead.

“Really?” Dan smiles, tugging at the hem of the shirt to push it down his body more. Not that it needs any adjustment, it’s probably just a nervous tic. “Thank you.”

It’s Phil’s turn to act flustered and look away at the sincerity of the genuine thanks. He doesn’t know where the compliment comes from, because they don’t usually give each other compliments but he quickly shrugs it off, grabbing his phone from where he put it on charge earlier and heads downstairs for breakfast with Dan and his family.

Turns out, everyone else is already waiting for them by the time they come downstairs into the bar room. However, Phil checks the time on his watch and notices they are only five minutes late to their plans so he doesn’t feel all too guilty about it.

Quickly taking their seats in the only two free seats on the table, both of them opposite each other like proper couples sit – not like how Dan and Phil usually sit, squished into a space big enough for a small child and calling that comfortable. This new way of sitting feels oddly romantic and different for Phil, but asking for change is out of the question with his family thinking they are actually romantic with one another.

“Good morning boys,” Cornelia smiles at them as Dan takes his seat next to her and everyone else exchanges small well wishes of good mornings and I hope you are well’s.

“Sorry we took so long,” Dan offers with a smile tugging across his face, dimples on show and all.

“Nonsense! That’s what couples are like sometimes,” Cornelia laughs. “Having to share a bathroom between two people isn’t always clean sailing. That’s why Martyn isn’t here yet.”

“You ran to the bathroom first?” Dan laughs.

“You guessed it!”

The group decide to all go for the all you can eat breakfast buffet so they go up in halves to get their food, Dan going up with Cornelia and Phil’s father and Phil and his mum wait at the table, waiting for Martyn to join them to go up together afterwards.

“How are things with you two?” His mum asks as soon as everyone, especially Dan is out of ear shot. She has a questioning tone through her voice and an even more intense serious frown spreading across her face.

“What do you mean?”

“You don’t think that a mother can’t tell when things are a little rocky between her son and their partner?”

Phil is certain his heart drops to the pit of his stomach at this statement. Surely his mother hasn’t clocked on that this is all a lie? He knows he is bad at lying to his parents usually, but he thinks they’ve been pretty successful so far this week. Maybe he doubted his mother’s ability to know him through and through too much.

“Oh yeah, it’s just stressful being loud about our relationship now, I guess? It’s new,” Phil feigns nonchalance, because maybe he can get out of this acting like he isn’t sure what she means.

“I thought so, but everyone loves you here Dibs and I’m sure everyone is happy you’re together.”

“You think?” He looks up at this, properly looking into her eyes as he asks her the question. He knows everyone in his family and close knit friends circle love and adore Dan but surely not this much.

“I know so,” She says in a soothing tone, the one she reserved when Phil was a small child when he was nervous for things, such as his first day at high school or when he was moving away for university and he got a bit nervous about being away from home. She reaches for her hand then. “Even Joshua and the boys were saying last night.”

“You spoke to them?”

“Of course! They wanted to know if you kept you two a secret from us too,” She chuckles, looking back over to where the rest of the group are standing. Phil follows her eyesight too, mainly because he hears Dan’s quiet laughter from the other side of the room and his head immediately searches for it. His mother must notice that because when he turns his head back to face her, all he can see is fondness.

“What did they say?” He takes his hand out of his mother’s now, not really needing the comfort all that desperately.

“They were confused but I think when it was explained to them, your job and all, they understood the nerves.”

“I’m glad.”

“And I’m just glad you feel you can tell us now, Dibs,” She sighs, leaning back in her chair but not taking her eyes off of her son.

Almost like he plans it, Martyn comes walking into the barroom in a pair of grey sweatpants and a plain black tee – something Phil wishes he could pull off but he knows he isn’t a grey sweatpants type of guy.

Martyn walks towards the table with a smile on his face, with dimples that Phil wishes he also gained from his mother.

“Where’s Corn?”

“At the buffet, we’re holding the table until they get back,” Phil says, tilting his head over to behind Martyn and Martyn turns around to look.

“Sweet,” Martyn sits down, seemingly comforting with knowing his girlfriend is in the room where she said she would be.

Eventually the rest of the group come back with their breakfasts and Dan returns in his rightful place in front of Phil. Phil doesn’t always come across as an overly needy person but recently, especially on this holiday, he’s felt the need to want to be attached to Dan’s hip almost.

“You managed to find your way through my brother’s wardrobe,” Martyn points out with a small chuckle as Dan sits down at the table.

“What?” Dan looks confused for a second before he looks down and blushes. “I couldn’t find my own clothes this morning.”

Martyn hums like he doesn’t believe it and Phil almost feels embarrassed like they’ve been caught out doing something. But they aren’t together, so they definitely haven’t been doing whatever Martyn’s dirty mind thinks they have been doing.

Dan doesn’t feel too phased by it because he tucks into his breakfast without a seconds thought.

“Babe, Cornelia was just asking us about our wedding plans?”

The pet name throws him off for a second, almost looking around the room to see who the hell Dan is talking to but he catches himself and he doesn’t think anyone notices luckily.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, she wanted to know if we had set a date?” Phil can hear the sudden nerves in Dan’s voice and Phil knows why. They haven’t spoke about this yet. They came to the conclusion, by Phil’s own fault, that they were recently engaged and had been dating for most of the time they had known each other. They didn’t talk about dates or anything of the sort, hence why Dan is so on edge.

Phil looks at Cornelia who is smiling wide at him.

“We haven’t yet?”

“Oh?” Cornelia says, not disappointed but the excitement as definitely worn off her tone.

“I think we’re just going to stay engaged for a little while, enjoy the engagement period,” Phil says casually.

“Yeah, I don’t think marriage is immediately on our cards but at the same time, I don’t want to put off marrying this one,” Dan smirks, tilting his head to Phil as Phil stands up.

“Yeah, he’s a gem that one.”

“You’re right there,” Dan replies but doesn’t take his eyes off of Phil. There’s a fond smile creeping across his lips that Phil can’t quite place.

Phil stands up, deciding that he can’t stomach more of the fond looks Dan is giving him so he goes to the buffet to grab his breakfast. He piles his plate up a respectable amount with scrambled eggs on top of fetoydia, which he isn’t sure goes but he knows he likes it so that’s enough.

He unashamedly gets another small plate to place some grapes and watermelon so he can at least excuse himself as being healthy.

He returns to the table after everyone else and quietly starts eating, keeping to himself, as they all engage in conversation.

“What’s on the cards today?” Martyn asks conversationally, loud enough for Phil to stop eating and perk his ears up.

“Well I was thinking maybe me and Phil were going t-“

“Phil and I,” Phil playfully corrects, which earns him a gentle kick under the table.

Dan leaves his foot wrapped around Phil’s leg, almost stroking his calf with his foot. This is how Phil knows to shut up.

“I was thinking _Phil and I_ would maybe stay in our hotel room today,” Dan continues.

“Yeah?” Phil frowns out of confusion.

“I’m just so exhausted from the walking yesterday I think,” Dan adds. “But of course, you can go with your family if you want? I wont keep you?”

“No, I’m a bit sleepy. I could do with a nap.”

“Right, well that’s sorted then,” Cornelia nods.

“Yeah piss off and go and have your _alone time_ ,” Martyn smirks. “Just don’t tell us any of the gorey details.”

That earns a smack on the arm from Phil because that’s all he can do in this situation. His cheeks red as cartoon mushrooms at the assumption because obviously that’s not whats going to happen. He does wonder what Dan wants to do in their hotel room though.

“I don’t want to know!” His mum plugs her ears as a joke. “But we’ll see you later boys?”

Dan and Phil both get up from the table, almost in sync and say their goodbyes before Dan grabs Phil’s hand and leads him up to their bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hii everyone!! hope you've had a good week?
> 
> just letting u know there probably wont be an update next week. my girlfriend is visiting tomorrow and ill probably be really busy and will forget. that being said, i may probably still update because ill find some time thursday to just quickly post :) just letting u know just in case i dont! <3


	9. Chapter 9

Dan drops his wallet and the hotel room key on the entryway table and walks towards the bed, all whilst still holding Phil’s hand. He stops just before the bottom of the bed, allowing Phil to let go and walk to his side of the bed but Phil doesn’t want to exactly let go.

Instead, he leans forward in the albeit small gap between them and presses his lips to Dan’s forehead. He doesn’t want to linger but he does, making sure all of his emotions convey through the small forehead kiss he is giving.

He knows he shouldn’t because no one is here but he can’t help himself. He’ll blame it on something if Dan questions him.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to do that,” Phil stutters as he pulls away but not completely so they are still close enough to feel the gentle fan of their breath across their cheeks.

“Hey,” Dan says softly. “It’s okay.”

“No one is here and we don’t really need to practise forehead kissing, I just got caught up in it I think,” Phil continues, obviously ignoring anything Dan has to say.

He really does try to pay attention to any words that Dan has to say after he finishes talking, but he doesn’t get to hear a reply because there isn’t one. There’s no verbal reply.

Dan once again closes the gap between them and softly places his lips on the top of Phil’s jaw, besides his ear. Phil feels the tingles radiate through his entire body when Dan moves away for a brief second and a fan of air breezes past his ear, he tries not to let it show but he’s sure the shudder is obvious from out of space.

Dan moves south, peppering small but gentle kisses along Phil’s jawline, stopping when he gets to his chin. He pulls away just enough to look at Phil in the eyes and Phil curses himself for wanting to elan back in and kiss Dan properly. Of course, he doesn’t though.

“It doesn’t matter. We’re even now.”

“Right,” Phil breathes out, watching as Dan separates them both and makes his way to his side of their bed. _Their_ bed.

Phil eventually shakes himself out of the daze he has found himself in and mirrors Dan on his own side, pulling his shoes off of his feet and places them down the side of the bed for later because lying down properly.

He rests his head on the pillow and turns to fast Dan who is now idly scrolling through his phone in front of him.

Suddenly feeling really tired, Phil just closes his eyes for a second. Maybe two seconds. He can’t really tell.

He can hear the faint rustling of the sheets and he wonders why but then he vaguely feels a hand come into his own, intertwining and linking their fingers and keeping them clasped. Phil hums lowly, a response he can only really just about muster up and he knows Dan hears it because of the squeeze of their linked hands.

There’s a moment when Phil swears he’s fallen asleep. He doesn’t feel anything but the pressure in his left hand from where Dan’s right hand is and everything is so peaceful.

This doesn’t last, however, when Dan’s hand gets pulled out of his own and he is jolted awake by a loud screech coming from next to him.

“Phil!”

“What?” Phil mumbles, slipping out of his sleep that he was all so close to.

“I can’t believe you posted that photo of me!” Dan squeals. “I look horrible! And it’s been up for over two hours everyone has already seen it!”

“You look cute,” Phil says simply and shrugs, albeit rather aggressively but he is dozing off. His half asleep daze taking a control over what comes out of his mouth and struggles to allow him to think before he speaks.

“You can’t say things like that,” Dan whispers.

“Why not?” Phil asks, because he thinks it’s funny that Dan is seemingly bothered by Phil calling him cute but he doesn’t bat an eyelid at repeatedly leaving chaste kisses on Phil’s face

Dan doesn’t reply and instead locks his phone and lies down to mirror Phil’s position. They look at each other

“Go to sleep, Philly. I’ll wake you up if you stay asleep too late.”

Phil just nods and closes his eyes, not really thinking about the fact Dan didn’t imply he had no intent to sleep.

~*~

A few hours later, Phil wakes up. He peels his eyes open reluctantly and curses himself for keeping his contacts in whilst he took a nap. His eyes are sore and he knows he’s going to have to wear his glasses for the rest of the day now. He doesn’t hate the idea but he knows he looks better without them on then he does in them.

He allows his eyes to get used to the early afternoon sunlight that’s peeking into the room through the curtains that they decided to close the night before in order to be cosy. He basks in the heat that’s surrounding him, because it’s almost summer in Greece, of course, it’s going to be hot.

It’s when he shuffles to get more comfortable that he notices exactly why it’s so warm. It’s taken him a few seconds to work out where they are and why he feels so warm but when he looks down – for some odd reason that didn’t occur to him before now but then again, there’s never really a reason to check to see if you still have your body – he sees Dan lying across his chest fast asleep.

His heart warms at the sight, a small butterfly feeling spreading throughout his entire being, before it quickly gets replaced with anxiety. It’s not the first time that he and Dan have woken up cuddling on this holiday but it’s the first time he hasn’t wanted to instantly pull away, and that scares him.

Almost like Dan senses it, his fingers twitch and he groans quietly, mumbling in his sleep about not wanting to be up yet. Phil can’t look away when Dan’s face contorts into a frown and then a smile when he realises where he is, before opening his eyes to find Phil’s.

“Good morning,” He whispers, the still aftereffects of sleep wearing on his tone.

“It’s the afternoon,” Phil informs, giggling quietly when Dan’s only response to that is to scoot closer into Phil’s body and grumbles about Phil being ungrateful.

He can hear Dan’s soft and gentle breathing and the rise and fall of his chest against Phil’s side. He can feel the repeated heartbeat of both of them, Dan’s rhythmic and silent but his own seemingly falling out of an erratic pace.

It’s another few minutes of quiet before Dan speaks, and when he does it’s gentle and warm – exactly like Dan.

“You slept in your contacts, your eyes are going to be sore.”

“They are,” Phil replies.

“Go put your glasses on then,” Dan says but his actions say opposite when he wraps his arm that’s around Phil’s torso even tighter around him.

“Maybe, not yet.”

“Not yet.”

Eventually, Phil does roll out of bed, supplying a groan from Dan about how Phil is a spoil sport. All Phil wants to do is comment on how they shouldn’t be cuddling anyway because they are _friends_ and friends don’t do that but instead, he makes his way over to the bathroom to take his contacts out and replaces them with his glasses.

When he returns into the bedroom, he looks at Dan who immediately catches his gaze and looks back at him. Dan has this smile on his face, the one laced with fondness and adoration. A smile that Phil has grown to know all too well over the years and has maybe seen more times on this holiday than he has seen added up over every year he has known him.

“You look better in glasses.”

“Yeah?”

“I think so,” Dan smiles again and it is the type of smile that Phil can’t argue with.

He walks back to the bed, sitting on the edge as he looks through his travel bag to get his laptop out again before resting on the bed properly. It isn’t long before Dan scoots closer, not completely touching but enough for Phil to know his presence is there.

“What time is it?”

“Just after 4,” Phil looks down to the time on his laptop, narrowing his eyes to see properly. Even though he has his glasses on, his eyesight still isn’t perfect with them.

“And we slept for like six hours?”

“Yeah,” Phil chuckles.

“God,” Dan groans, pushing himself closer to Phil’s torso, not that Phil really minds. “And what are the plans for the evening?”

“There’s a gathering downstairs that we should probably go to. It’s everyone who’s going to be at the wedding.”

“Okay.”

“But we don’t have to go,” Phil continues, turning his head to gauge Dan’s reaction to the plans. He’s surprised when he sees nothing other than a relaxed, gentle smile.

“No, I want to go. I want to show off my man.”

Phil chuckles and presses play on the following episode of Doctor Who which happens to be one around the topic of love, and how it never always works out in a person’s favour. Phil shrugs that off instead of thinking too deeply about it, because he definitely doesn’t love Dan and Dan doesn’t need to know if that’s a lie or not.

~*~

Standing in front of the mirror, Phil feels so out of place. He’s dressed in black slacks, kind of on the skinny side, with a plain white button up tucked into the trousers all the way around. He also is sporting a sleek black tie around his neck.

It’s not him. But it’s also equal parts him.

It just doesn’t feel perfect.

Dan comes in the frame behind him, messing around by his bedside table and putting some things in his trouser pocket, and suddenly something clicks that that’s the complete picture.

Almost sensing him looking at him, Dan’s head shoots up and meets Phil’s eyes in the mirror before padding his feet over to directly behind Phil.

“I’m so glad that you are my soon to be fake husband,” Dan whispers before leaning forward and placing a kiss on Phil’s jaw, completely missing how Phil leans into the kiss, and laces his hand to drag him out the door.

The party is as expected. Everyone else dressed to the nines and Dan and Phil feeling incredibly out of place, they have never been the type to enjoy getting pissed and partying the night away with a massive group of people. They’d much rather have a bottle of wine in the flat with a handful of friends. However, there’s a free bar and an open buffet to make up for it and suddenly they don’t feel as uncomfortable anymore.

Four or five glasses in of the complimentary wine apiece and the party is in full swing and Phil decides that he doesn’t hate it as much. He actually separates himself from Dan for a little while as he notices some old high school friends that he hasn’t spoken to since exactly then.

“Mate, I’ve never seen you like this before,” one of them shouts above the music, leaning into his ear to make sure Phil hears her properly.

“You’ve properly swooned for him, it’s sweet,” the other smiles into her drink as Phil tries not to blush back.

“Thanks.”

“Hopefully I can find someone who loves me as much as Phil loves Dan,” the first one chuckles before changing the subject to some random piece of gossip that Phil doesn’t really care about.

That’s when it hits him.

 _Love_.

He loves Dan. That’s why they work so well, because Phil gives his complete self to Dan. They never needed anyone else in the equation because there’s enough love to go around, to satisfy them both without needing to find anything from dates, romance and what have you. He could pass it off as the type of love that is strictly platonic but even he knows, he isn't going to buy that.

Almost on instinct, Phil’s eyes meet Dan’s over the other side of the room. Dan’s sat with the bride and her friends and whilst he doesn’t look completely out of place, he doesn’t look like he wants to be there either. And the shy grin and the quick roll of his eyes when he notices Phil looking at him definitely prove that.

“Are you okay?” Phil mouths over to him, kind of exaggerated and he knows if they were both sober, Dan would make fun of him for just how much his mouth moved to accommodate those words. Instead, Dan offers a little giggle and a thumbs up, and all Phil can think about is how he would much rather be over that side of the room with Dan, to hear that laugh. He’s heard it enough over the years for it to echo in his head softly when Dan opens his mouth but it’s a sound he can’t get enough of.

Dan seems to turn away at that point, listening in to the conversation that Billie and their friends were having before Phil interrupted.

He feels like he’s in one of those dumb romantic comedies that Dan always forces him to watch when they are at home, all cosied up on the sofa with a blanket draped over them. He feels like that because it’s the almost perfect trope of admiring someone from across the bar, and them not knowing you exist.

Except, Dan does know that Phil exists. He definitely does and when Dan turns around briefly and Phil catches his eyes, offering a shy smile with those dimples and pearly white teeth, Phil feels that exact little flutter that those dumb romantic comedies talk about.

Shaking his head and looking away, in fear of not wanting to be a creepy stalker and make Dan uncomfortable, he notices his drink is empty. Not that he drinks much these days, but right now he could do with another so he says goodbye to the table as politely as his tipsy self can do and gets up.

When Phil gets up, he takes around five strides before he trips over his feet, not for the first time this night. His black dress shoes squeak against the floorboards which makes him cringe but he ignores it because he’s pretty sure he can only hear it. After all, it’s his _own_ feet and no one else can over the pounding music and the loud conversations.

He makes his way to the bar, sitting or more so falling onto the bar seat to wait to order. He knows he shouldn’t drink anymore, his walk over here proves it enough but he shrugs it off and waits for the barman to come and collect his order.

“What can I get you?”

“Malibu and lemonade, please?”

The barman nods politely before walking away to prepare his drink. Phil allows himself to lean up against sticky bar top with one of his arms. He turns his entire body around to look for Dan, as he always does in these situations, finding him laughing with Billie in the same place he was when he last looked.

He wishes he could kind of get Dan’s attention somehow, so they could have one of their wordless conversations about wanting to get back home together, home being the hotel room, but it doesn’t work and Phil finds himself sighing as he throws him forward towards the bar again.

When he turns back, there’s another man at the bar waiting to be served. Objectively attractive, and not blinded by the alcohol in his system attractive, like genuinely attractive. He’s no Dan, Phil finds himself thinking and laughs to himself at the thought.

“Are you okay?” The guy shouts over the music, leaning into Phil as he speaks. To anyone, this would be uncomfortable, but Phil feels pretty safe here and he knows the guy is only leaning this close because of the music. He wants Phil to hear him.

“Sorry, I was just laughing at a thought I had,” Phil laughs awkwardly, looking at the man apologetically as he does so. The lighting in the bar must have changed because Phil can see the man a lot clearer now. He has bright green eyes and dark brown hair, with a flicker of bleach blonde in the fringe.

“I hope it wasn’t a thought about me?” The guy laughs back with him, making no attempt to move back into his seat to give Phil his personal space back.

“Definitely not,” Phil shrugs.

“I would ask if you wanted a drink, but you’re waiting at the bar so I assume you’re good?”

“Just ordered one,” Phil quips, just in time for the bartender to make his appearance again, placing his Malibu and lemonade on the sticky bar and nodding politely at the guy next to Phil to order.

“Well let me know,” He smiles widely, before turning away to order his own drink.

Phil mumbles something along the lines of _sure, I will do_ and gets up off his bar seat to turn into the room again. He eyes the room to find Dan staring at him, with a look on his face that Phil couldn’t quite place.

He offers a smile and when the smile he gets back is a little clipped, he walks over to Dan. His friends who he was meant to be having a catch up, back on the table on the other side of the room, with are long forgotten about.

“Who was that guy?” Dan asks when Phil is in earshot of him.

Phil sits down next to him, Dan having shuffled up involuntarily to make room for him.

“Uh?”

“At the bar, Phil?” Dan snides, pointing with his head to show Phil where he means.

“Oh?” Phil shrugs, but when that isn’t enough he opens his mouth to mutter something else that comes from his head. “I don’t know. He just started talking to me.”

“Okay,” Dan says calmly, reaching over to grab Phil’s hand with his own, squeezing tightly.

~*~

The rest of the party feels a little bit off. This was, until Dan and Phil both escape to their hotel room. Phil knows that they were meant to be playing the fake boyfriend roles, but he can’t help but feel like one of them was playing it far too much. Maybe if Phil wasn’t as drunk as he was, he would have pointed it out.

But he wasn’t exactly complaining. Drunk him knows all too well not to complain when he gets attention from Dan, but sober him will regret it in the morning. Especially with the fact that they had kissed in the barroom more times than they have done the entire holiday so far.

Phil could have used the excuse that they were trying to be what boyfriends would be at a party whilst drunk, but even he knows in his state that absolutely no one was looking and if they were, they believed them anyway without the need for the possessive touches and kisses.

Back in the hotel room, things are at a different pace. Dan is awfully quiet and distant. Phil almost comments on it whilst they are getting changed for bed but Dan beats him to it.

“Can’t believe that guy was flirting with you tonight,” Dan huffs, pulling his tie loose as he does so. Almost like it was choking him and he has a desperate need for air.

“What?”

“How rude of him, I should have said something.”

“No guy was flirting with me, Dan?” Phil frowns, unbuckling the belt of his trousers and allowing his trousers to drop. Normally this would make Phil blush, getting changed in front of Dan but the alcohol running through his system was enough to not think too much.

Phil catches Dan’s eyes search down his body as the trousers drop but that’s quickly forgotten by the roll of Dan’s eyes and the raising of his voice.

“At the bar, are you blind Phil?”

“A little bit yeah,” Phil tries to make a joke but Dan doesn’t buy it. “Why would you say something?”

“You’re my boyfriend Phil, obviously I’m going to be mad.”

“But we’re not actually dating?” It’s Phil’s turn to raise his voice, only slightly because he doesn’t actually know why they are arguing. Maybe the alcohol is lowering his ability to think thoroughly but he doesn’t think anything is wrong with the evening, in fact, he thought the evening went rather well other than the last hour or so.

“Y-yeah, but if I’m not mad, people would question it.”

“No one is here, Dan?” Phil makes an extra attempt to drive that point home to Dan by reaching his arms out either side of him and turning around to look behind him. He looks back at Dan with raised eyebrows but Dan doesn’t meet him.

“Yeah but downstairs they were,” Dan says quietly, a gentle hint that Phil has won the ‘argument’ if that’s what they were having. But Phil is drunk and he doesn’t quite understand why this is happening.

“So you aren’t really mad now?” Phil pushes, watching as Dan fails to meet his eyes again and turns around to fold his clothes that were once on his body into his suitcase. Phil almost wants to point out that he should put the dirty clothes in the corner, and not in their suitcase, but he just wants to sleep.

“Of course not!”

“Just checking.”

Phil feels the tension in the room, regardless of how drunk they both are, he knows it’s here. He ignores it when he heads to the bathroom to prepare for bed and once he returns into the bedroom, the lights are off and he can see the faint outline of Dan’s body under the covers.

He hesitates silently, wondering if he should join Dan in bed but after a few seconds overthinking he realises that he is stupid and gets into bed, closing his eyes and ignoring any remaining tension between them both.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiiii everyone :D i hope you're all well. im posting this chapter after watching dan talk on the united nations conference so im in a good mood <3 if you didn't manage to watch it live it's [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fP0vV2TsejM&feature=youtu.be&ab_channel=UnitedNations) have fun knock yourself out <3
> 
> im starting university again for my third and final year of my undergrad next week so uploads may be a lil wild for the time being. i will try to post once a week but maybe a few weeks it may be on the weekend rather than thursday. i say this, but maybe all will be fine because i am online learning so i may have the same amount of time to write!!! 
> 
> i hope ur having a good day and thank u for reading. it really means a lot to me, every kudos and comment makes me feel a lil :D inside


	10. Chapter 10

The awkward tension remains and lingers when they both wake up the next morning. Dan doesn’t really say anything other than mumbling _good morning_ before heading into the bathroom to get ready for the morning.

It is not uncommon that the lack of exchanging words is in the air on mornings, back home they usually quietly eat a breakfast of whatever cereal Dan has brought for himself and little words come between them until they have been up for a few hours. Maybe a word or two about what channel they will put on whilst they eat, but nothing more.

Phil, instead of complaining about Dan going in the shower first knowing that he spends far too long in there, decides to just let it go in fear of starting another argument and prepares what he can in the bedroom instead.

He stands up, padding his way over to the wardrobe to grab his clothes for today, trying desperately to ignore the pounding headache behind his eyes that forces him to squint as he picks out the light blue denim shorts and a plain black tshirt that hangs a little too tightly on his stomach.

It groans at the thought, almost as if his stomach is screaming in protest but Phil turns around and his eyes land on the pile of dirty laundry that they have in the corner of their room. It’s embarrassing really that two grown men aren’t better at keeping that tidy, but where do you exactly put dirty clothes? You wouldn’t possibly want them anywhere near your clean and fresh clothes.

But his eyes land on probably Dan’s most well known shirt between their fanbase and just looking at it, his stomach seems to quell in his groaning. Maybe he shouldn’t wear it, because Dan has worn it already once this holiday and if they take pictures today, which they probably plan to, people would know. That aside, people would definitely know Phil is wearing something of Dan’s and that would completely aid the Dan and Phil gay and in love theories.

Of course, they are only half true.

Phil decides not to think too much about it anymore and takes the shirt off of the pile, tugging the striped material over his head before his brain tells him to stop.

He has a couple of minutes to spare, changing his boxer briefs and putting the denim shorts on just before the bathroom door opens and Phil is greeted with Dan’s presence again. Phil hates to think that he missed him, even though it was less than thirty minutes in between them waking up and now.

Phil can’t help but confirm those thoughts when he takes in Dan’s appearance and all he sees is a towel loosely wrapped around Dan’s midriff.

“You’re wearing my shirt?” is the first thing that comes out of Dan’s mouth and Phil isn’t really surprised. It’s not like Phil owns any oversized striped shirts.

“Yeah, is that okay?”

“Uh,” Dan frowns, looking off to the ground as if he is deep in thought. “Yeah, that’s fine.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, I was just going to wear it myself today,” Dan chuckles, a smile spreading across his face momentarily but as he runs his hand through his hair, a nervous tick that Phil knows all too well, the smile dissipates and turns into a straight face that Phil likes significantly less.

“I can take it off?” Phil begins to ask but is cut off by a bark of laughter coming from across the room, the smile returning but not as widely as before. The twinkle is there but not nearly as much as Phil has seen it. Still, he can’t help the smile that spreads across his face

“No, please don’t. Or do, I don’t mind,” Dan smirks, finally moving from his space, almost like he was glued to the floor just outside the bathroom door. The smirk doesn’t leave his face when he stands in front of the wardrobe to get clothes for the day ahead.

“You’re disgusting,” Phil groans in response, realising what Dan had said after the effects of his smirk allow him to think properly again.

“You offered to get undressed and naked for me.”

“Not naked!”

“Sure,” Dan giggles, pulling a plain black shirt out of his side of the wardrobe and tugging it over his head. It takes Phil a second to realise that if he hadn’t had that stroke of bravery five minutes ago, they may have been matching today.

Obviously, it is just a plain black shirt but Phil is allowed to wonder how cliché and cute that would be if they did. Obviously. Because they are fake engaged, that’s what couples do sometimes.

“I’ll just get changed and then we will head out, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Phil mutters as he watches Dan walk back into the bathroom with boxers and shorts in his hand.

~*~

Heading out and seeing the day ahead proves to be more of a task than Phil thought, waiting another half an hour for Dan to be ready to leave the hotel. Phil whines about it but Dan argues that not everyone is naturally beautiful and Dan requires time. Phil doesn’t know what to say to that.

They decide on visiting the Altar of Aphrodite Urania, just north of the Partenon from a couple of days before. The short train journey isn’t too much of an issue for them but the heat is particularly warm today and Phil doesn’t fare well in the blaring sun.

“Okay, it’s ridiculously warm and that’s awful,” Dan says, looking up at the sun with a frown momentarily before smiling back at Phil. Phil doesn’t miss the way Dan’s eyes flutter down to their intertwined fingers before Dan looks back at his face. He holds a steady gaze then, just with a shy smile.

“Yeah,” Phil butts in, sighing as he finishes his word.

He hates how unfit he is, because walking from the train station to the altar has broken him out into a ring of sweat and a lack of breath. He knows that if they did this walk back in London, he still wouldn’t be successful in the activity but he would have coped a damn sight better.

“ _But_ , look. It serves you well,” Dan continues, stopping them in their tracks in front of the entrance of the altar and Phil feels the pad of Dan’s finger stroking along the harshness of his cheekbone just below his eye. “Your freckles are coming out to play because of the sun.”

“Yeah,” Phil says, huffing out the nerves in his throat because his heart simply can’t stop thumping out of his chest and he desperately needs to find a distraction. “But I just burn afterwards. It’s not so pretty.”

“Well, I think it’s cute,” Dan replies simply, as if it’s a matter of fact and it’s simple enough to state so. “And besides, you do look like you need the sun. You’ll thank me for the vitamin D later.”

“I’m the one who invited you here,” Phil says, albeit too loudly for the type of conversation they were having with all sorts of people milling around.

“Right,” Dan laughs, dropping his hand with a wide smile, teeth and all. Phil doesn’t even dare honour the thought that Dan had his hand on his cheek for far longer than necessary, or even at all. “And what was that for?”

“Shut up,” Phil snaps, but not meaning to be aggressive, as he begins to walk towards the altar again to ignore Dan’s question.

“No, tell me,” Dan stills Phil again from walking any further and his eyes roam across his face as if the answer is already plastered across his face in deep black sharpie pen.

“I needed you,” Phil whispers in response.

“You need me for what, Philly?”

The nickname is enough for Phil to break out into a smile _and_ roll his eyes groaning. It’s a little trick that Phil knows Dan knows in order to get his own way. And it works every time.

“I need you to pretend to be my fiancé because I’m a dumbass who couldn’t admit to my friends that they got it wrong.”

“Interesting,” Dan says simply before leaning forward and pressing his lips onto Phil’s gently. Phil’s eyes flutter shut for longer than strictly necessary and he knows that. He has no excuse for it other than his own stupidity for potentially falling in love with his best friend.

“Actually, you do look a little red. Maybe the sun is too much for you,” Dan says as he pulls away properly.

“Shut up,” Phil laughs, pushing across Dan’s side with their joined hands. He feels his face reddening out of embarrassment for being caught out.

Getting into the building site for the altar is far more easier than getting the tour for the Acropolis a few days ago. Of course, the group is a lot smaller and maybe that has something to do with it but Phil isn’t one to really question the lack of queueing in these places.

He loves museums and visiting historical heritage sites and even his minor distaste for queueing (regardless of how apparently all English people according to any other country have an obsession with it) doesn’t stop him from having a taste of history whenever he is on holiday.

Phil could not remember a time that he had not been _that_ person who was obsessed with museums and things of the same nature. He knew he wasn’t the type of person to go into a career down that path, but he enjoyed it enough as a hobby all the same. All of the knowledge laid out in front of him, giving him enough general information that aids him in whatever situation he finds himself in need to know what age an Ancient Greek general died or when the internet was invented.

He’d learnt so much about so many different things and he couldn’t get enough, especially being in a place that was definitely a first hand place to get historical knowledge.

Looking up at the remaining ruins on the site as Dan is off in another queue to book them in for the tour guide experience, he realises just how lucky he is to be here. In Greece, particularly Athens with people he holds dearly to his heart. Not just any people, his close family and friends. Dan especially.

Before he has too long to dwell on the exterior of the altar, Dan returns with a spring in his step and a wide smile across his face. Phil can’t help but match it.

“The gods must be on our side this holiday because we’ve been able to book just in for the next tour in five minutes.”

“Pretty sure you can’t say that on sacred ground,” Phil rolls his eyes but follows anyway as Dan drags him to the area where an incredibly tall person, taller than Dan and Phil which is rare, is waving a sign and shouting that the tour is about to begin.

“Hi everyone! The altar you are looking up at right now is dedicated to the Greek goddess Aphrodite. Does anyone know what Aphrodite was the supposedly the goddess of?” The tour guide says as soon as everyone comes to a standstill around them.

There’s a mumble of answers. A lot of giggles from the younger people (and Dan) when this question is asked, and it ashamedly stops Phil from answering the question. His sociability is getting a lot better nowadays after a couple of world tours and meeting hundreds and thousands of their audience but sometimes he gets a little thrown off.

“Right, random lady in the front, she was the known goddess of love and sexuality. All that lovely stuff,” the tour guide exclaims, hands wide out reaching the air on either side of them. “She’s also known as Venus, in Roman mythology. You probably all know her from the classic quote _women are from Venus, men are from Mars_.”

Yet again, the conclusion of the tour guides little speech is met with a mumble of speech and a few nods of the head. Obviously, most people who have access to romantic comedies have heard of that book, because it’s _always_ involved in one way or another.

“Did you know Mars in Roman religion is Ares in Greek, they were in love and that’s why the quote makes sense,” Phil whispers, leaning into Dan absentmindedly as he does so. This isn’t anything new. They are always a little too close for comfort with each other, more than two completely platonic bros would be with one another. It’s just the way it is.

“How heteronormative of them,” Dan scoffs jokingly, earning himself a few turns of the heads and nudge from Phil for being so loud.

“This altar in particular is dedicated to her epithet which is Urania which was used to separate her actual physical body from her spirit. A lot of Greeks, including Plato, represented her as a daughter of the Greek god Uranus, hence her epithet.”

The tour guide allows people a few minutes to take in the exterior of the altar, which Dan complains isn’t strictly necessary because people have had ‘god knows how long to look at the exterior whilst waiting for the tour to begin’ but Phil disagrees, because he thinks he can spend hours staring at the white stone walls and still be in awe, his eyes wide and jaw dropping completely. It is simply beautiful.

Once those minutes are over, Dan and Phil follow the tour guide in along with the rest of the group and if Phil thought the exterior was beautiful, he is immediately shellshocked at how pretty and remarkable the interior is.

The one wall is filled with antiquities of all sorts – ancient Greek pots decorating in various scenes that Phil knows a little too well after spending many a night researching Greek pottery once he had seen a rather not-suitable-for-work piece on Tumblr a few months ago. There are a few plates that have similar floral patterns that Phil thinks he would happily allow decorate his flat back home if he could.

There were paintings on the other walls, some dating from at least two thousand years ago and some more recent but all showing scenes that Phil can only assume relate to the altar itself.

When the group disbands to have a moment or two exploring the altar for themselves before the tour guide eventually calls them back for some more of their knowledge lessons, in Phil’s eyesight appears a small family that Phil just stares at in awe.

He doesn’t think he can ever get over seeing gay couples in person. Even after years of being an out and proud gay man (to everyone but the internet, that’s only been a year or so) it still baffles him that people can just walk around being loud and proud and _gay_. Not in the sense that they are proud of their sexuality, but the fact they can show it with minimal ease and anxiety about what others around them think.

Of course, Phil can walk around Athens holding Dan’s hand and exchanging kisses with him every now and again but something about that not being real helps him slightly. Something about it not being real comforts him because if someone hurls abuse at them for just existing, it doesn’t hold any value because it’s not _real_.

So looking at the two seemingly sapphic people with blue and green hair in front of him holding hands with their small assumed daughter in between them is slightly overwhelming, if not completely desirable. Phil would like that to be him one day.

“Eyes back in your head, Lester.”

“You _know_ I wasn’t looking at them like that,” Phil comes back to Earth, that being Dan apparently, and rolls his eyes.

“I know,” Dan says softly. “Maybe that could be us one day in this imaginary world we’ve created.”

“Two lesbian parents with a child in the middle of Athens?” Phil laughs.

“Fuck off,” Dan barks a laugh back in return, which again earns a few turning heads and Dan quietly apologising to them with his hands splayed out in front of him and his mouth opening up to allow hushed whispers to come out. “You know what I mean.”

“Yeah,” Phil sighs.

~*~

The tour was over after an hour or so and that made Dan and Phil free for the rest of the evening. They did plan on going to the Temple of Hephaestus, a temple dedicated to Aphrodite’s other consort, which is just down the slope of the hill beside the train tracks but as soon as Dan’s stomach rumbled that was the end of that debate.

They find a small brunch restaurant just a short walk from the altar and easily get seated without any need to queue, much to Phil’s delight, and they can order what they wanted fairly instantly.

Dan orders the Greek yoghurt with granola, honey and cinnamon all over the top and Phil orders pancakes with hazelnut cocoa spread with petit-beurre biscuit, which the waitress said is very similar to shortbread in England. They also get a small salad with a mango and ginger garlic vinaigrette on the side to share, mainly because Dan assumes that he may still be hungry after the yoghurt.

“I thought you were trying to be vegan?” Phil says once the waitress leaves their table with their order written on a piece of paper. He absentmindedly plays with the napkin tray that’s placed in the middle of the dark wood tabletop, not that Phil can see it that much because the table is covered with a yellow cloth which matches the aesthetic of the restaurant.

“Do not deprive me of the wonders of Greek yoghurt, Phil.”

“Okay,” Phil laughs. “Can I try some when it comes?”

Dan just stares at him blankly before Phil widens his eyes as if to question _what?_

“Come on, you can’t expect me to come to Greece and not have some yoghurt.”

“Okay so first, you judge me for my flaws in not being able to stick to veganism. Then second, you try to deprive me of the one thing I wanted very much by stealing my yoghurt?”

“I wouldn’t be steal-“

“After you steal my yoghurt, which you are very much doing, you’re then going to go back to the hotel and whine about the lactose upsetting your delicate tummy and for what Phil?”

“For what?”

“Exactly.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi i forgot to update last week bc i was so stressed with uni but im back!! ive wrote a few chapters this week SOME HOW so i have some updates for u all :)
> 
> i thought i'd put the degree ive almost got to good use and write a lil ancient history in this very fitting chapter :D
> 
> and ps yes the lesbian couple is me and my gf i hate no choice (just minus the child)


	11. Chapter 11

“It’s so weird that it’s way after the middle of the day and we’re eating brunch.”

“Okay, but I’m pretty sure they have this restaurant open all day so you could eat brunch at later this evening too,” Phil says, a mouth full of pancake being swallowed down his throat as he does so. He hardly ever says this, mainly because he adores his family with the ground they walk on, but he’s glad that his mother isn’t here in this moment because she would attack him for talking with his mouth full.

“But brunch is a meal for a specific time of the day, a combination of breakfast and lunch, and it’s more like a combination of lunch and dinner right now,” Dan mumbles through the mouthful of yoghurt too, Phil chuckles because he and Dan are truly one of a match.

“I think it’s more of the type of food.”

“But you can have these things for any meal, it doesn’t make it _brunch_.”

“You’re here aren’t you?” Phil raises his eyebrows.

“And you dragged me here, you asked for these musings.”

Phil laughs as he takes another bite out of his pancake stack. When he looks up, he notices Dan quietly sipping on the coffee that he ordered after realising they forgot drinks. Phil would have ordered one too if Dan denied him a coffee and ordered him a decaf tea, because apparently, Phil doesn’t need any more excuse to be hyper.

Phil isn’t sure if it’s the bitterness of the coffee or something else that brings a frown across Dan’s face but as Dan places his mug of coffee down onto the table in front of him, Phil takes the opportunity to reach his own hand out to take Dan’s now empty hand into his own.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, fine. Why?” Dan says as he turns their hands around so they are holding each other's hand more comfortably. Phil has always noticed that Dan does that, whenever Phil reaches for his hand first, they always spend a moment or two just readjusting, so Dan’s hand is safely tucked underneath Phil’s.

“You just look like you’re in your own little world just then,” Phil smiles when he feels the gentle squeeze against his hand.

“Yeah it’s just,” Dan sighs, momentarily removing his hand from Phil’s which Phil has to desperately stop himself from whining about the loss of warmth, even though they are in the middle of Athens with ridiculously humid temperatures that he simply isn’t used to in his London flat. Instead, Dan runs his hands through his hair.

He turns his body to the side, almost like he is going to make a run for it from the table, and rests his hand on the edge of his knee, “Do you ever just wonder what’s going to happen when this week is over?”

“Well, we’ll be going home and back to working on your book?”

“Yeah, I know. I just meant with us?”

“I mean, that is… what’s going to happen?”

Dan just stares at him and for a moment, Phil isn’t sure what’s going on. He’s stupid, because his brain is telling him that Dan is asking about _them_ and their relationship but that’s far too hopeful. Phil knows deep down that he doesn’t want this to end either, but he isn’t sure whether Dan feels that same way. Surely he doesn’t, because why would he?

He is Dan, the preferred member of this duo. The one that everyone loves and worships. The funnier one. The prettier one. And Phil is just Phil, and there’s no way that Dan would actually and seriously be here with Phil right now.

“Do you mean after this food is over and we get the bill?”

Dan frowns for a second, but it’s almost like if you’d blink and you miss it because, after that second, Dan is smiling away in front of him. It’s almost like whatever that weird conversation was didn’t happen.

“Yeah, that’s what I meant, you idiot,” Dan chuckles whilst rolling his eyes, running his hand through his hair again before turning back towards the table again. “Do you want to do a live show or something? Our audience will be expecting at least one this week and we didn’t do one last week so?”

“Sure,” Phil replies, because as much as he wants to bring up Dan’s obvious bad mood and the weird conversation again, that may be a conversation for another day.

~*~

_Phil Lester tweeted:_

_LIVE ON YOUNOW!! (with some guy called Dan?) come say hi to us!_

“Hello! Can you hear me? Can you see me?” Phil sings as his eyes scan the chat for the usual quick hellos from fans who come on the stream way before everyone else. Dan and Phil both know who some of their audience are by now, after seeing the same names time and time again on younow comments, YouTube comments, replying to tweets etc, so it’s nice to see them flooding the chat with warm and welcoming messages.

Most of the other comments are about the obvious location change. This clearly is not their usual lounge set up whenever they do joint live shows and they’ve noticed almost immediately.

Also, the fact that Phil has posted a few sketchy things on his Instagram story without telling them where they are may also be enough knowledge for them.

He pauses and looks around the room like he isn’t sure what they mean, with a frown across his face like he’s in absolute confusion.

“You think something is wrong with where I am? I don’t think I know what you mean, this is our lounge? Always has been,” Phil chuckles in a way that he just _knows_ his tongue is poking out of his mouth, the way Dan mocks him for way too much. “Anyway, I think this live show would be miles better if I had someone with me?”

Phil does think about dragging it on even longer, by humming and ahhing about who this other person could be, for added humour because he knows they know after tweeting Dan would be joining them.

But, Dan comes onto screen almost immediately saving him from having to display his fabulous acting, just as dramatic as anyone would have expected from Dan himself.

“Hi everyone, did you guess it’s me? Quite unpredictable right?” Dan gasps sarcastically, smiling away at the screen as he reads some of the comments coming in. “Yeah where are we, Phil? This surely isn’t where we live we aren’t this posh?”

“That may be because,” Phil says slowly, making a show of it all which makes Dans eyes roll fondly, seeing it out of the corner of his eye. “We’re in Athens!”

“Ten points for anyone who guessed that by the way.”

“Yeah, sorry we didn’t tell you. We’re just here for a few things that are personal and private and we didn’t feel the need to share it but it’s not an awful secret so here we are!”

“Why Greece, someone said in the chat. That’s because we didn’t get to choose where Phil’s friend wanted to get married.”

_Do we know who is getting married?_

_OMG congrats to the lucky couple._

_Good for them._

_Why are you at Phil’s friend's wedding, Dan?_

“Why are you at Phil’s friend's wedding? You are all really nosey but it’s basically because Phil got a plus one and he’s obviously destined to be alone forever so I got it.”

“Oi! That’s so rude of you after I’ve given you a free holiday,” Phil whines as he pushes Dan gently against his side.

“You’re right actually,” Dan chuckles, looking back at the screen to read the chat.

Phil reads it too and he notices a few comments about sleeping arrangements that he chooses to ignore because he has always been awful at lying to his audience. He sees one about what they’ve been doing in Greece day to day and besides to expand on that.

“Well my family are here too, obviously high school friends in a small northern town, we all know each other. So we’ve been doing some things with them.”

“Yeah, we went to the Parthenon the other day. Very beautiful. Memories we’ll have forever blah blah blah,” Dan lets out an exasperated sigh, leaning back against the sofa that they’ve decided to not sit on, sitting in front of it instead with Phil’s laptop resting on the coffee table, by the window giving them pretty lighting thanks to Athens sun.

“It was very beautiful.”

“Truthfully, was memories to last forever, wasn’t it Phil?” Dan continues, smiling at Phil for a brief second before he turns back to the screen to continue speaking. “We had a tour of the Acropolis and learnt some really fancy history about the place. Like, we knew some of it, who doesn’t know the Acropolis? You know?”

Dan leans forward to read the chat, reading out a few about how they love Athens and study history at university or that they don’t actually know anything about Greek mythology. He answers a few accordingly and goes on a lengthy ramble for each one.

“Today, we went to finish the Altar for – I think anyway, excuse me if I butcher this wonderful culture with my problematic British self – Aphrodite Urania and it was a really wonderful time.”

Phil’s heart softens at Dan’s excited ramble about the holiday. Truth be told he didn’t know Dan actually cared that much.

_Did you go with Phil’s family again?_

_Did Kath like it?_

“It was just us,” Dan gasps. “You know, don’t say we never do anything for you anymore. We went. To an altar. Dedicated to the Greek goddess of sexuality and love. Together. Alone. We did that for _you_.”

Phil shakes his head and smirks a burst of laughter out of his mouth at that. Obviously, they didn’t do any of this for their audience but it’s a better alternative to Dan and Phil both going alone because they wanted to, holding hands the entire trip.

_Ooooh dnp alone time_

_Was it a date?????_

“You are all so annoying assuming two gay men can’t be buddies without something more. Very problematic of you all, should be ashamed of yourself,” Dan tuts, rolling his eyes again. “I’m joking but it was really fun and we had a good time didn’t we Philly?”

Phil knows that the pet name just slipped out without meaning to. He doesn’t want to stick around this too long because the audience will be too caught up on it, especially if Phil acts startled too so he shuffles forward and pretends to read the chat.

~*~

“That was a good show.”

“You think?”

“Yeah, they seemed to enjoy our anecdotes of Dan and Phil both being idiots,” Phil laughs, leaning back on the headboard to finally get comfortable. They ended the call less than a minute ago and Phil immediately gets himself more comfortable.

It’s not that their audience makes him uncomfortable at all. He just doesn’t think he could find a valid excuse for Dan and Phil to both be lying in the same bed on a stream. His audience are sometimes blind to things they do but that may just be a nail on the head a little too much.

That also may have opened up questions about their sleeping arrangements that they weren’t about to answer any time soon. Usually, they would have rooms separately, or at least two separate beds, but for obvious reasons, they are sharing this holiday and they didn’t want to highlight that _any_ more than they would have to.

“They always do,” Dan mumbles in response and immediately Phil hears something is up. It doesn’t make any sense to him because Dan seemed incredibly happy during the live show and now, his mood has completely changed.

“Are you alright?”

“I think, I just feel tired,” Dan shrugs.

“Do you want to just go to bed?”

“And have a little cuddle?” Dan asks tentatively.

“Sure,” Phil chuckles, standing up and taking off his jeans before getting into bed properly. He doesn’t even look at what Dan is doing, in fear of being a right creep, but when he turns around Dan’s already tucked up under the duvet.

Phil meets up underneath and there is a few seconds hesitation because he isn’t quite sure where they stand even though Dan asked for this not long ago, but he shuffles closer to Dan all the same.

“Are you sure?”

Dan does not even respond before he shuffles into the remaining gap between them and wraps his arm around Phil’s torso, resting his head against his shoulder. It is almost like Dan melts instantly into Phil and he cannot find a reason to complain about feeling Dan’s warmth spreading across him.

He leans down and presses a few gentle kisses on Dan’s forehead without thinking twice about it, and upon the third one the thoughts come streaming in and his anxiety grows in fear that he had overstepped, but when Dan lifts his head up shyly and leans into the space where Phil’s head is, as if to ask for another.

So, Phil does and maybe he peppers more across Dan’s hairline but who needs to know? It’s only between him and Dan, and clearly, Dan isn’t going to tell anyone.

He lifts his head off Dan’s eventually, albeit reluctantly because he would happily continue giving Dan small featherlight kisses until Dan told him to stop but he didn’t want to overstay his welcome and _get_ told to stop.

Instead, he leans backwards against the small part of the headboard that he can reach once he shuffles down to lie down too and he watches as Dan’s head rises and falls in time with his own breathing, as the movement he made also made Dan fall down onto his chest. It’s oddly intimate and almost _too much._ He feels his entire heart bursting at the seams.

It shouldn’t affect him as much that the feeling of Dan’s body pressing against his own and his leg wrapping around Phil’s thighs is overwhelming. But to make things even worse, Phil brings his hand absentmindedly to card through Dan’s curls.

He hears a quiet chuckle escape from Dan’s mouth and he smiles to himself, but then eventually after minutes pass, Phil feels the evening out of Dan’s breath and realises that he’s fallen asleep.

He wishes he could relate. He doesn’t hate the fact that Dan wanted to have this little moment before sleeping, because they sometimes did this when either of them were overwhelmed about things. But whilst Phil is hyperaware of the repressed emotions he’s had looming in his brain for the many years they have known each other, and being very intimate and close is overbearing.

It’s all he can think about. This. Those feelings that he has about Dan.

He doesn’t blame himself entirely though, but entirely being a loose claim because sometimes he blames himself a little bit. Anyone would feel this way if they spend the best part and the large majority of ten years with Dan. He’s easy to fall in love with.

He is sure that absolutely anyone would.

But he does hate himself a little bit for doing so when he knows Dan wants nothing more than friendship from him. It’s what kills a little more.

Phil sighs as he moves his hand from Dan’s hair and dances his fingertips down his arm, up and down lightly in a pattern that would tickle and Dan would usually complain about if he were awake. But he isn’t so Phil is met with nothing but silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hii sorry for a shorter chapter ;___; i just wanted to finish the day so the next chapter could start from the next day, if that makes sense :3
> 
> i hope ur week has been good and ill see u all next week :D <3


	12. Chapter 12

It is warm when Phil wakes up. Not the usual warm that Phil has become accustomed to after four and a bit days in the Greek Mediterranean sunshine. Sun does warm across Phil’s cheekbones, running down to make his ear feel on fire, but it’s a different type of heat that Phil has known a few times, once or twice after a late night in front of the television with Dan in particular.

That’s when his eyes dart wide open, remembering the events from the night before. Or lack thereof.

It’s not like anything really happened last night – they came back home from a visit to the Altar for Aphrodite Urania, did a live show together for their audience that involved a lot of talking and then fell asleep immediately after.

Of course, the fact that Dan wanted Phil to cuddle him to sleep. That _may_ have slipped his mind slightly until now.

But now it comes springing back to mind with Dan’s knees in the back of his own and Dan’s one arm wrapping around his torso. They must have tossed and turned in their slumber from the usual cuddling position, to this. And this is new.

Their bodies fitting together like puzzle pieces, Phil could feel Dan’s heartbeat thumping across his back and that made it perfect. He knows it isn’t a dream, that it is real.

He closes his eyes and basks in the attention for a little while longer. It’s not like Phil _loves_ being a little spoon, because as much as the next person, he loves being the person who wraps the loved one all up in their limbs. This is something different and it makes Phil’s heart flutter in his chest like nothing he has ever felt before.

He feels safe. He feels protected. He feels loved.

Of course, he knows it wouldn’t last long though, when he begins to feel Dan stirring awake. His legs kicking gently against the back of Phil’s thighs, spreading tingles starting from those places where he kicks up to the tips of his fingers and the top of his ears. Dan’s arm moving and incidentally stroking circles into the exposed skin that’s on show from the lift of Phil’s night shirt – that Phil remembers in that moment is Dan’s striped tee from yesterday – and the feeling makes Phil want to equal parts giggle because it tickles and moan because it feels overbearingly too good.

Dan’s stirring awake doesn’t mean anything though. Phil thinks that he would have pulled away the second that he woke up, but he just exhales and pulls Phil closer instead. Not that Phil is complaining.

“Good morning,” Dan mumbles in his sleepy voice.

“Morning.”

“How was your sleep?”

“Good good,” Phil says quickly, probably far too quick. “And you?”

“Great actually.”

“Why _actually_?” Phil pushes. He doesn’t know whether he would like the answer though. He knows all to well that the next thing to come out of Dan’s mouth will be something along the lines of _I didn’t think I’d actually get a good sleep with your big lump attached to me_ or _I didn’t think I’d actually get enough sleep waking up constantly throughout the night after you kept moving_ /.

Anything to point that that Dan didn’t want this and anything to help Phil realise he overstepped even though he didn’t mean to because he _was_ in his sleep.

And Phil doesn’t want that. So he’s about to pull away from whatever this is, this spooning cuddle, when he feels Dan’s arm wrap around him even tighter so he can’t escape. His heart stutters, thinking hopefully momentarily that this is because Dan wants to spend time with him, but maybe instead, he’s just stretching and will allow Phil to move away again once he’s done.

That time doesn’t come however, and Dan keeps his hands wrapped tightly around Phil’s torso.

“What are the plans for today?” Dan asks, like he isn’t at all affected by the situation they’ve both awoken to find themselves in.

“Uh, nothing really. I have the stag do tonight, but other than that,” Phil begins thinking, trailing off at the end as he comes to a loss about what they actually have planned.

“Oh,” Dan groans, pulling Phil closer if that were even possible. “So you’re leaving me.”

“You can do things whilst I’m gone?”

“But you’re leaving me,” Dan says a little louder, and a little more like a whine instead. It’s the type of whine that is obvious as a joke because it’s aggressive and over the top, not like you’re actually upset – a quiet whimper.

“I’ll be back in the evening,” Phil chuckles, leaning into the pull that Dan has him in. He should pull away, and he knows that all too well, but he can’t stop himself from wanting this.

“That’s not the point,” Dan whines again, prolonging the ‘t’ at the end of ‘point’ as if that would prove his upset anymore than saying it normally.

Phil doesn’t reply, more so because he doesn’t know _how_ to reply instead of not wanting to. Basking in the attention that Dan is giving him; his thumb stroking a small amount of exposed skin that’s on show because his night shirt, Dan’s shirt, is risen slightly still from earlier; Dan’s other hand lightly tucked underneath Phil’s neck to the point where Phil isn’t sure that’s comfortable for Dan but he isn’t complaining so Phil won’t point it out. His hand that’s underneath his neck is lightly tickling his collarbone, not like it’s on purpose though because it’s slightly off pattern and Dan would be damned if he did anything off course.

It’s almost like the lack of reply doesn’t matter to Dan because Phil isn’t leaving right now. Phil is here, with him and the fact he is leaving later on in the evening doesn’t even cross his mind. Because Phil is here.

But then Phil remembers Dan isn’t the one in love with his best friend. That’s him.

Dan plays with his hair all the same, almost like he could be in love with Phil, but of course he isn’t. He moves his hand from Phil’s collarbone – dragging lightly like an ice skater across the ice careful and elegant but not without plans, Dan knows where his hand is going – to the base of Phil’s neck. Phil swears he feels a gentle peck on his nape but he must have mistaken it, because it’s featherlight and far too quick to be an actual kiss. It could just be Dan’s hand being clammy from being trapped all night.

Almost like Dan hears him and wants to prove Phil wrong, which of course isn’t the case, he moves his hand completely from Phil’s neck, the cold air hitting but just for a second before Dan’s lips meet the skin again.

Dan’s lips are soft but also hard against Phil’s neck. The kisses remain innocent and experiment, like Dan isn’t sure he can actually do this, but Phil doesn’t mind because any type of kiss from Dan is like a breath of fresh air for him. Like he had needed it his entire life and was _only_ just getting what he needs.

As quickly as Dan’s lips began tenderly kisses at Phil’s neck, they leave quicker and there’s a moment of silence in the air where neither of them speak. Not because they don’t want to, maybe because they are at a loss of words. Phil is sure that’s the case for him.

“Is this okay?” Dan whispers against Phil’s skin, almost like he doesn’t want to be heard. All ounce of confidence gone just as he had it.

Phil doesn’t think that he has the ability to reply without exposing how choked out he is, so he nods albeit eagerly and hopes that enough. And when it is, Dan offering a small chuckle and from what Phil can feel from the back of his head, Dan shaking his head, he knows it may be enough.

He relaxes and stretches his neck a little as an invite for Dan to continue if he wants to, easy enough for if Dan denies him, Phil can pass it off as a stretch because his neck is cramped. It takes a few moments, but Dan meets him with more confidence than the last time.

Phil begins to get lost into the feeling of Dan’s lips brushing against his skin, moving from his nape and more to the side, where it’s more sensitive. Phil doesn’t really talk about the fact that his neck is pretty sensitive, he’s obviously never had a reason to talk to Dan about it.

But Dan seems to have clocked on when he kisses more feverously against the delicate skin on his neck, causing Phil to release his bottom lip that he has been holding in between his teeth, escaping a small moan. It isn’t a particularly loud one, more like a burst of air escaping his lungs but it’s enough for Dan to jerk back away from his neck.

“Are you okay? Was that too much? Oh my go-“

Phil turns around to meet Dan’s face, for the first time this morning, and sees worry plastered across his face. It almost worries Phil himself, but his brain is so fogged over with _want_ and _need_ that he doesn’t think too much when he wraps his hand around the back of Dan’s neck and pulls him back down, crashing into his own lips.

“Yes,” Phil breathes out between the kiss, hoping the one word reply as consent would be enough for Dan to continue.

This feels different. It doesn’t feel wrong though, instead, it feels completely right. Phil’s hand roams from Dan’s neck to the back of his head, pressing his fingers into Dan’s hair and tugging the loose strands at the back, that were messy during sleep.

Phil knows he did something right there because Dan almost groans, not completely but with their close proximity Phil can feel it against his mouth, and because Dan’s mouth opens slightly Phil takes it as an invitation.

He pushes his tongue against Dan’s lips, equal parts aggressive and patient, and Phil swears he hears another whimper before he opens his mouth and complies to deepening the kiss. Phil’s tongue fumbles, a little clumsily into his mouth, due to the last remaining nerves he has in him but his confidence picks up quickly, enabling him to be more clever with his tactics.

Dan’s chest falls on top of Phil’s as the kiss deepens and Phil can suddenly feel every inch of him. All he can think about is how he once thought never kissing this man would be enough for life for him, and now he has _this_ , he isn’t sure he can ever go back to that. Dan grips Phil’s side underneath the shirt, fingers splaying out and his nails digging into his pale, soft skin as if to agree.

That’s almost too much for Phil and he thinks, or lack thereof ironically, that every thought has left his brain, his soul even, as he pulls Dan onto his lap.

Dan matches by putting his legs each side of Phil’s hips, sitting down in the small places he can without touching Phil’s crotch, and pulls away for a second. Phil thinks that he is going to end it all and a bout of anxiety threads through him until Dan looks down at him, meeting his eyes, and smiles widely, dimples and all.

Dan grabs the side of his bed shirt with his fists, and pulls it over his head, messing up his hair even more (if that was possible with the head hair Dan is experiencing). He leans back down to find Phil’s lips again and Phil is sure that he is going to lose it all now.

Dan’s lips make quick work of moving from Phil’s lips, down to his neck again, and this change of position makes the neck kissing change. Dan is kissing his neck, hot but slow, allowing butterflies to fill up Phil’s entire body making him shake.

The heavy breathing would make him self conscious if it wasn’t for the fact Phil could hear Dan’s breathing equally, and feel his chest shuddering slightly with every breath. The thought is so foreign but it passes through his mind quickly when he becomes overwhelmed and arches his back, just the smallest amount, to gain friction against his boxers.

And that’s when it hits him. He’s doing this with Dan. Dan – his best friend. Dan, the person who he is meant to be faking an engagement with and _this_ shouldn’t be happening. They should be pretending to do this, not actually doing it.

He doesn’t mean to come across this aggressive when he pushes Dan backwards, Dan’s lips leaving his collarbone, plump and all. Phil is sure he’s going to have a mark wherever Dan left but he doesn’t need to think about that at the moment.

They both stare at each other's eyes, emotions covered by any remaining want they had between them, eye contact a little while than they should have.

Dan clears his throat, scratching his neck whilst shuffling back off Phil’s lap as he does so. Phil knows that Dan is giving him some space because he thinks Phil is anxious about the situation, but that is far from what Phil needs. He feels cold. He feels lost all of a sudden and that isn’t helping.

“We should probably-“

“Phil,” Dan begins to say, but Phil doesn’t hear the end of his sentence because he leaps off the bed in a deafening anxious state and closes the bathroom door behind him, turning the shower on for good measure to drown out the sound that Dan may or may not be causing.

~*~

He takes his time in the shower, long enough to calm down anyway. He dries his hair with the hairdryer that the hotel provide for them and puts his pyjamas back on so he can leave the room – even though the shirt, Dan’s stripey shirt, burns against his skin now.

When he comes out, he is quick to realise Dan isn’t in the room anymore, and there’s nowhere for him to go in a medium-sized hotel room other than the bathroom and well, that’s where Phil was. He knows he should go and find him, but at the same time, if Dan has stormed out of the hotel room, he doesn’t want to talk right now. And that’s even if Phil finds him in the middle of Athens.

He walks over to his bedside table where his phone is resting, phone charger placed on the side. Phil is sure that he fell asleep with it on charge but Dan has always been so obsessed with never leaving it _on_ charge for too long because it ruins the battery, so Dan must have taken it off charge when Phil was in the bathroom.

He smiles at the thought as he unlocks his phone, putting in the password and cringing at himself for being so predictable with having the date that he and Dan first moved in together as his password. He supposes it could be worse, having the day they met for the first time in October. That’s probably the one the audience vouches he has his password as, anyway.

He opens Dan’s text thread and chuckles a quick laugh at their previous conversation. It was at the dinner table a few nights ago.

_Dan: thinkin.. the old lady next to me hates me_

_Phil: Dan that’s Joshua’s nan_

_Dan: and she still hates me????_

_Dan: what am I supposed to say to that u idiot_

_Phil: Stoppp_

_Phil: You’re making me laugh_

_Dan: nanny josh is gonna sus you out I reckon :/_

That night seems like years ago now in contrast to how they are this morning, especially after the morning they have had. Phil shrugs, deciding to not dwell on it before dropping Dan a text.

_Phil: where did you get off to?_

Phil knows better than the next person to wait for a text off of Dan. He doesn’t purposely ignore people but when he is out the house especially, he does forget his phone exists for anything other than a camera device.

So instead he opens up the Twitter app to see what’s going on in the world. Living with Dan long enough, he’s learnt that relying on news outlets isn’t the best way to get information in the world and whilst Twitter isn’t much better, it’s an improvement at least.

His timeline is just talking about this and that, a new game rumour that someone at Nintendo has accidentally leaked and random current events turning into memes. He doesn’t really pay attention unless a buzzword catches his attention every now and again.

He turns to his notifications and scrolls past a few pieces of art, not before giving them a quick like so he can show his appreciation for the section of his audience who create incredible pieces of art for him and Dan, before instantly landing on some stills from the live show yesterday.

There’s one of him in particular where he is playing with his hair, sorting out his quiff which is something that he does quite often due to be obsessed with his hair looks on camera. Usually, people tag him in stills that they think he looks cute in or if they do a joint show ones that either of them are looking at each other romantically, he sees it a lot a few days afterwards, but this one isn’t for any of those reasons.

Through the very low quality image, the ring on Phil’s finger is vaguely visible and their audience are screaming.

At first, anxiety threads through his system. One, because they are faking a relationship and they’ve been caught out, and their audience are going to think their rumoured relationship is legit and there is marriage involved. Two, because this is yet another thing to go wrong between him and Dan. Dan is off walking around Athens in a huff against Phil and if he sees this, he’s going to be more mad at him.

Once he calms down, which takes a few seconds of remembering their audience, and how no one is going to believe them and call them _clowns_ for thinking they are engaged or even married. He is still so mad at himself for allowing the slip. Almost like he is being far too comfortable with Dan to remember they have an audience who knows their every move and would notice something like that.

He can just ignore it, because audience rumours are almost always depicted as just that, audience rumours. And he can rely on the pixelated video quality of live streaming for the other part of their audience to (wrongfully) prove that you can't see anything in the photos to suggest anything, or alternatively suggest that Phil just wants to wear a ring. He’s allowed to do that.

He groans and throws his phone onto the bedside table out of frustration because _surely_ Dan is going to see the fake ring discourse on his own Twitter when he next opens his phone – maybe he already knows for all Phil knows, he isn’t with Dan right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am aware i was meant to post yday but i was really busy and only remembered at 2am this morning that i forgot to post lmao, and i didnt want to post that late so here we are
> 
> i hope ur week has been good and that u have a brilliant weekend too <3


	13. Chapter 13

He doesn’t get much done in between the time that he sees everything on Twitter until now, between watching random Greek reality television shows on the small television in front of the bed and aggressively searching through what they have available on the pay per view section, he manages to get through several hours before he does have to start getting ready for the stag do tonight.

Dan isn’t back yet and that does worry him, but Dan is a big boy. He can take care of himself. Phil cannot though, as much as he hates that for himself because he’s the eldest between them. He just needs Dan for fashion advice. Without him, he is at a loss.

With a sigh, he stands up reluctantly and begins to look at his side of the wardrobe, and the small remainder of clothes left folded up in his suitcase and struggles greatly. Deciding to choose his outfit later, he has a quick shower to distract himself from the stress of picking an outfit.

He takes off the clothes he had worn to bed, not looking at the fact it’s Dan’s shirt when he throws it on the floor, not caring if it gets wet from the overspray of the shower once it’s turned on – there’s something there about Phil’s emotions but he doesn’t dwell on it for too long.

He turns on the tap for the shower head and watches as the water turns from cold to warm, before stepping in. The warm water helps soothe him straight away, removing some of his worries from his head for a moment, and helps him forget that a certain someone exists and is mad at him for some reason.

_Some reason._

He knows why, it’s glaringly obvious, but he isn’t completely sure why Dan is upset with _him_. Phil is the one hopelessly in love with his best friend here, not Dan.

So why would Dan be upset with him?

Is it because Dan expected to get some action this morning and because Phil wasn’t all for it, he is mad at him for leaving him with blue balls? Surely Dan isn’t _that_ mad to storm out about that.

He quickly washes his hair and body with the shampoo and shower gel that the hotel gives out for free, watching as the soap suds wash away down the drain by his feet, before stepping out into the cold air of the bathroom.

Phil actually feels sort of relaxed as he wraps a towel around his waist and another around his neck for his hair, almost like all of the anxiety that he had had about Dan and this morning had melted away when he allowed the water to run over his body.

Walking back into the bedroom, feeling a bit nervous that he would be faced with Dan returning to their hotel room at the same time that Phil comes out in just a towel, but fortunately (or unfortunately, Phil isn’t sure) he enters the room to complete loneliness.

He heads over to the wardrobe again and looks through his options. He isn’t usually this unable to choose, but the last few days in the holiday, Dan has chosen for him and now the entire thought process was for him himself? Weird.

Even though Phil had never been to the bar that they are going to, he assumes that he doesn’t need to wear a suit. It’s meant to be a stag do, society deems it one last party for the groom before he’s married off to his bride to be, it is going to probably be a little bit messy. A suit isn’t warranted.

He instead, goes for a smart shirt, so if they did have a change of venue, he could more or less get in regardless of where they went, and a pair of skinny jeans without rips. It’s the late evening in Greece, so it’s usually a little bit cooler than the day, he can get away with jeans.

When Phil was fully dressed, he walks over to where his phone had been on charge all evening and pockets it, along with his wallet and the one set of keys for the hotel room, and pulls over a smart casual blazer to keep him warm later when the evening air eventually gets all the more cooler.

He’s halfway out of the door before he remembers that he hasn’t checked his phone for the entirety of the time that he had been getting ready, so he does. When he sees absolutely no message from Dan in sight, he shuts the door rather aggressively and makes his way to the lobby to meet everyone.

He ignores the whining voice in his head that sounds awfully like Dan telling him to not go out with slightly damp hair because he could get a cold. After all, Dan is the last person he wants to listen to right now.

~*~

They end up at this partially fancy cocktail bar in the centre of Athens, which makes Phil grateful that he is wearing something somewhat dressier than a jersey shirt and jeans, at least he is wearing a button up shirt.

The place where the stag do party are having drinks is on the rooftop, which an entire three hundred and sixty degrees view of Athens around them, Phil being able to see the Acropolis from where he is sitting.

The half-wall around the seating area, used to protect drunk people from falling off the rooftop bar which Phil has already seen one of his friends almost do if the wall wasn’t there, lighting up the entire bar with yellow coloured fairy lights, shining off the dark green floral arrangements intertwined on top of the wall. The only other light that the bar has is stolen from the skyline around them, including the Acropolis lights that still shine as bright throughout the night as they do throughout the day.

On each of their tables, there are small candles but that doesn’t really do much for the lighting as much as it creates ambience. Phil thinks it’s rather beautiful and he has to stop his brain from wishing Dan was here to see it too, he knows Dan would be taking photos of the skyline as they spoke, deeming that more important than listening to any conversation going on.

It pains him to think that this reminds him of the first time that he and Dan had met, in the sky bar in Manchester that Phil spent probably way too much of his wages on. He just knew Dan was worth it.

He shakes his head, tuning into the conversation that his friends are having instead of listening to his brain telling him that Dan is _still_ worth it. He’s meant to be mad at Dan right now.

“The wedding is costing an arm and a leg, but I wouldn’t change it for the world,” Joshua says into his drink, taking a large gulp before swallowing with a grimace – a face Phil knows all too well with Joshua overestimating his ability to stand alcohol.

They’ve been friends since the first week of university, and Phil has seen Joshua in a lot of states throughout their friendship. He, unfortunately, knows the face of Joshua struggling to keep down his drink all too well.

“Yeah, at least you don’t have to do it again?” Joshua’s friend, Phil thinks he’s called Jason, teases.

“You’d hope not,” Joshua’s father laughs.

“Yeah, it’s Phil next I reckon,” Joshua chimes in, nudging Phil beside him as he finishes his joke. Unfortunately for Phil, he had already begun zoning out again before Joshua started speaking so he has no clue what the conversation has lead to.

“Huh?”

“We were saying, you’re next,” Joshua says, smile still on his face like he is proud of his joke. _A joke_ , if only he knew how much of a joke it had been.

“For what?” Phil narrows his eyes, looking around the table and seeing the same confused expression on everyone’s faces that he assumes is on his own right now. Except they all know what the conversation is, he isn’t too sure.

“Getting married?” Joshua says slowly, confused and almost annoyed that Phil hasn’t been paying attention to their conversation. Phil reckons he understands why, because they are having an evening dedicated to him, and Phil doesn’t even have the decency to listen to him.

“Oh yeah, sorry. World of my own there,” Phil chuckles, reaching for his drink as a safety clutch in his hand, like a fidget toy for the anxious or a loose thread on someone’s jeans.

“I’m sure you’re going to get married before any of the rest of these losers,” Joshua’s dad laughs, sticking his tongue out at Jason who says a little _oi!_ at his joke.

“Wouldn’t be too sure about that,” Phil mumbles before he has a second to allow his brain to catch up with his mouth, and by then it’s already out into the world so he has to accept it.

“What do you mean?” Jason frowns.

“Phil probably means that they don’t plan to get married yet, right?” Joshua offers for him, luckily, because Phil doesn’t really have any clue what he would say if no one opened their mouth instead.

“To be fair, a lot of you young ones nowadays are having longer loving engagements,” Joshua’s father chimes in, earning a few nods at the head from the few other older men on the table.

“How long have you been engaged now, you’ve never said?”

“About six months, maybe?”

“God, be glad Dan isn’t here right now because he would kill you for not knowing how long you’ve been together!”

Phil just chuckles awkwardly as a response, not really feeling the need to keep up with the lie right now. Maybe it’s the alcohol, but maybe it’s the argument they still haven’t solved, but he just isn’t feeling tonight.

He was meant to be having fun, with his friends, but it just feels so dampened right now.

Eventually, a waitress comes over with a pad in their hand to take their orders for the next round of drinks – Joshua’s father was nice enough to put a large wad of money behind the bar so they didn’t have to keep getting credit cards or their wallets out throughout the evening.

Phil isn’t sure what anyone says, because yet again, he isn’t paying attention. The second that he’s given the opportunity he zones out. He isn’t even sure what he orders for himself when the waitress smiles at him and asks him what he wants, but she nods politely with a smile and Phil assumes that is enough.

“Are you okay?” Joshua asks him when the person walks away with their order.

“Sure,” Phil says. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

Joshua almost laughs, Phil can tell but only for a second, because then it has gone quiet and when Phil turns his head, he sees Joshua lift his eyebrows up sarcastically with a smirk spreading ear to ear.

“What?”

“We’re playing the dumb _I definitely don’t know what you’re talking about Joshua_ game, are we?” Joshua rolls his eyes as he speaks, and something about the tone of Joshua’s voice sets Phil’s nerves on edge.

“Like what?”

“Phil, you’re too clever to act dumb,” Joshua chuckles, quietly so the rest of the party isn’t privy to their conversation. If Phil uses his ears properly, he can hear the faint conversation about women and he decides that doesn’t interest him any longer, so he has no choice but to switch back to Joshua. “Are you and Dan okay?”

“What makes you think we aren’t?” Phil tilts his eyebrows into a frown as he speaks. He knows why someone may think him and Dan _aren’t_ okay but he knows more than anyone here, in that sense anyway, and they don’t know the things Phil knows. They think Phil and Dan are engaged to be married, happily in love, not just two best friends where one of them got them into this horrific mess.

“He didn’t come down with you when you left the hotel?” Joshua replies simply, like he knows.

“He doesn’t have to?”

“Give me some credit, Phil. You two are attached at the hip.”

“Am not,” Phil groans, rolling his eyes because people always say that, and he never understands it. Sure, they do a lot of things together, but they don’t do _everything_ , they are capable of doing things alone.

“Don’t be petty for the sake of it, you cannot deny that you two are always together,” Joshua laughs.

Phil grumbles in reply and when Joshua guesses that is all he is getting, he speaks up again.

“Whatever you did, apologise for it, Phil. It isn’t worth it.”

“What makes you think I did something?” Phil’s head shoots up with a frown written across his forehead. Why can’t Dan have done something? Why is he to blame?

“Hazarding a guess?”

Phil rolls his eyes, looking back at his empty drink instead of Joshua, cursing himself for drinking it too quickly because now he doesn’t have an excuse to up and leave.

He knows he should leave anyway, here isn’t where he should be when he’s in this mood and especially when Dan hates the ground he walks on. He knows he shouldn’t want to go home, because this is a single event that’s never going to happen again and he _should_ be enjoying partying with his friends but the idea of having fun whilst Dan hates him, isn’t a plan he has right now.

“Is it okay if I leave after this one?” He says eventually. He’s sure that Joshua thinks the conversation is over but when Phil looks up, Joshua is staring right at him, probably expecting something like that from Phil. He has a gentle smile on his face, something in his eyes that Phil feels guilt for but he can’t place it.

“If it can save your relationship with Dan, then yeah, go for it.”

Phil nods into his drink, not really sure if Joshua understands what type of relationship they have. Phil isn’t too sure either. All he knows is that he wants it to be saved.

~*~

It takes him a little while after that conversation with Joshua to be where he is now, outside his hotel room. That’s mainly because the waitress gave them their drinks and immediately after Joshua’s father called for another, and then two of Joshua’s friends got two rounds in afterwards too. So truth be told, Phil had had one too many drinks and now is a little further beyond tipsy.

But that’s okay, because he’s outside his hotel room and Dan surely should be in there.

He tries to put his key into the door but when he realises it’s unlocked, it fills him with the hope that Dan is in the room and that they can speak. Pushing the door open, he sees the lights are turned off bar one table lamp on Dan’s side of their bed, and when he looks to the left he sees Dan lying on the bed, with his eyes glued to his phone.

“I didn’t know if you had your key with you, I didn’t want you to be stuck outside all night,” Dan mumbles once Phil closes the door behind him. Phil takes one look at him and he looks tired, way too tired. Like he has been walking around all day with no purpose and exhausted himself. He wants to ask what he’s been doing, but he knows he isn’t entitled to that information.

“Did you stay out all day?” Phil replies softly with a question, not wanting to dwell so much on the fact Dan was still caring about him even if they were arguing.

“Didn’t think I was supposed to give you a play by play of my day?” Dan snaps all too bitterly and Phil jumps a little. He isn’t sure if that’s the alcohol though.

“Dan,” Phil sighs. He shoves off his trainers and kicks them towards the shoe rack by their front door and pads forward to sit on the bottom of the bed by Dan’s feed. His brain tells him to reach out and lay his hand on Dan’s calf, but the ounce of soberness he has left in him chooses against it.

“What?” Dan says in the same tone that Phil has. Phil is not sure if it’s to mock him or because Dan genuinely feels that way.

“Can we talk about this?”

“About what?” Dan looks around as if the thing they need to talk about is in the room and Phil has to bite his lip so he doesn’t spark up another argument.

“You’re so stubborn,” He says instead, which arguably, isn’t much better but Phil is drunk with his inhibitions lowered.

“I don’t think you’re in a place to call me things, Phil.”

“What have I done wrong?”

“You can’t see it?” Dan looks up at him then, his phone throws off to the side albeit gently, not like he’s genuinely mad. He does seem a little frustrated in his tone, but it’s not enough to worry Phil.

“No? That’s why I want to speak about it.”

“Well, I don’t,” He replies too quickly, far too quickly that Phil doesn’t even catch it until his brain repeats it for him.

“How are we meant to solve things?” Phil almost whispers.

“You really can’t see what’s up with me?” He breathes, his voice is soft. It’s almost like he doesn’t want to raise his voice above a whisper, the same level as Phil’s, because anything louder could bring the world crashing down on the both of them.

It takes a while for Phil to reply, but not too long. He sits there, because he does know what’s up with them but he is too scared to talk about. Even the amount of liquid courage in his system isn’t enough to let him talk.

“No?”

“Of course you don’t! You’re so blind.”

“You know what,” Phil groans, running his hand through his hair out of nothing more than frustration. “I can’t do this right now, I need to take my contacts out.”

“Take your contacts out and go to sleep, you’re drunk anyway. You won’t remember what we talk about.”

Phil rolls his eyes as he stands up _with great difficulty_ , because the fresh air has hit him and made him so much tipsier, and heads towards the bathroom, turning the light on as he does. He doesn’t bother shutting the door behind him so the bathroom light just drifts through into the bedroom whilst he gets on with it.

He takes out his contacts, putting them into the small container that he leaves by his sink, before quickly washing his face.

He turns back around as he unbuttons his shirt, switching the bathroom light off as he steps out to meet the darkness of the bedroom area. Dan has turned the bedside lamp off in the time Phil had been in the bathroom and is now under the covers in their bed.

Phil knows he isn’t asleep. Dan knows he isn’t asleep. Everyone on this Earth knows this game and Dan definitely isn’t asleep right now, but Phil doesn’t want to even entertain the idea of pushing it right now.

He gets into bed, still careful to not invade any personal space that Dan may have secretly set between them and tries to sleep, even though his head is already beginning to pound. He isn’t sure if that is even due to the alcohol in his system or a headache from arguing with Dan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiiii everyone :3 hope you're all well!!!
> 
> the cocktail bar that i imagined phil in is [here](http://www.three-sixty.gr/)!! it's a real bar :) it's very pretty
> 
> ALSO IMPORTANT idk if you all would have noticed on the tags page but ive been writing a short lil chaptered fic called _seeing stars, sinking these dreams_ and it's a three parter halloween 19th october parent!phan fic :3 its very cute and im uploading the last chapter tomorrow on halloween so it's a great time to read it!!! i am planning to add to it with lil one shots whenever i'm bored and want to write so i really hope u all enjoy :D  
> [it's here!](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27105091/chapters/66186592)


	14. Chapter 14

Phil stirs and it feels so early in the morning for him. He reaches forward, hoping to catch Dan’s sleeping body under the duvet so he could have some comfort. But when his hand rests down onto the duvet, it’s hit with nothing and he frowns.

Only a frown, hurts. It stings and makes his stomach whirl a million miles per hour before it eventually settles again. He turns around, onto his back to allow his stomach to stretch out without any pressure and he feels a little better, but he doesn’t dare open his eyes.

It feels far too bright to do that.

Phil isn’t sure he has had a hangover this bad in a while. Ever maybe. He doesn’t really drink and all the reasons as to why that’s the case comes running back to him.

Phil groans as his eyes slowly open up. Ignoring the pounding headache that he’s greeted with almost instantly, his eyes take a while to adjust to the light and the headache settles slowly.

He’s so focused on the stabbing pain behind his eyeballs that he barely registers the sound of the bathroom door open and the rush of warm air coming into the bedroom with it. He forces his eyes to focus on the blurry blob coming out of the room and heading to Dan’s side of the bed to pick up god knows what.

Once said blob comes closer, it’s much easier for him to make out Dan.

“Good morning,” Phil croaks out and cringes instantly, it feels like he has been shouting for hours but instead he has been sleeping. “Where are you going?”

“Out,” Dan says abruptly but Phil’s too sleepy to even notice. He does look at him though and senses an urgency in the way he’s moving so Phil speaks quickly.

“Wait, let me get changed. Give me a couple of minutes,” Phil instantly jumps out of bed at this, ignoring the churning of his stomach and the way the room is spinning. He is determined to put this argument behind them, act as nothing has happened.

“I’d rather go alone, actually?” Dan says quietly, and Phil almost misses it with the sound of the blankets rustling and the sound of his heart beating out of his chest. Clearly, Dan has other ideas of putting this argument behind them.

Dan looks at him for the first time this morning and all Phil can see is a pleading look across his face even without his glasses on, like he is begging for Phil to leave him alone. Maybe there is a reason for it and maybe Phil should listen, at least for now.

Phil does not even have a chance to reply because Dan finishes grabbing the things on the bedside table and walks out of Phil’s sight bubble, turning into the formless blob again heading towards the door into the world.

He sees the blob linger for a minute and he is not sure what for. He _does_ go to speak but just as he opens his mouth, Dan is gone, and the door is slamming behind him. The noise is enough to make Phil’s heart fall through his chest.

Falling back down onto the bed instantly, he ignores how that upsets his stomach and stares at the ceiling.

Dan _lingered_.

Or at least Phil thinks he did, he isn’t too sure. He didn’t have his glasses on but from what he could see, Dan stood at the front door for longer than he necessarily needed to, like he was looking for something. Maybe at Phil?

Maybe he was giving Phil a chance to say something, but Phil’s stupid hungover brain took far too long to catch up that it was too late, and Dan just left anyway like he had planned.

~*~

A few hours pass and Phil manages to get out of bed. He doesn’t bother with a shower, or getting ready properly, because he knows that he is going to head to the pool for an hour or so to think, and doing so would be a bit redundant once the chorine hits his hair.

He can’t think in their hotel room anyway. Everything just reminds him of Dan.

The bathroom, where they often stand together getting ready for bed, brushing their teeth over one sink even though they have a hotel room with couples sinks, they don’t need to share. The lounge area of the bedroom, where they’ve passed time sitting on the sofa watching the world go by in their floor to the ceiling window wall, deciding where they want to go with their day at the beginning of their holiday before everything got messy.

The bed is even worse for Phil. It just reminds him of the last moments they had together because Phil panicked and made it seem like he regrets their actions, Dan on top of him with their tongues in each other's throats.

Because now, it’s clear to Phil. He spent hours in their bed this morning to realise why Dan is hurt and acting upset.

In reality, Phil doesn’t actually know but he has a good idea. But he doesn’t know what that means for them.

Dan must have been upset because Phil pushed him away whilst they were making out, and he was thinking Phil didn’t want it. This doesn’t mean that Phil thinks that Dan wants him back, but maybe they need to clear it up.

Maybe Dan just wanted a hook up and is horrifically insulted that Phil did not want him?

That seems like the most possible situation, Phil thinks to himself. But he shouldn’t think about that anymore, because he is aware it is eating away at him and he can’t do _anything_ until Dan is back. There’s no point dwelling on it.

Getting out of bed brings him in front of his suitcase, with the few things that they had not packed away into the wardrobes that the hotel had given them with the room. He doesn’t miss his pastel pink swimming bottoms before getting completely undressed and slipping them on instead.

He takes his socks off and throws them into the pile of dirty clothes, along with the clothes that he was wearing five seconds prior, and stands up to walk around to his bedside table. Seeing his sunglasses, he picks them up and slides them onto his face, deciding that they are crucial to his hangover recovery programme that he has noticed is still lingering.

He doesn’t bother with his phone because Dan definitely isn’t going to text him today anyway, so he leaves it behind, making sure to grab his room key before shutting the door behind him to head to the pool.

~*~

Truth be told, he does not really know why he thinks the pool is a good idea. He is recovering from a hangover and decides to spend his morning and early afternoon in probably one of the loudest areas of the hotel, because it’s flooded with children. In the least horrific way possible.

Walking to the outdoor pool is a lot more awkward then he thinks through because he has to walk through the busiest areas of the hotel, pretty much naked. He’s only wearing his swimming bottoms as he walks into the main lobby, head down and ignoring everyone he walks past.

He doesn’t really want to speak to anyone today.

But that doesn’t mean the world has that planned for him.

“Phil!”

He hears it coming from behind and spins on his heels, a little wobbly on his feet due to his fragile state.

“Thought so, could tell by the pink shorts,” Joshua chuckles, slowing down his movements to stand in front of Phil.

Joshua doesn’t look too much better than him, but he is recovering well enough.

“Hi, Joshua,” Phil smiles, even though it’s definitely fake and they both know it. “How was the rest of the stag do?”

“It was pretty cool, nothing without my good best friend Philip Lester, but what can you do?” Joshua laughs, shrugging as he teases him.

“Sorry about that,” Phil cringes.

“Did you sort it out? Did you speak to Dan?” He says, stretching out onto his tip toes to look around behind Phil. Phil assumes that he is looking for Dan behind them, maybe ahead of him in the bar and Phil is catching up with him or something.

But when Joshua’s eyes dim and his smiley face turns upside down, almost comedically and Phil would point that out if he was in a better mood himself, he knows that Joshua can’t see Dan and knows they haven’t resolved whatever is going on between them.

“No, he wouldn’t speak to me last night,” Phil replies quietly, frowning.

“Sorry mate, give him time though yeah?”

“Sure,” Phil says bitterly, because how could he give Dan any more time than what he has given him? There is a day until the wedding, it is tomorrow, and he doesn’t know how they are going to be okay by then. Especially if Dan doesn’t want to speak to him.

All he gets in response is a pat on the shoulder, a rather aggressive lads way of saying goodbye or see you later, which makes Phil’s stomach whirl a little bit before settling again.

Phil just turns back around and continues making his way to the pool. He isn’t even sure why he wants to go there. It’s not like he is going to make it to the pool area and all of the wrongs in the world are going to be made right, but he made this plan and he is sure as hell going to stick to it.

Turns out, walking to the pool means walking through the bar room that they have spent far too much time in throughout this holiday, and the smell of it doesn’t aid his stomach in the slightest but he ignores it as he presses on into the outdoor pool area.

When he gets there, he notices Cornelia immediately. He isn’t sure how he couldn’t spot her, because she is pretty much the only person on the sun loungers who has ice white pale skin and bright red hair, that she promises hasn’t come from a box but no one believes her.

“Hi, Corn.”

“Hi, honey,” She smiles at him and as she does, she pulls her own sunglasses down to look behind him frowning. “Where’s Dan?”

It takes all of his remaining energy to not roll his eyes and groan about how even if they were married, they are capable of doing things alone every once in a while. Phil _can_ come to the pool without Dan.

“Oh he isn’t here,” Phil says casually as he sits down on the free sun lounger next to her. He hesitates for a second, thinking that this is a space reserved for Martyn and he just hasn’t spotted him, but when he sits down and he doesn’t hear screams about how someone’s brother has nabbed their seat, he relaxes into it to lie down.

“Where is he?” Cornelia asks conversationally, mirroring Phil’s position by lying down on the sun lounger.

“He went out.”

“Without you,” Cornelia gasps, chuckling slightly. “He left poor little Phil to fend for himself?”

“I can do things without him.”

There it is. He would feel guilty but he _has_ been holding that in for several days now.

“Oh I know, do you see Martyn here? Of course not, but you two are always attached at the hip, especially during this holiday,” She says calmly, like she doesn’t think he has ever heard those words before.

It’s almost like everyone on this holiday has the same script to follow.

“Yeah, you’re right,” He replies because it is simpler than arguing, and he needs to learn how to not automatically argue with people that he cares about apparently. “Where is he?”

“God knows, I think he said he was going to go off with someone, maybe your mother, to the stereotypical tourist shops. I couldn’t bear it so I’m here.”

“We had a fight.”

Phil rips the metaphorical plaster off and just comes out with it. This is why he is down here, after all, to find a solution to all of his problems. All of his problems, being Dan and Dan only.

He does cringe quickly and quietly remembering that Cornelia _was_ talking about something and he just ignored it, but he is sure Cornelia understands.

“You and Martyn?” Cornelia says slowly, as if she does know it isn’t him and Martyn, and definitely knows it’s with someone else but wants to clarify.

“No, Dan.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Well, what is it about?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Phil rushes to say, because he doesn’t think now is the time to talk about how they have faked a relationship for this entire week. “But he won’t even speak to me now because I did something, I think, to upset him.”

“You think?”

“Okay, I know,” Phil groans, eventually moving one of his arms to cover his eyes. Even though he is wearing sunglasses, they aren’t necessarily helping him with the eye strain that comes with the sunlight and a hangover.

“So you did something to upset him and he won’t speak to you?”

“Yeah.”

“Is he worth it?” She says quietly after a while.

“Always,” It startles Phil at just how quick he says this. It’s not like his thoughts about Dan were ever a secret to him, but he didn’t know just how strong they were.

“Then speak to him,” Cornelia says, as if it’s the easiest thing in the world. Phil knows it isn’t and he’s about to say exactly that but she opens her mouth again to continue speaking. “Try to understand him. You may not think there’s a worthy argument here but he’s clearly upset about something.”

“He won’t let me.”

“Sometimes you have to push them a little bit,” She continues, as if Phil didn’t even speak. “Ask Martyn, if we argue and he doesn’t want to speak to me. I don’t leave him alone until we talk about it. I wouldn’t suggest it for all situations in life because if someone doesn’t want to speak to you, leave them alone, but for this, it works.”

Phil thinks about it for a while, maybe a few minutes, probably more like ten. He needs to be cruel to kind, to some degree.

He doesn’t want to force Dan to speak to him, and if Dan genuinely doesn’t want to, he will let him continue to ignore Phil, and he will wallow in self pity about potentially fucking up one of the other relationships in his life that he genuinely cares about, but it’s worth a try nonetheless.

“Thank you,” Phil says suddenly and quietly.

He would think that Cornelia didn’t hear him but he makes sure she knows when he quickly stands up, ignoring the headrush he gets from doing exactly that, and leans over to kiss her on the forehead. It’s one of those ugly and sloppy kisses that people only reserve for when they have to _really_ annoy someone.

She hates it, but also kind of loves it. She groans and whines about how annoying Phil is but when he backs off and begins to walk back to his hotel room, he turns around to see her smiling at him. The smile that people reserve for other people that they love.

He doesn’t meet anyone on the way back to his hotel room and for that he is glad. He wants to keep all his energy for Dan.

~*~

Even if Phil wants to speak to Dan immediately, that doesn’t mean that is going to happen. That isn’t going to happen because hours pass and there’s absolutely no sign of Dan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> apologises that this chapter is a lil short than recent but the next chapter is very important and i wanted to cut it off safely before that moment
> 
> also sending positive energy to everyone in the world rn, with what's going on in america right now it's really sucky. Really sucky. but just take some time away from the media for a while, drink some water and make sure you get enough sleep. it's going to be completely fine, we got this :) <3


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hii sorry for the delay on getting this out ;___; but im back :D

_Cornelia: Have you spoke to him yet? X_

_Phil: No, he isn’t back yet :/_

_Cornelia: Keep waiting for him x_

Phil sighs as he throws his phone back onto the bed beside him. He has been waiting for hours for Dan to return, but Dan hasn’t said anything about returning. Maybe it will be the same as the previous night, when Dan comes back in the late hours of the evening.

Phil has been texting him though.

_Phil: I know you’re not going to reply to me_

_Phil: but_

_Phil: I would like to speak to you at some point_

_Phil: about ~you know~_

_Phil: once we speak about it you can go back to ignoring me if you want but I just want to sort this out Dan :(_

It doesn’t surprise him that Dan doesn’t respond. In truth, he doesn’t entirely know whether he deserves a reply, whether that be a small _ok_ or a lengthy reply.

He has realised over time that the reason why Dan is mad at him is because Phil pushed him away. He has established that by now, but he doesn’t really know _why_ Dan is mad at him for that.

So many thoughts go around his head looking for a reason why, but he tries to stop himself, because he isn’t going to ever get the true reason as to why Dan is upset by just guessing constantly. Dan is the only one who can really tell him that, because Dan is the only one who knows his own emotions.

He tries to stop himself by pacing the length of the room time and time again, stopping by the window every now and again to look at the Athenian streets below him, because he _is_ trying to distract himself but he isn’t perfect. He looks out the window like they are not on the fifth floor of the hotel, and like Phil would not be able to see Dan walking down the street back into the hotel if he _really_ tried.

Truth be told, however, Phil is pretty certain that he would be able to spot Dan returning anyway, if he looks hard enough at the streets below. That isn’t because he has particularly good eye sight or anything, it’s because Phil is certain that he would be able to spot Dan out of a huge group of people regardless.

That is just how they _are_.

He walks away from the window on his seventh walk around their room, and sits back onto the bed with a sigh. He shuffles backwards, pressing his back against the solid wood of the headboard on the bed and reaches for his phone that he had long abandoned when he came in the room a few hours ago.

Checking, even though he knows he doesn’t need to bother, for a new texts and he undoubtedly does have a few text messages, but not from Dan.

_Cornelia: Any news? x_

_Mum: Hi child! Hope to see you again before the wedding? Maybe we can see each other for dinner with the whole gang?! Let me know x_

_Joshua: Send me a quick text to let me know you are okay bud :)_

He knows that he should probably reply to them, especially Joshua’s message asking if he is okay. But he can’t stomach it right now, it doesn’t feel like talking to anyone other than Dan, and whilst Dan isn’t around. That means Phil doesn’t necessarily want to talk to anyone.

Closing the iMessage app, he decides to open Twitter for a means of escape. It is not ever perfect, but Phil can sometimes rely on Twitter to distract himself from his thoughts. Not only is it a place full of memes and funny tweets from people a million times funnier than himself, it is also a place where the majority of his audience sits.

Swiping onto the notification section of the app, he scrolls for a moment, not really looking anything in particular but scrolling, nonetheless. He sees a few pieces of art that grow his attention; one of Phil holding a little kitten with dark grey and white fur which makes Phil smile and another is a still screenshot from a recent video that he uploaded before they were in Greece, which feels like a million years away from where he is right now.

He likes them both because he knows that makes fan artists really happy, that he is directly showing appreciation for how much amazing art is within the community, and continues scrolling down his notifications.

There’s another piece of art that gets his attention but this one is a little different. It isn’t just him this time. It’s both him and Dan and he can’t stop staring at it.

It’s the pair of them in a flower field, and saying they are both surrounded by flowers is an understatement. There’s delicately drawn flowers in every corner of the drawing, there’s even one in Dan’s hair, which of course the artist has drawn Phil’s hand inching closer to Dan’s face, like he put it there himself.

Dan has that stupid blush spreading across his face like he loves it, he loves Phil touching him and that’s enough for Phil to shut his phone and look away.

That’s the thing. Artists love to fulfil their shipping fantasies with art, and neither Dan and Phil minded that. But this one stings a little, because it’s also now a fantasy of Phil’s own.

In a way, it always has been. Phil has _always_ wanted that, but it took until this holiday and this wedding to realise it, to realise how much of a fool he has been to ask Dan to pretend to be in love with him too because it has only made those thoughts louder.

It has allowed him to imagine how this could have been. If the pining was mutual.

It was easy for him to pretend he wasn’t in love with Dan when he didn’t really pay attention to those thoughts in the back of his head, but he doesn’t know how he is going to cope with knowing they are there, going home like this holiday didn’t happen.

~*~

Phil’s scrolling through this third look on Facebook, which shows the dire thing he is in, when the front door of their hotel room comes swinging open and Dan returns home. Phil looks up at him and he looks exhausted, even more than the night before, like he has been crying the entire time he’s been out the house.

That stings.

“Dan,” Phil jumps up from the dent he had been making in the bed from sitting on it for a long period of time.

“I don’t want to speak to you, right now.”

“Please.”

“Phil,” Dan whines quietly, like he knows Phil asking please is enough to win him over and he doesn’t want that just yet. Phil does know that if he was pushing Dan, he would not forgive himself but he _wants_ to listen and hear his best friend out.

“I want to listen?”

Dan groans, running his hand through his hair as his eyes dart around the room like he is trying to look anywhere other than Phil while he speaks.

“Please?” Phil offers again, a little bit quieter than before.

Dan looks at him again, and this time he truly does see just how red rimmed his eyes are, and that hurts Phil more than anything. Not that Dan won’t speak to him, that he has been upset enough to _cry_ , something Phil has seen Dan only do in front of him a handful of times.

“Okay, let me get changed,” He replies, but he still sounds reluctant to do that. Phil is just grateful his best friend is willing to hear him out.

“Okay.”

Phil sits back onto the bed, but not comfortably, almost like when you go to your friends house for the first time as a child and you are too scared to touch anything let alone move.

He watches as Dan walks around to his side of the bed and grabs a pair of sweatpants and a random black tshirt from his wardrobe and turns around to head to the bathroom. He hesitates, and for a second Phil thinks that Dan is going to get changed in the room in front of him, but he doesn’t and he shuts the door behind him in the bathroom.

Phil is grateful of one thing, that Dan didn’t literally strip in front of him.

He doesn’t have to occupy his brain whilst Dan gets ready because he is more or less in and out of the bathroom within a minute. When he comes back into the bedroom, he doesn’t look at Phil for a second and makes his way back to the edge of the bed, mirroring Phil’s discomfort.

“Okay, I get it,” Dan begins, closing his eyes as he speaks and he looks almost in _pain_. Phil just wants to reach out and grabs his hands to hold them, for comfort, but he knows he cannot do that right now. Not until they speak this out, at the very least.

“What?”

“I know what you’re going to say.”

“I’m not going to say anything,” Phil says, looking down at Dan’s hands that are on his lap. He’s fidgeting with them, an act of anxiety that Phil has seen him do a fair few times.

“Huh?” Dan frowns, looking at him for the first time since he returned to the bedroom. “So what is going on here?”

Dan uses his finger to show Phil what he had been talking about by _here_.

“I want to hear what is upsetting you,” Phil speaks softly.

“No, you don’t,” Dan laughs loudly, a polar opposite to Phil’s previous tone.

“I do, and I want to understand what’s upset you so much.”

Dan doesn’t speak for a while and Phil is really about to sigh frustratedly, asking why the _fuck_ Dan thinks that’s talking and ending it at that. But then Dan shuffles in his seat, probably to get comfortable and leans more into Phil’s area of the bed, like he wants to get closer but not _too_ close.

“I don’t think you do, but I’ll try?” Dan bites his lip as he speaks, like he doesn’t want to but he looks at Phil for a second and all of the angry in his face dissolves and he nods.

“All I ask.”

Dan hesitates.

“What’s this all about?”

“The other morning,” he replies, starting but unable to think of how to finish it. “It was..”

“Did I overstep and pressure you in any way?” Phil jumps at the opportunity to speak, clearly panicked. He knows he said he wanted to listen to Dan, but the sheer thought of him pressuring Dan in any way at all, was too much for him. He had to know.

“Oh god no,” Dan is quick to reply. “Definitely not. It was completely consensual.”

“Okay thank god.”

Phil feels the relief flood through him. The first time during their entire conversation that he has felt that way.

“That’s exactly the issue.”

“Huh?” Phil frowns, feeling his entire browbone mush into the middle of his face almost, from the intense frown he is doing. How can it be a problem that whatever they did was completely consensual? Phil does not understand that. That is definitely a good thing, not a negative.

“I didn’t have a problem with it.”

“And that’s an issue?” Phil says slowly, just to make sure he has the situation correct in his head.

“You clearly did and I overstepped by allowing you to think I wasn’t _feeling_ anything. And I was. A lot,” Dan says this all too quickly, like he doesn’t want to say it at all. Like it was point blank the worst thing imaginable, making him feel sick to his stomach, which makes Phil frown even deeper.

Phil doesn’t reply though, because even though Dan sounds absolutely disgusted with what he is saying, he can kind of relate. He couldn’t quite believe it, because it sounds like Dan is feeling the exact same way that Phil is feeling, maybe not as strong but still present nonetheless, and that isn’t believable.

“I just think this whole fake relationship has made me realise a few things and it took _that_ morning to make me realise that.”

“So, what you’re saying is?” Phil trails off, again, making sure he has the entire situation correct in his head. He doesn’t want to get the wrong end of the stick and say something that would make this conversation worse than it already is.

“I think I have a crush on you, Phil.” Dan sighs, falling back onto the bed with a thud and a groan. “This is so dumb, I feel like an absolute child but the other morning definitely made me realise it when I actually really enjoyed kissing you.”

_What?_

Phil is pretty sure his heart stops right there and then. It’s not exactly a shock to him, because the conversation had been leading that way from the start, but to hear those words.

Dan Howell has a crush on him. Dan, his best friend, has a crush on him. Dan likes him.

Phil giggles after a couple of seconds once the realisation hits him properly and that doesn’t help things.

“Wot?”

Phil sighs, rolling his eyes.

“Wha-“ Dan begins to repeat himself but is cut off by Phil.

“Are you serious? You couldn’t tell me that?”

“Give me credit where it’s due Phil, it isn’t a small thing. I’m saying I have a _crush_ on you. I like you more than a friend would like someone. I fancy you. I want to kiss y-“

Phil shuffles forward almost instantly, putting his hands on Dan’s cheeks without thinking, and places his own lips on Dan’s.

Phil is so soft and gentle and maybe if Dan melted into the kiss, it would have deepened but instead, Dan pushes Phil away far too quickly. And when Phil sees a frown on his face, he realises that kissing him wasn’t the best solution. Maybe Dan didn’t get the message clear enough.

“Phil this isn’t a joke to me? You can’t just kiss me, and it all be okay suddenly. This is my feelings we’re talking about here,” Dan sighs a little frustrated and angry by the sounds of the tone.

“Dan,” Phil suppresses the urge to roll his eyes again so soon when he hears Dan, but he turns to face him properly, taking his hands in his own and intertwining their fingers. “This isn’t a joke to me either.”

“Does that mean-?” Dan is staring at their intertwined hands, with a blush spreading across his face.

“I may have a little bit of a crush on you too, you muppet.”

It’s Dan who leans in this time, and Phil doesn’t push him away. He couldn’t help howhis eyelids flutter closed when their mouths meet for the second time in the last minute.

The kiss, is soft and questioning, like Dan isn’t sure whether he believes that Phil really wants it, allowing him to put a stop to it if he wants to. But Phil doesn’t want to, so he presses deeper, taking control of the kiss completely.

Phil presses his tongue against Dan’s lips to gain entry and when he does, their tongues meet instantly. He tastes like coffee, the coffee that they have accessible downstairs and mint. He moves his hand to cup the side of Dan’s cheek, and allows his fingers to play with the short hair behind his ear.

Dan hums at this and places his hand on Phil’s thigh, rubbing circles before Phil moves backwards to lean against the headboard again.

Dan follows, because of course he does and rests his body hesitantly on top of Phil’s. Dan brings his other hand, the one that isn’t now resting on Phil’s hipbone through his tshirt, to the back of Phil’s head, like Phil’s head needs to be protected and cradled.

Phil allows for Dan’s body to blanket his own and he basks in it, for god knows how long – maybe ten minutes, maybe one. He isn’t sure. But all he is sure of is when Dan breaks away, breathing heavily against Phil’s lips.

He opens his eyes and sees a gentle smile spreading across Dan’s face and that’s when he knows everything, everything in the last few days, has been completely worth it to see _that_ smile again.

“Okay, we definitely need to talk about this more,” Phil breathes out, trying to catch his breath whilst Dan makes no attempt to move off the top of him. Legs intertwined and Phil can’t help but love it.

Dan feels hot, like his body is on fire and all Phil can feel is cold, like he needs to keep Dan close to him to remain warm. He spreads his legs as best as he can with someone on top of him, so Dan can slot in between them comfortably.

“Yeah, I was thinking the same thing,” Dan chuckles, the blush on his cheeks apparent. Phil leans up to press his lips onto Dan’s cheek impulsively and Dan leans into it. “Me saying I have a crush on you is a little bit of an understatement.”

“Meaning?” Phil can’t help the smile on his face. He feels like his cheeks are aching from being forced into a smile for too long.

“I like you a whole lot more than that, Phil. I was thinking about it, I think it’s been going on a while?” Dan bites his lip again, and Phil wants to kiss him to tell him to stop, but he realises that may be a little too much.

“Okay, well that’s good because I feel exactly the same way,” Phil’s mouth still aches but he somehow smiles even wider.

“Are you sure you’re not saying that because you feel like you have to?” This makes Phil’s stomach drop for a second, because Dan doesn’t _believe_ him.

“Dan,” Phil chuckles softly, his breath fanning across Dan’s cheek. “No, the reason why I panicked the other day was because I felt like I wasn’t being honest. I really love you, like a lot. And I felt like maybe you just wanted a hook up, I couldn’t do that to you or myself. So I pushed you away rather than speaking to you.”

“I guess our rock solid communication that our audience thinks we have wasn’t really on show lately,” Dan chuckles and Phil returns it. He stares out the window for a while.

“Hey,” Dan grabs his attention, his voice is soft and gentle, like he is trying to get a kittens attention and doesn’t want to startle them. “I love you too.”

Phil isn’t sure who leans in this time, maybe they both meet halfway, but their lips meet again and it’s perfect.

He pulls away a little, thinking that they may have more to talk about, but Dan just follows him, grabbing a handful of Phil’s shirt to set him in place, causing Phil to groan.

Phil laughs a little into the kiss, but Dan isn’t having any of it. He doesn’t have time to react because Dan spins Phil over, so Phil’s body is pressing into his own and Dan’s lying on the bed now and that’s enough of a message Phil needs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I said in the beginning notes, I'm so sorry for taking ages! My uni work has got so bad and stressful, and my personal life is So stressful and /a lot/ at the moment that I just can't do anything else other than uni work and sulking over being stressed
> 
> I will try and post more but I can't promise weekly until I'm on break for Christmas! So, maybe I won't post next week, but I might the next and then after that, I'm off for Christmas until February so I'll have so much time to write and finish this fic <3
> 
> I hope everyone is well. It was my birthday yesterday and obviously I've spent it in lockdown because the UK is currently in a complete lockdown again but I had a good day!


	16. Chapter 16

It is once again warm when Phil wakes up, but the warmth that Phil feels is not just from the fact Dan is wrapped around his waist half asleep. The warmth he feels is all around him; the heat from the summer Athenian sun that is now shining down against their window, that they had left curtain-less throughout the night. He can see the very deep blue sky and the tops of all of the trees throughout the city, stretching up to the hills that are home to the Acropolis.

They had spent their evening, after a lengthy amount of time kissing and being giddy on each other’s existence, sitting by the window looking at the world below them. The city humming below them.

_”Don’t you think it’s crazy that everyone down there has their own thing going on?” Dan speaks softly into the room. They’ve been sitting silently for several minutes, just staring out of the window looking across the city of Athens below them and basking in each other’s attention. Phil is sitting back against the wall on the window seat, with a pillow cushioning his lower back. Dan has taken pride place directly in front of him, with his back resting against Phil’s chest, Phil’s legs either side of Dan’s body._

_“What do you mean?” Phil thinks he knows what Dan is talking about, but he isn’t going to deny himself any opportunity to hear Dan’s softly spoken voice talking about absolutely anything. Truth be told, Phil thinks that Dan could give him an entire hour long presentation on the skeletal system of a pigeon, and Phil would enjoy every second of Dan’s speech._

_“Like, we are up here, together doing our thing, and everyone down there is milling about to and from wherever. It’s just so odd to me, that everyone has their own little life, and they don’t really care about everything else, just themselves.”_

_“Yeah, I guess,” Phil smiles softly, leaning forward to prop his chin against Dan’s shoulder, turning in to place a gentle kiss against the crook of Dan’s neck._

_“Do you think they are as happy as I am right now?”_

_“You’re happy?”_

_“Why wouldn’t I be?”_

The warmth is also from deep inside his very being. He just feels so content that this is happening. This _is_ happening. Dan is curled up against his side, naked but still toasty. It is hard to be upset with the current situation when Phil had only been wanting it for the best part of ten years. 

If you had told Phil before this holiday that by the end of it, that he would be sleeping next to his best friend, and sleeping next to him meaning that Dan would be willingly cuddling into him, he would laugh you straight out of the door.

But he is here, living that moment and he feels so lucky.

He feels even more so knowing he is awake when Dan begins to stir from his slumber. To be awake when Dan mumbles in his sleep, stretching against the side of chest and his hand tightening the grip against nothing but Phil’s skin, is something that Phil doesn’t think he will ever be tired of seeing Dan clinging to his side.

He leans down and places a few hesitant and gentle kisses on the top of Dan’s head, and Dan leans into them. Once he rests his head back against the pillow, Dan’s head turns and he is showing off that goofy smile, dimples and all, that he always does.

“Morning,” Dan grumbles, stretching his body but not leaving Phil’s side. He wants to be glued to the other, and who can really complain? Phil can’t. “Are you sure you haven’t changed your mind since last night?”

Phil’s heart sinks at this. He isn’t sure if it’s the grumbling voice, still laced with sleep, or the fact Dan feels the need to double check.

“Nope, still here,” Phil smiles when Dan moves his head to look at him properly.

“Good.”

The smile that spreads across Dan’s face right then, Phil is pretty sure is enough to light up the entirety of Athens right now, maybe even the whole of Greece. And Phil cannot help but lean in to meet Dan in the middle when he sees Dan close his eyes and lean in too.

The kiss isn’t anything special, and if it wasn’t Phil kissing Dan, Phil would have thought it was actually kind of gross because of the morning breath and how they desperately need a shower due to being wrapped up in each other’s arms under the duvet under the Mediterranean sunshine.

But Phil still can’t get enough of it. Also, if it weren’t for it being Dan that he was kissing, he would have felt embarrassed for how needy he is being, but it’s Dan. And Dan is responding just as needy and demanding, so it feels okay.

His heart flutters when he feels Dan smile slightly into the kiss and push himself closer into Phil’s grip, forcing Phil to wrap his hand even tighter – almost like they both have the same idea, that they don’t feel close enough.

When Phil eventually pulls away, which could have been fifteen minutes or an hour, no one is really sure, he notices that Dan’s lips fall into a small pout and if it wasn’t for the genuine smile that appears immediately afterwards, he would have thought he upset Dan, but he didn’t and Dan is just upset that the kiss is over.

So, Phil leans in for another quick peck before pulling away finally. Phil knows he’s blushing. Dan knows that Phil is blushing too, but neither of them comments on it because they both know Dan is blushing too, with their sheets twisted around their knees and the mischievous twinkle in Dan’s eyes. The twinkle that Phil wants to question.

“We need to shower,” He says, smelling a quick whiff of either himself, or Dan, he isn’t too sure because they are both one.

“I totally agree,” Dan says with a huff and jumps up off of Phil’s side, to make his way off the bed. Phil doesn’t tear his eyes away when Dan walks his way to the bathroom door, completely bare of clothes, and he counts himself lucky that this is his reality and he gets up to follow.

~*~

Warm water droplets fall softly on his skin as he gets into the shower and he doesn’t dare search for Dan’s eyes as he leans his head into the water stream to get it soaking wet. It’s not that he is uncomfortable. He doesn’t hate being in this situation, if anything, it is quite desirable. But being in a shower, in broad daylight with his naked body exposed, is something Phil isn’t quite sure he likes.

He isn’t completely unconfident with his body. He is happy with what he has got going on. Growing up, it was difficult because seeing six packs and ripped guys in his high school, wasn’t great for his self esteem. But now, he feels a lot more confident. Sure, he doesn’t have a six pack and muscles upon muscles but he is healthy. His legs do their job. His arms do their job. His body does its job, so it’s a good body and that’s that.

But being naked in front of Dan is something different. And it’s not like it’s never been like that before, because they were incredibly intimate the night before and Dan has _seen_ differing parts of his body throughout the years, but now, in the morning light, it’s different.

“Hey?” Dan says softly, breaking Phil away from his thoughts. He doesn’t have to look at him to know that Dan has that gentle smile across his face.

“Hi,” Phil replies just as soft, looking up at him finally and seeing exactly what he thought would be appearing on Dan’s face.

“Are you uncomfortable?”

“No,” Phil begins, but breaks off when he realises he doesn’t exactly want to lie to Dan.

“You don’t have to shower with me if you don’t want to. If that’s too much,” Dan offers softly, reaching forward and grabbing Phil’s hand to intertwine with his own, squeezing as reassurance as he does so.

“No I do, it’s just-“

“Scary?” Dan supplies for him when he realises Phil isn’t going to finish his sentence.

“Kind of?” Phil agrees, a smile accidentally spreading across his face in lieu of a cringe attack after feeling exposed.

“What scares you?”

Phil sighs.

“It’s not that I’m not confident. I like my body but, this is a lot, you know?”

“Phil, you’re beautiful,” Dan replies almost instantly, like there had been no doubt in his head to say that. That he truly believes Phil is beautiful. “It really does upset me that you aren’t this completely confident being completely you because I think you’re a literal God.”

Phil hears the soft chuckle in Dan’s voice and he knows that Dan maybe feels uncomfortable still speaking his thoughts. He guesses that they both have things to work on here.

“I love your little face,” Dan says as he leans forward and presses a gentle kiss onto Phil’s forehead, muffling the end of his sentence slightly due to his lips being busy with other things.

“I love your cheeks.” Kiss.

“I love your lips.” Kiss.

“I love this neck.” Kiss.

“I love these shoulders.” Kiss. Kiss.

“I love this chest.” Kiss.

“These arms.” Kiss. Kiss.

“These hands.” Kiss. Kiss.

“These legs.” Kiss. Kiss.

“You’re so beautiful, Phil.”

Phil grumbles and Dan gets back up to eyesight with a frown.

“Shut up,” Phil giggles before Dan even has an opportunity to open his mouth to say something, and Phil’s giggle is apparently enough to make Dan break out into a smile and wipe the soaking wet strands of hair back off of his forehead before leaning in to kiss him again.

~*~

Getting ready for a wedding is a lot more difficult on this morning. Usually, they would get ready silently with the occasional comment made against each other and nothing more, but this time they could barely get their boxers on each before the other one makes their way over to them for a small kiss or any other means of attention.

It’s definitely what the honeymoon period feels like, he decides to himself finishing the zip of his smart black trousers, as he shifts his attention to his white button-up shirt that Dan has nicely ironed for him, as a nice boyfriend gesture Dan said but Phil knows it’s because Dan doesn’t think he can be trusted with an iron.

He snakes his arms into the sleeves and pinches each button as he fastens them, spinning around to grab his suit jacket and putting that on last.

It’s not very often that he gets to wear fancy suits, due to their line of work the only time they get to dress up fancy is for award ceremonies or _weddings_ and they don’t really go to many of those. He still bought a new suit all the same.

As he turns around to look over to Dan, his _boyfriend_ , something he isn’t too sure he is used to saying by now after only a day, he feels every syllable in his throat lodge.

“Hey,” Dan smiles as looks across to Phil, gripping the button hole area of his jacket to pull it tighter around him.

Phil isn’t sure how he has ever successfully hidden his attraction to Dan before, because he knows sure as hell that his reaction to seeing Dan looking this beautiful is obvious as hell.

Dan, wearing a black suit jacket with lace detailing over a plain black button-up dress shirt, with dark trousers that incidentally match Phil’s. Dan, with his curly locks lying perfectly on the top of his head, curlier than usual like he has run a curling iron through it, but Phil knows it’s just because he has done that long hair drying process that Phil doesn’t understand.

Dan looks beautiful and Phil isn’t sure how he’s ever pretended that Dan isn’t the most beautiful in the room.

“Did I ignore this reaction every time or is this a new level of pining unlocked?” Dan smirks as he steps closer to Phil, padding his way from the wardrobe to the edge of the bed where Phil had been getting ready. He laughs when Phil doesn’t respond straight away.

“You look so pretty,” Phil murmurs, snapping out of the trance Dan seemingly put him in and pulls Dan closer, winding his arms around his neck, giving him a small kiss on his lips before pulls away again, but not out of the embrace.

“Pretty, eh?” Dan teases, wrapping his arms around Phil’s waist likewise. “I guess you too.”

“You guess?” Phil rolls his eyes, faking annoyance.

“I mean yeah,” Dan pulls away, loosening his hands from Phil’s waist and takes a second to look across his body. His eyes graze up and down and he smiles widely before speaking again. “You’d look even prettier if you were dressed right.”

Phil frowns for a moment, but quickly realises the mistake when Dan’s hand reaches for the top button against his neck.

“You’ve buttoned it up wrong,” He says with a small chuckle, gently unbuttoning each and every button on Phil’s shirt, exposing his chest with every button. He pauses for a moment, and it’s enough for Phil to open his mouth to question it, but then Dan smirks again, resting the palm of his hand against the warm skin of Phil’s stomach, thumb rubbing the small amount of skin it can reach. “Told you.”

“Shut up,” Phil rolls his eyes again. He begins to pull away to rebutton his shirt himself, thinking Dan simply only made this up to get Phil naked again but the second he takes a step back, Dan’s hand is quick to pull him back by his suit jacket and wraps his fingers around his shirt buttons again.

“Let me fix it,” He whines.

So Phil does allow him, standing there whilst Dan messing with the buttons on Phil’s chest.

“It’s a good thing you noticed,” Phil murmurs, turning his head to be able to watch Dan do all the work. It’s risky business because the angle Phil is at would look horrific if Dan were to move and look up at him, but sneaking extra glances at Dan’s pretty face is worth it.

“Yeah you’d be the talk of the wedding with your nipples exposed, and imagine how pissed off

“My nipples were not exposed,” Phil laughs, watching as Dan steps back to grab Phil’s tie from the bed and

“Why didn’t you put this on before your suit jacket?” Dan sighs, fidgeting his fingers around the collar of Phil’s shirt and blazer in order to put the tie around his neck. It is obvious that they could just have just taken off the suit jacket and it would have been a lot easier, but Dan isn’t really one for accepting defeat.

“I don’t know,” Phil chuckles.

“You do like making things difficult for yourself.”

“Hm, so it seems,” Phil hums.

Dan quickly finished the process of tying the tie, ignoring the fact he had to restart it twice due to fumbling fingers, but Phil watches as his face crinkles in concentration whilst resting his hand against Phil’s chest. He notices how Dan’s fingers flinch and curl into the shirt which will inevitably cause little creases in the fabric but Phil can’t seem to care.

“There you go, pretty.”

“Now we both match,” Phil replies simply, making it obvious that they are talking about the _pretty_ comment.

“That’s so gay of you,” Dan laughs, the loud laugh that he normally reserves for Phil and Phil alone. It’s louder than what he allows his audience to hear, like he holds back and only becomes his true self around Phil.

“Of course,” he says, reaching forward and trailing his hand up to cup Dan’s cheek. He leans forward, lips coming together softly, moving fluidly against each other. He brings his arms up to snake around Dan’s waist tighter, even more to hold Dan tight against his own body.

Almost too soon, Phil pulls away, albeit reluctantly, watching as Dan mirrors what he knows is already on his face.

“We’ll be late if we don’t go downstairs now.”

~*~

Phil sees familiar faces all around him, friends from Manchester from high school and college, just people that he knows from his early life. Of course, those people were equally as close to Joshua as they were to him, maybe even more so.

There are people who he doesn’t know, however, who he can only assume are relatives and friends of Billie, the bride, or maybe some far extended family that Phil has no clue Joshua had. They were close enough to know most people in each other’s lives at one point, but Phil barely knew the person he was going to marry.

Maybe that’s something he needs to change.

He follows as Dan worms his way through the crowds into the seats that are lined up both sides of the large hallway.

A soft piano song plays in the background and Phil can’t help but use his hand to find Dan’s and intertwine their fingers. It is pretty early, to suggest that weddings make him emotional enough to have thoughts about his own, with Dan, but he’s telling himself that he needs to keep up appearances of being engaged himself, as an excuse of course.

They sit down, next to Cornelia and Martyn, and Phil looks around for a moment to locate his mother and father who happen to be sitting behind them. His mother already has tissues in her hand as if she’s _already_ started crying which makes a chuckle escape Phil’s throat.

“You sorted it out then?” Cornelia leans into his side and whispers.

He doesn’t need to reply all too much, other than a brief nod and snaking his hand around Dan’s waist, letting go of his hand to do so. He squeezes the side of Dan, where his hand is sitting, and pulls him closer to his side and Dan responds with a smile before leaving a brief kiss on his temple.

Turning his hand back to Cornelia, he sees a smile spreading across her lips as she turns her head back to face the front of the room.

Maybe one day he’ll explain to her _just_ how much they sorted out last night and how it’s nothing like she thinks, but today isn’t the day.

_Friends, we have been invited here today to share with Joshua Moore and Billie Roberts a very important moment in their lives._

_In the years they have been together, their love and understanding of each other has grown and matured, and now they have decided to live together as husband and wife._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiii everyone <3 i'm back this week with another chapter.. who would have thought :0
> 
> i'm so excited to be in ~this~ stage of the fic!! i have a few chapters left from here on out, maybe like four or five? embarrassing to say i'm not too sure BUT i always write way too much and have to split up chapters so that four/five may actually turn out to be 7 knowing me hahaha ;)


	17. Chapter 17

_By the power vested in me, by the state of Athens, I now pronounce you husband and wife._

_You may now kiss each other._

_I present to you, Mr and Mrs Moore._

The wedding is over way before Phil thought it would be. Although, Phil isn’t sure he even knew how long weddings would be, he’s never been to one in his adult life before now. It could easily have been an hour event just as much as it could have been a quick ten minutes in and out of the venue.

He hasn’t really given much thought to how he would like his own wedding to pan out. He assumes that he wouldn’t be having a church wedding, not that it has ever appealed to him or that he was able to even if he wanted it, due to the whole _gay marriage isn’t really seen as a valid marriage_ thought process that some churches have.

But other than that, nothing. Well, apart from knowing the other person will be a man. Absolutely nothing comes to mind about the day that is most to be the most memorable day of his life.

Phil is quickly shot from his train of thought at the gentle shuffling against him and when he turns his head, he notices everyone standing up to leave, following the bride and groom outside before heading to the wedding reception back at the hotel.

As he stands up himself, a hand is quickly slotted into his own and he doesn’t know why he feels a quick sense of surprise to see it’s Dan’s. The surprise quickly leaves as he rolls Dan out of their row of chairs before walking down the aisle hand in hand with Dan.

It shouldn’t seem like a metaphor, but Phil can’t help but think it is.

“You’re over thinking again,” Dan interrupts Phil’s plethora of thoughts, almost as if he can hear them in his own head. When Phil turns to look at Dan, there’s a shy smile across Dan’s lips that Phil can’t place. For a second, he thinks that maybe, just maybe, Dan is thinking the same thoughts he is.

They walk a lot slower, allowing people to overtake them as they leave the wedding hall. It can’t help but force a thought into Phil’s brain that they are _always_ the people dawdling at the back of a group, much rather the pair of them alone instead of being in a large group. It’s almost like they’ve always been happy just in each other’s company.

“I’m not,” He turns to say but instead he feels a hand against his cheek, dragging his face gently to face Dan. They come to a complete stop at the doorway which once again, puts too many thoughts in his mind.

“You are and I know you aren’t going to tell me, and instead let it dwell in your wonderful brain, but I am here. You can tell me anything Phil,” Dan says with a bright smile.

“Oh I know,” Phil replies all too quickly as they continue walking to leave the wedding hall and begin to walk down the steps.

He looks down at his hands, being gripped very lightly between Dan's thumbs and other fingers.

He thinks maybe he will tell Dan what he is thinking about in time, but not today. That’s way too much for their early stages in their relationship.

Although saying that, how long have they actually been dating? Since the other night when they actually confessed their feelings or when they first met in that train station all those years ago? Phil can’t be sure it’s the first one when memories of that first one exist.

_They were sitting on one of the old sofas in Phil’s lounge on the first night in Phil’s house. His mum had been temped to replace them with newer, more comfortable sofas but always changes her mind last minute and in this moment, Phil is grateful because he cant help feel the most comfortable he has ever been in his entire life._

_He didn’t think it was the seating arrangements that are making him comfortable, it was the presence he is blessed with._

_“Are you okay? You seem nervous?”_

_“You know me,” Phil said dismissively, not wanting to draw more attention to himself. “I’m nervous about everything. We’ve been through this; I’m bundle of nerves.”_

_Dan hummed in response and for one blissful moment, Phil thought that Dan wasn’t going to push it, that the conversation was over but then he felt Dan shuffle closer to him, knees touching each other gently._

_“What are you nervous about?” Dan did push._

_Phil turned his head to face Dan for a moment, and all he saw was a gentle smile and encouraging eyes. With hindsight, it was clear what that was but at the time, it felt so confusing._

_They were just two boys, confused and alone in a world that didn’t seem like it belonged to them or that they belonged to it._

_But in that moment, all Phil could feel was that he felt like he belonged here. In this moment with Dan and that was what led to him leaning forward with his lips pressed against Dan’s, hesitantly moving in sync._

Well, he doesn’t want to remember how that ended, because it doesn’t matter anymore because they are here finally. Whilst the relationship started off rocky, with the pair of them exploring their sexuality with the first person they knew _got it_ , leading to many arguments between the pair about how they should just stay friends, they got _here_.

Exactly where they should be, not a moment too late.

They walk down the steps together and huddle up in the crowd, full of people waiting to get in their taxi’s to go somewhere else before the reception, maybe their hotel if they weren’t lucky enough to get a room in the one the wedding was hosted in.

“Are you ever going to tell me what’s up?”

“Maybe, at some point,” Phil teases, his tongue escaping his mouth in the way Dan always mocks him for.

“You look cute when you do that, you know?” Dan replies, looking at Phil’s lips.

“Yeah?”

They hear a cleared throat and Phil tears his eyes away from Dan to notice a small woman with brass coloured hair in tight ringlets cascading over exposed shoulders. Phil couldn’t help but think she looks pretty, even if he couldn’t love women that way.

“Sorry to interrupt this lovely moment you’re having, but can I just say, you look lovely together?” The red haired lady smiles into her words, knowing there isn’t an ounce of awkwardness and embarrassment in them.

“We know,” They both say in unison and Phil’s head turns around quickly to look at Dan, who is already looking at him with a shy smile on his face.

Phil rolls his eyes and playfully pushes Dan to the side, before wrapping his hand back in Dan’s again so he can’t go too far away from him.

~*~

_It was the release day of their second world tour, Interactive Introverts, which they had been planning for the best part of a year, maybe more. Phil’s mother had sent them a huge box of cupcakes to celebrate, homemade of course, and they had no issue getting their way through them._

_It’s Dan and Phil, of course, they don’t have any issue making their way through a box of twenty-four cupcakes. It maybe would have been embarrassing to admit it was just the pair of them eating an entire box but it was over the course of a few days and they had no shame in it._

_And when Phil had gone into the kitchen to put their dirty plates in the sink for someone who is definitely not him to wash, he noticed one left in the box, absentmindedly picking it up and heading back into the lounge where Dan was waiting with a paused episode of Haikyuu!! on the screen._

_Phil sat down alongside Dan but he doesn’t notice the fact that the episode doesn’t continue being played as he tucked into the cupcake covered in buttercream icing._

_“Where’s mine?” Dan asked casually._

_“Huh?”_

_“You know, if you bring one to eat yourself it’s common decency to bring me one too?”_

_“Oh, uh,” Phil began to speak, not looking away from his cupcake in his hand that is instead of being covered in buttercream icing, is now covered in guilt. “This was the last one.”_

_“Oh.”_

_And that was it for Phil. He’s heard that **oh** before, countless times when Dan had been disappointed in the past._

_He looked sheepishly at Dan who was instead looking at the paused television before he held out his cupcake filled hand._

_“You can have half of it?” He said with a smile on his face, and as soon as Dan turned around and greeted him with the mirrored expression, he knew he did right._

_He watched as Dan took a bite of the cupcake before handing it back to him, allowing Phil to take a bite too._

_They continued like this until the cupcake was gone and Phil couldn’t feel any regret when he saw the smile on Dan’s face as he pressed play on the television again._

Phil wasn’t sure what he expected for the reception hall with several hundred people packed together in like sardines, with speakers blasting music from decades ago that are deemed party hits, but he wasn’t sure this was it.

Dan had left him a little while ago to speak to other people, Dan being the more confident and sociable person out of the pair of them even if this is technically an event that Dan is meant to be the plus one for. Phil is for sure meant to be the one doing rounds of speaking to the newly married bride and groom or interacting with high school friends he hasn’t seen since .. well high school, but instead he is sat on a fairly large round table with his parents, drinking a rum and coke that he has been nursing for about an hour.

His head is swarming with multicoloured lights flashing to the beat of a variety of songs being blasted through those speakers, all he wants to do is be with Dan but no, he has to be the unsociable one. It’s not that he hates social interaction, but he would much rather sit at the table with his parents.

Phil sighs as he wraps his hand around the glass in front of him, long empty because he didn’t waste any moments before downing his rum and coke and he had been far too lazy to buy another. Buying another meant more socialising.

He reaches for his phone in his pocket and unlocks it, scrolling through his Twitter notifications to look for any particularly interesting tweets to interact with and he _does_ find one, about to reply something witty before he feels a small tap on his shoulder, turning to find Dan returning with two drinks in hand.

“Could you take this one off me, please?” Dan mutters, moving his hands to indicate which one he is talking about as Phil nods taking one of them out of his hands and putting it on the table. “That one is yours.”

Phil hums, picking it back up and taking a swig without thinking too much about what the content was.

“How was interacting with people?”

“How was sulking on your own?” Dan counteracts with a chuckle which makes Phil’s eyes roll involuntarily.

“I wasn’t on my own, my mum was here a second ago!”

“Oh sorry,” Dan giggles before leaning forward and pressing his mouth to Phil’s temple. He moves away for a quick second before leaning back in and pressing a kiss lower down, and further down until he gets to Phil’s mouth and hums into the kiss properly.

Phil thinks he could drown in it, truthfully. He could easily drown in Dan if he allowed himself to just get lost in it, and he almost does but instead he hears the already loud singing getting louder, pulling away to see an old lady with bleach grey hair approaching them.

“You too look so in love,” The old lady sings, maybe having a little too much alcohol thrumming through her veins for her own good. It makes a chuckle escape Dan’s throat, maybe that is out of nerves or just because he finds the situation funny, but Phil doesn’t have time to ask before Dan replies.

“Thank you,” Dan replies, smile spread wide across his face like he means it. “We try.”

It’s the last part that makes the blush spread across Phil’s face, and he isn’t even too sure why.

“I hope you guys keep the spark between you both for many years to come.”

The old lady walks off, quickly followed by an equally aged man who is a bit slow in his footing to keep up with her.

“She was right, you know?” Phil says, a beat to quick for his own good so he stumbles over his words but the words do come out and that’s enough. He watches as Dan’s face turns from humourous because of the old lady interaction into something that resembles awe and it makes him almost overwhelmed to look at.

“To us,” Dan declares as he clinks his whiskey glass against Phil’s.

“I don’t think you’re actually supposed to raise a toast to anyone other than the bride and groom at a wedding, Dan,” Phil smirks, clinking his glass like he didn’t mean anything he said anyway. His insides feel far too warm and slushy to care _too_ much about the technicalities and exact etiquette of weddings.

And if anything about Dan’s beaming smile towards him is anything to go by, Phil can’t exactly blame himself.

“To us,” Dan repeats himself.

“To us.”

Phil watches as Dan takes a polite sip of his whiskey before turning his head to the room in front of them. Phil continues to stare at Dan though, he felt like how a moth feels with light with how his eyes couldn’t look away. He couldn’t tear them away from the sight because Phil was sure nothing in the room could be as pretty as Dan.

Dan turns around and the smile on his face quickly falters into something different, something fond and in awe.

“Hey,” Dan says.

“Hm?” Phil murmurs, quickly taking another sip of his drink in some form of nonchalance, like he hasn’t been staring at Dan for a few more moments than strictly necessary.

“I meant it when I said I loved you, you know?” Dan replies softly, Phil barely hears it.

“I love you too.”

“Good, just wanted to hear you say it again,” Dan teases as he leans forward with a smile on his face before capturing Phil’s lips in his own. They move slowly, not allowing Phil to break away but instead drown it in.

Drown in the movements and the feeling of Dan’s soft lips against his own.

Phil brings his hand to cradle Dan’s face as delicately as possible, thumb tracing the barely purple shadows that have somehow found their way under Dan’s eyes. Phil doesn’t want to think too much about the reasoning for them being there so he instead, pulls Dan closer, a giggle escaping Dan throat.

Dan is the one to pull away, because it obviously would never be Phil.

“I don’t think we should quite make out downstairs in front of your friends and family, Phil,” Dan laughs, no heat to his words and a smirk appearing across his face as he finishes his sentence, and Phil thinks he knows immediately what words Phil is going to say before he even says them.

“Then we should go upstairs.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :D <3
> 
> i just wanted to let you all know that from today, i'm going to be posting every day up until christmas as a little thank you for everyone reading. it won't just be /this/ fic, as i have some one shots, small chaptered fics planned to upload every day so look forward to those :') that being said if i do miss a day or two i'm apologising in advance but my ability to write comes and goes so quickly. if i do miss a day i will make up for it with posting in between christmas n the new year so there's that :) 
> 
> i wanted to do advent every day in december but i couldn't stomach that with university work but i've officially finished until the new year so i have some spare time :3 <3


	18. Chapter 18

Phil finds himself grinning in the mirror whilst he is running his gelled up hand through his hair. He doesn’t think he can help it, and he certainly doesn’t think he can stop himself either.

It’s funny how he knew this holiday would be fun, but nowhere near as fun and exciting as it actually had been. Of course, it would have been fun, he was going to be in Athens with his best friend and family for the wedding of a close family friend. That being said, if someone were to have told him that he would have ended this holiday having his best friend as his boyfriend, he would have laughed.

Mainly because he had been in denial of the love that he had felt for Dan until he realised it was too deep, but also because he would have deemed it ridiculous that Dan could ever feel the same way. Turns out he did, and now they have this little bonus part of their relationship, where they can kiss and hold hands without having any reason to do so.

As much as Phil thinks it was stupid for him to ask Dan to pretend to be his boyfriend, even more fiancé, for this wedding because he had been too embarrassed to admit that his friends had got it wrong, he can never be thankful enough for that because without it, they probably wouldn’t have had any sense knocked into them and Phil doesn’t enjoy thinking about that anymore.

“No, but don’t you think this is going to be really relaxing,” Dan says, as if Phil had been listening to him this entire time. He feels a flicker of guilt thread through his veins for a moment because he should be listening to his boyfriend, but he was _too busy_ thinking about how lucky he is to have said boyfriend that he accidentally, totally on accident, wasn’t listening.

“Huh?”

Dan rolls his eyes for a second. A blink and you’ll miss it type of deal.

“Don’t you think it’s going to be really relaxing to spend this time with your family and not have to think about lying to them the whole time?”

“I wasn’t lying to them when I acted like that with you around them,” Phil begins to say but Dan doesn’t let him finish.

“No I know, I know you weren’t lying about _that_ but lying about being in a relationship because we _weren’t_ then.”

“And we are now?” Phil sees the opportunity to tease and uses it to his advantage.

“I should hope so,” Dan chuckles as he steps forward, wrapping his arm around Phil’s waist and resting his chin on Phil’s shoulder. Phil can’t help lean into it, throwing his head to the side to rest it on top of Dan’s.

“We are,” Phil says softly before telling Dan to piss off so he can finish his hair. Dan mutters something about he couldn’t look bad if he tried and doing his hair isn’t even necessary in this heat because the afternoon fringe droop will just come about when they leave the hotel.

“Good because what we did last night, I don’t usually do with just friends,” Dan teases, squeezing the side of Phil’s hip where his hand had been resting before removing his entire being from behind Phil.

“Dan!” Phil screeches, hitting him playfully with his hand as Dan runs away giggling like a child getting away with something mischievous. He had been, mainly because Phil wasn’t about to chase him when he still had to put his contacts in and they were already going to be late.

They eventually make it downstairs to the hotel lobby area, where they promised they would meet Phil’s parents. They are a little late, but Phil doesn’t think his family would mind them before ten minutes late when he has this smile on his face.

His mother sees it immediately, but doesn’t make a show any sign of it straight away. Instead, she just smiles back at him even wider than his own. It is the type of look, however, where Phil feels like they will have a conversation about it later. Maybe they will, he thinks to himself as he steps down the final part of the staircase, because he can’t exactly allow his family to believe that they had actually been dating all this time. It was so new to the pair of them and surely that would be transparent, but like Dan has said to him when they’ve been in bed far too close to each other than strictly necessary, they’ve been technically as good as married this entire time.

“Good morning,” Phil’s parents, Martyn and Cornelia all greet in unison as they see Dan and Phil in view.

“Good morning,” Dan replies with a wide smile that throws all of the air out of Phil’s lungs for a second. He isn’t sure how he ever hid this reaction to Dan just existing.

“Hiya lads,” Phil’s mother almost screams, waving her hands dramatically as she steps forward and greets them both with a gentler hug. Phil does not miss the way Dan smiles to himself as she hugs him just as gentle but eager as she hugs her own son.

It’s not something they’ve spoken about too often, but Dan having lacked parental comfort growing up, it really shows when Dan receives anything from any parental figure, even if that’s Phil’s own parents. It hurts Phil’s heart to see, even before they had this established relationship and mutual attraction to one another, because Dan deserves to know that he is loved, and he especially deserved that when he was younger.

“Hi mum,” Phil replies once the hugs are often and done with. He gives a small head nod in lieu of hello to his father, never the one for dramatic introductions and would just rather a quick hello.

“I didn’t know you were joining us today?” Cornelia says excitedly, leaning into Martyn’s side whilst holding his hand. It feels nice to say they are actually mirroring each other now, with Dan automatically being attached to Phil, rather than them forcing it last time they had gone on a family outing.

“Yeah, we thought why not?” Dan replies before Phil. He turns to look at Phil momentarily to double check that’s the plan and Phil just offers him a nod in response. It is kind of sweet that Dan refuses to make any concrete plans without consulting Phil, but he doesn’t need to bother because Phil is pretty sure he would follow Dan wherever he goes.

“Great! Let’s get going, then shall we?” Martyn smiles at them both before turning around to follow the stairs out of the hotel and into the Athenian sunlight.

Walking out of the hotel lobby, Dan still leaning into Phil’s side with their hands intertwined, Phil turns to Dan and sees the infamous thinking face spreading across.

“You good?”

“Yeah,” It seems to startle him and Phil can still tell that Dan isn’t completely there but he decides not to push because it’s probably nothing to do with this. Dan is an avid overthinker and as much as Phil hates to see it, he knows that if Dan wanted to speak about whatever is going on in his brain that he would do exactly that.

Phil just has to trust him.

~*~

Plaka is one of the oldest towns in Athens. It’s a historical town with a whole lot of history, clustering around the intertwining and almost labyrinthine style streets, with old-style buildings which are absolutely stunning to look at.

At the very top of the town, if someone looks down they are able to see the Acropolis, and that’s why Plaka is so historically known, because it’s known as the “Neighbourhood of the Gods”. It’s developed around ruins of the Agora of Athens and that’s what gives it the sacred feel.

Phil automatically knows that he would be obsessed the second he heard about what Plaka is. He is definitely not the best with history. He knows a decent amount but not niche things like the city of Plaka so when he researched it and saw just how beautiful it was as a town, he knew he would adore it.

He had been right when they get off the tube and out of the station, into the streets of Plaka and he sees it for himself.

“This is beautiful,” Phil mutters to himself, mainly to himself and no one would have heard it if Dan hadn’t been close behind him like a bad smell.

“Right?” Dan seems to have the same expression on his face that Phil feels.

“Okay, well there’s not much to do in this city so we’re planning on just exploring, having a little walk and maybe grab something to eat,” Phil’s mum snaps straight into an honorary tour guide.

That must be where both Martyn and Phil get it from because there have been so many occasions where either of them have taken the tour guide role. Whether that be with a group of people or just with each other, and when it is just the two of them is when all hell breaks loose.

As they fall into step behind Phil’s mum, Phil begins to grow comfortably grateful for the streets of Plaka being closed to automobile traffic, just the occasional bicycle or people on skateboards to look out for. This is because of the constant pressure of Dan against his side.

It’s not overbearing, not in the slightest because Phil doesn’t think that he would _ever_ feel that way about Dan giving and showing him affection but it’s a distraction nonetheless and the number of times that Phil has just blindly stepped across a street without paying too much attention because his brain is on _Dan_ and Dan alone, is alarming.

“People say this is the nicest neighbourhood in central Athens,” Dan mutters, mainly to himself but also to Phil, and Dan’s breath just fans against Phil’s neck causing a shudder and then Phil doesn’t have to even open his mouth before Dan continues speaking. “Are you okay? What’s up?”

“You’re just distracting.”

“Oh,” Phil could hear the smug smile spreading across Dan’s face without even turning his head to look at him. “ That’s.. interesting.”

“Shut up,” Phil says with no aggression in his voice before picking up his step to follow the group into this shop selling a whole bunch of Ancient Greek merchandise. It is definitely a tourist trap type of store, but Phil is guilty of being the type of person lured into them.

He leaves his family looking at the generic postcards and fridge magnets as he wonders the store to look at the more obscure and _different_ souvenirs. He wasn’t really looking for anything special but there’s no harm in looking for a Plaka themed board game or a horribly tacky overpriced mug that just has the Greek flag on it. Dan would hate him for buying them but Phil would love every second out of annoying Dan with it.

With a solid five minutes of looking throughout the store, he doesn’t really find much. He’s kind of annoyed about it, but he’s even more confused about why he’s not bumped into any of his family during his walk around the store. It isn’t a big enough store to get lost in. Sure, he may not see his family in here but he’d at least hear them, and he’s not heard a peep, so they must have left him and waited outside, which he thinks is rude of them but to be expected.

In fear that his family are going to completely abandon him in the souvenir shop, he quickly makes his way to the door that he had entered through before stopping completely dead in his tracks at the site of the jewellery.

He sees a small Greek style ring, silver in design and the word _eros_ embossed across the band.

It’s definitely meant to be designed for women, but he knows for sure that Dan isn’t going to turn down a little _fuck toxic masculinity and gender norms_ moment if Phil handed him this ring. So he reaches for one that he thinks would be in Dan’s size before quickly heading to the checkout in fear that he would actually bump into anyone in his family

“We decided to wait outside because the store was so small,” Dan says as soon as Phil leaves the store, a small bag in hand with the gift for Dan inside. “What did you buy nice?”

“Nothing, it’s a secret,” Phil teases quickly before swapping the hand holding the bag and using the one nearest to Dan to reach for Dan’s own hand instead. He doesn’t hear anything else from Dan about the surprise giftshop bag for a while, as they fall into step following their family around Plaka.

~*~

It turns out that the streets of Plaka are even prettier when you’ve spent most of the day there, but leaving is even better when you’ve got a tummy rumbling desperate for food. That’s Phil’s problem right now.

Cornelia suggested to go back to the hotel and order room service in one of their rooms and of course, it had been decided that they’d go back to Dan and Phil’s room because it was the biggest for some unknown reason. Phil thinks that

It wasn’t that their room was messy per se, because Dan would have never allowed it to get so bad, but it just looked _so_ lived in and domestic, which Phil supposes is the whole point.

“I’m sorry for the mess,” Dan says as he unlocks the door and allows everyone to talk in behind him. Phil first of course, because they never actually leave each other’s side.

“Don’t worry about it,” Cornelia smiles as she steps in, moving her hand to show that she genuinely doesn’t care about any mess. “It’s tidier than ours isn’t it Martyn?”

“Yeah, yours looks like no one has lived in here,” Martyn laughs as he makes his way to sit at one of the window seats, looking out the window at the view before calling Cornelia over to look too. “You’ve won with this view, guys.”

At this, Phil’s father wanders over to the window wall to inspect the view too, probably feeling a little lost on what to do.

“It is very beautiful,” Dan mumbles, busying himself with putting his phone on charge, leaving Phil to sit on the bed on his own.

It is a little awkward, especially knowing what they have got up to in this room the last few days and now suddenly his parents and family are standing around looking around the room like they are looking for clues. He knows they aren’t, and he knows they won’t find anything because this is a fancy hotel with service staff who come in and change the bedding every morning, when they’ve been out in Athens already. So, he supposes that he should feel nervous over the fact that those staff members have seen the things he fears his family seeing, if there was anything to _find_ in the first place.

“I can’t believe you lucked out with this room,” His mum says in awe, wrapping her hand around the bedpost at the foot of the bed, tapping her fingers against the wood in order to admire its craftsmanship like she has any idea what is good quality wood.

“Perks of knowing the groom I guess,” Phil replies easily.

“I guess so,” she replies simply, moving to sit on the edge of the bed next to Phil. Phil watches as Dan hesitates before mumbling something about going to the bathroom, closing the door behind him as he does so, causing Phil to frown and _almost_ go to follow him but instead his mother puts her “What’s up with you two?”

“What do you mean?” Phil tries to fake innocence, but he’s never been one to successfully lie and hide his feelings to his mum.

“You seem different. Not that you weren’t happy when we first saw you this week, but you seem different. More happy, if that is even possible to happen,” She laughs as she finishes her sentence. He remembers her making a comment at one of the parties before the wedding about how happy Phil seems, and he supposes that she wasn’t wrong but it _was_ a fake happy. It wasn’t like he was upset or anything, but now this happiness she is seeing is genuine. He knew she would have noticed.

“I’ll tell you. At some point mum,” he replies, reaching to grab her hand, intertwining their fingers before squeezing lightly. It’s a _nothing_ move, nothing that his mum will really completely trust until he hears what’s going on because she’s like that, always demanding to know everything that’s going on in her son’s life. Not in an aggressively demanding way, just enough to know that she cares.

“As long as you are sure,” She squeezes back, pulling her hand away when the bathroom door opens and Dan enters the room again. A smile spreads across his face as soon as his eyes land on Phil’s and Phil can’t help but mirror it, as best as he can because he doesn’t think he could ever look as beautiful as Dan does. “I’m going to leave you two lovebirds alone and go check out this fantastic view you apparently have.”

She stands up, making that funny groan British people do when they move from their seat, slapping their hands against their thighs as an extra necessarily movement.

“What did you two speak about?” Dan asks, smile not leaving his face as he does, but instead stepping forward and automatically reaching for Phil’s hands as he does so.

“You,” Phil smiles, using their intertwined hands to pull Dan closer to press a gentle kiss on his lips.

“All good things I hope.”

“You tell me,” Phil laughs, standing up and dragging Dan with him to go and inspect this view with the rest of their family, because Dan is included in that now.

They look out at the view, idly chatting about things that catch their eyes before they order any food, all long gone hungry at this point. It feels so comfortable and perfect when they finally get the food and they all sit on the floor, in a circle, eating a random selection of Greek hotel service food.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm really loving writing this lil moment at the end of the fic with the pair of them ;__; my original plan was to finish it by now but i think i might wait until they go home to make it come full circle with them starting at home and ending at home. let me kno what u think tho :D
> 
> also ive been posting every day for the last week, literally today a week ago is started doing that and it's been really fun :') im doing that until christmas eve so if u havent checked out anything yet pls do im really enjoying the lil one shots / small chaptered fics ive started. ive ALSO began posting a new chaptered fic so there's that to check out ;) <3
> 
> i hope u all have had a good week <3


	19. Chapter 19

“You know,” Dan begins, pulling Phil out of the stream of consciousness that he didn’t even know he had been in.

They are at a small dainty coffee shop a little outside of the city centre of Athens, sitting outside in the back of the garden seating area with flowers all around them and the cool breeze sitting their faces. It’s one of the cooler days that they’ve been here so far in the last week or so. They are used to the aggressive humidity and whilst it is still warm enough for shorts and a light shirt, it’s very similar to what they would be experiencing this time of year back home in London, so it’s not the most awful day.

They were exploring Monastriaki alone today, because the rest of the Lester family had other plans that Dan and Phil had no interest in, and they quite liked it. Not because they were away from Phil’s family, but much rather because they were allowed to be alone and bask in each other’s company for a short while before returning back to the hotel where they would no doubt be forced to social to some degree.

The wedding celebrations were over, and they were left to their own devices now with a few days left of the holiday, but they still had the Lester’s to keep them company for the remainder of the days. It definitely hasn’t been and won’t be the worst situation Phil has ever found himself in, but he is counting his blessings for the small moments he gets to spend with Dan.

It’s all different now. Before, Phil did enjoy the time he got with Dan but that would have been on a strictly platonic basis, and now they have transpired further than platonic companionship and Phil can’t seem to get enough of it. Whether it be in their hotel room making out, giving each other gentle loving actions to show how much they adore each other, or whether that’s right now, walking the streets of Monastriaki together.

Of course, they didn’t have complete freedom. They haven’t bumped into any of their audience here, but they still had to be careful. But less careful than they would have had to be back home in London, so Phil counts himself lucky.

“You know, we should go on a date.”

“A date?” Phil looks up at Dan at this comment. He obviously has thought of asking Dan out on a serious date, but he hadn’t known how. He also didn’t know whether Dan would have been comfortable with that. They have gone out one on one before, this current moment being a prime example of one of the many moments they have done that, but this obviously means something different.

A date means something, at least to Phil. He doesn’t have any idea what that means to Dan but he hopes it means the exact same.

“Yeah, I want to be wined and dined before I settle down,” Dan speaks loudly as he leans backwards into the back of his chair, aligning his back completely flush with the chair and stretching upwards, like he has only just woken up.

“Is that right?” Phil chuckles.

“Yeah,” Dan sighs, deflating a little, but that smile is still on his face so Phil knows it isn’t down to sadness and much rather because of the scratch.

“Couldn’t you count this as a date?” Phil mumbles into his mouthful of food that he had just put into his mouth. Definitely not graceful by any means but they’ve been best friends for a decade, give or take a few years, so they are past the phase of needing to look cute at all times.

“But you didn’t ask me to this, lunch at this restaurant was just a _thing_ we decided to do. I want to go all out and wear pretty clothes.”

“You look pretty now,” Phil says easily, swallowing down his mouthful of food before he does so. Dan had been long finished with his lunch, but Phil being Phil, being heavily distracted very quickly and easily hadn’t finished his own, with more than half of it still on his plate.

Phil tries to use the excuse that he had ordered a larger lunch meal than Dan, but he knows that isn’t true.

“Thank you,” Dan speaks softly, but then his face turns into something harder which allows Phil to guess what he is going to say before he even opens his mouth. “Not the point.”

Phil looks back down at his food, deciding to take a sip of his black coffee. He finds himself grateful that they had found a restaurant that sold food that wasn’t necessarily Greek. He sounds kind of problematic when he says that, because when in a country you should abide by their customs and culture, but he misses his English breakfast tea and that’s all there is to it.

“You’re an awful boyfriend,” Dan says, but the smile on his face proves that there is absolutely no malice in sight.

“Oh, is that right?”

“You’ve done absolutely nothing cute for me,” Dan sighs, leaning back into his chair again with a huff. “Starting to think I am nothing more than a cute piece of ass for you.”

“Dan!” Phil near enough screeches, looking around to see if anyone is listening to them. He doesn’t know why he bothers, because he _knows_ they are the only ones in this corner of the restaurant, and no one is listening in on them. Old habits, he assumes.

“Am I wrong?” Dan raises his eyebrows, but the smile on his face is still apparent.

“Is saying how hopelessly in love with you not enough now?”

“Hm, don’t think so.”

“High maintenance.”

“Potentially,” Dan sips his green tea thoughtfully for a moment, and Phil thinks the conversation has come to an end. “My love language is gifts. Give me gifts.”

“A date isn’t a gift.”

“I deserve both then.”

“You’re awful.”

“But you love me,” Dan teases, already knowing he has won this little battle they are having.

~*~

“Phil, what do you think I should wear then?” Dan pretty much shouts from the bathroom.

Upon leaving their little lunch “date” and coming back to their hotel, Phil had decided to take Dan on that date that he had wanted, quickly and stealthily booking a table at a somewhat fancy restaurant in the centre of Athens. One that he had known Dan would adore being in for the short while that he had explored the idea of a date, knowing this one stood out instantly.

Dan had complained upon hearing this, because although he had wanted a date desperately and had badgered on to Phil all morning about wanting to get all dressed up fancy for Phil, but apparently a date this evening had been a little too soon.

Phil panicked, thinking he had overstepped and pushed Dan into having a date with him immediately, but Dan just kissed him on the cheek and rolled his eyes saying he just didn’t expect to have to get ready _right_ now. He also said something about how Phil could have warned him with a few days in advance because Dan would have liked to look his best for Phil. Phil didn’t want to mention how he couldn’t have offered Dan any more time because he had only booked it twenty minutes prior, he didn’t think that was entirely important.

So that brings them to now, with Dan in the bathroom getting ready, with Phil in the bedroom area. Dan had insisted that they got ready in separate areas of the hotel suite because if they weren’t living together in the very same hotel room, this is how their first date would have been like.

Again, Phil doesn’t dare tell Dan that they’ve lived together for a whole decade and even if they weren’t on holiday in Athens and instead at home, but he doesn’t want to ruin the mood or get into an argument before their first official date.

Although Phil came to the conclusion in his own head, that they’ve been on quite a few dates in their time, but they just weren’t aware they were _dates_.

“Dan, the whole point of a date is that I am surprised,” Phil shouts back, equally as puzzled in his own outfit choices. He relies on Dan a lot to string an outfit together.

“But I don’t know what to wear,” Dan whines, and Phil can imagine the pout on his face with a wall in between them.

“Neither do I.”

“Then we should help each other?” Phil doesn’t miss the way the end of Dan’s sentence gets higher than the rest, and that’s something that Phil has noticed happens a lot with his voice lately. Almost like he is far too excited to finish his sentence.

“Fine,” Phil admits defeat and in comes a very smiley Dan with a towel wrapped around his waist. “You had a shower?”

“Yeah, better to be safe than sorry,” Dan shrugs, walking over to Phil’s side of the wardrobe and sorting through the clothes that he had available to him. Phil liked that Dan does that, doesn’t even hesitate and already begins picking out clothes that he thinks would look good on Phil. “Here. Wear this.”

Phil watches as Dan carefully lies a pair of Phil’s dress trousers, checkerboard in pattern after Dan demanded that Phil bought them on one of their trips to Topman. They were very _Dan_ but Phil decided he didn’t hate them after a couple of times wearing them.

Dan also places a dress shirt on top of the trousers. It’s a plain black button down, simple but Phil supposes he doesn’t need anything fancy on top when his bottoms are a little jazzy.

“Now do me, should I wear my striped jumper or a button down too?”

“I mean it depends on what look you’re going for?”

“You know the date scenario, you should know whether it’s appropriate or not.”

“True,” Phil ponders for a moment, looking at the two options in either of Dan’s hands before nodding his head in the direction of the striped jumper. He has always loved that on Dan so it makes all the more sense for him to wear it on their first official date.

“Thank you,” Dan says simply before bending down into his suitcase before grabbing a pair of boxers and some ankle socks. “I’m going to get changed in the bathroom because you shouldn’t get to see this body before you earn it.”

“Like I haven’t seen it several times before,” Phil raises an eyebrow, and a flicker of shock appears on Dan’s face before it settles into a smirk. Phil isn’t sure why that happens but he doesn’t question it as Dan walks his way to their bathroom and turns around in the doorway to look at Phil, with the same exact smirk.

“Shut up, it’s meant to be romantic,” Dan says as he closes the bathroom door behind him, leaving Phil on his own to laugh and begin getting ready.

He had been sitting in his boxers for most of the _getting ready_ time so it didn’t take him that long to put on his outfit for the evening.

Turning around in his seat on the bed, he picks up the shirt in question and slides it over his shoulders before standing up and tugging the trousers on. He really does have a miss-mashed way of getting ready, he thinks to himself for a moment, but it makes sense to himself and he doesn’t question it too much then.

He makes quick work of attempting to button up his shirt, keyword being _attempting_. He curses to himself as he realises he fucked up the buttons with using the wrong buttonhole for one of the buttons, and it’s just this moment that Dan emerges from the bathroom after finishing getting ready.

“Come here,” Dan says softly, stepping forward to help Phil adjust his buttons. It is a little intimate, watching as Dan slowly unbuttons Phil’s shirt but when he begins buttoning it up again, the feeling bubbling in his stomach seizes.

He takes a moment to look at Dan now, and he looks beautiful. That is not really an unknown situation because Dan has always had the power to look show-stoppingly gorgeous whenever he puts any effort into his appearance, and Phil would easily be able to say that Dan has that same power even without trying.

His hair is in perfect little ringlets of curls on the top of his head, with enough hair on his shaved sides to create friction if Phil were to reach up and run the palm of his hand up and down the side of Dan’s head.

His eyes look absolutely beautiful, with the slight twinkle of a pale pink powder across his eyelids, making the brown mahogany irises stand out entirely, if Dan’s skin wasn’t enough to do that all by itself.

“I didn’t tell you, but I think I should,” Phil begins.

“This is going to be when you tell me you have a wife and twelve children, all called Stephen, isn’t it?”

“You got me,” Phil chuckles along with him, kind of intoxicated by the close quarters that Dan has brought between them in order to help Phil button him his shirt. He didn’t need the help but he wasn’t exactly going to deny himself of this. “When we were on Younow a few days ago, I think the audience saw the ring.”

“Oh,” and that is the only thing Dan says for a short beat, almost too long of a beat for Phil to bare. “That’s okay.”

“You aren’t mad?” Phil can’t help but frown at the simplicity of Dan’s response. He didn’t expect Dan to scream and throw plates by any means, but he expected something a little more than this. Maybe it’s because Phil has seen Dan at the worst parts of his sexuality journey and thus is a little startled amount the calmness Dan is exhibiting.

“It’s not like we did it on purpose,” Dan says as if it’s that simple.

“But they know now?”

“No, they _think_ they know, that’s the difference here,” Dan replies, again with such simplicity that it almost alarms Phil. He then remembers that Dan is Dan and if he was genuinely upset he would voice that upset to Phil, so he must genuinely be calm. “And we can allow them to speculate, when have we ever told them to stop before?”

“I guess you’re right,” Phil says, leaning forward into Dan’s face to place his lips on Dan’s cheek. “I was just scared you’d think it was too soon?”

“Well, we can just leave them to their little shipping theories and not confirm anything. Until we are ready,” Dan says as Phil leans backwards. He has a genuine smile across his face and it takes a moment for Phil to realise Dan has stopped speaking because he is so engrossed in Dan’s literal begin to reply.

“Until we are ready,” Phil nods.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi i hope you all are having a fab christmas eve! and i hope tomorrow is great for u too, considering the circumstances <3
> 
> i ~might~ post the next chapter next week but obviously im going to be a lil busy the next few days and i might not be able to post :( we'll see and i'll definitely try to do so before the new year. 
> 
> once again i wanna say thank u so much for everyone who apparently nominated me for the phanfic awards 2020? i went on the link to absentmindedly vote myself and i saw my NAME???? multiple times i was so confused.. but thank u so much :( i'm not going to tell anyone to vote for me because like, you should vote for whoever you think deserves it and that may not necessarily be me but i wanted to say thank u because it rly made my week and it gave me a huge confidence boost so thank u again :( <3


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi... im back. sorry it's been a while...

The two are sitting across from one another on the table. This is not really something they do all too often because they always much rather sit next to each other, but it’s different now that there is automatically a romantic sense around it.

There is a candle flickering in the middle of the table between them, so it would have been a little romantic without being over the top, with the risk of people seeing them still prominent so going to a genuinely fancy restaurant would be far too much.

Dan seems to enjoy it enough regardless, if the bright and beaming smile plastered across his face from the second they enter the restaurant is enough to go by. Actually, if Phil is honest with himself, that smile has been on Dan’s face since the second they were ready to leave their hotel room, so it’s easy to assume that Dan would have been happy with absolutely anything as their first serious date.

“I’m glad we came here,” Dan speaks out, after taking a large gulp of his wine, the wine they bought for the table to share between them even though Phil is not a huge wine drinker and Dan has definitely drunk more of it than Phil has, but neither of them are counting who drinks what tonight. “I wasn’t sure where to expect because it seemed so last minute? But this is so lovely, and they do so many vegan options which is a first.”

“Yeah, I double checked on their menu before booking so I knew you’d be able to enjoy yourself and keep in touch with this dietary lifestyle you’re choosing suddenly,” Phil teases lightly, obviously not meaning any of his words.

“Hey,” Dan says quickly, somehow with a frown and a smirk spreading across his face at the same time. Phil isn’t sure how that happens, but Dan is a surprise in more ways than one so Phil isn’t too shocked. “It isn’t _suddenly_. You know I’ve been wanting to go vegan for a while.”

“You’re right, but it was a little sudden,” Phil pushes a little more, and he’s glad that when he sees the smirk across Dan’s face not dissipating that they both know Phil is simply joking.

“Be quiet, you’re not meant to bully me on our first date, what kind of impression is that?” Dan gasps, placing his hand across his chest to add to the feigned shocked before wrapping his hand around his wine glass and taking another sip.

“It’s not bullying, it’s observant.”

“Bullying,” Dan corrects after swallowing his mouthful.

“Observant.”

“See, you hate me.”

“Because I’m observant?” Phil chuckles, leaning forward, elbows on both arms resting on the edge of the table and resting on the palms of his hands. He usually stops himself from doing this, one because it is deemed impolite to put elbows on tables in posh and fancy restaurants apparently, and two because Dan always complains about how Phil is ruining his posture.

Dan doesn’t seem to notice it this time however and is instead just beaming his blinding smile over in Phil’s direction.

“Something like that,” Dan replies, leaning forward slightly to mimic Phil’s position.

A few more moments pass, where they both just chat about everything and also nothing in particular. Phil brings up the conversation of how flamingos have weird looking eyes and it all kicked off from there, with Dan mentioning the fact that they aren’t actually pink because of their skin and it is in fact all of the fish that they eat.

It’s everything Phil had planned for their restaurant evening meal and more, and he’s so glad that he had picked this restaurant in particular because it’s absolutely gorgeous. The walls are panelled with planks of dark wood so the warm lighting echoes off of the darkness and creates a really peaceful and beautiful vibe.

“Right, you ready to go?” Phil speaks eventually, when he notices that Dan has finished the last drop

“Home?”

“Nope,” Phil replies simply.

“Then where?” Dan’s brow scrunches up at the question and Phil has to stop himself from leaning forward and using the pad of his thumb in an attempt to soften the wrinkles appearing on his browbone.

“I still have one place to show you,” Phil smiles.

“Wow, you really pulled out all the stops this evening.”

“Right,” Phil smiles to himself as he watches Dan push his chair backwards and stand up, presumably to go and collect their jackets from that small room that the staff throw everyone’s coats as Phil pays the bill.

~*~

Turns out, the place in question is exactly where Phil had been a few days ago, when all of this started to go massively wrong. When Dan wouldn’t even talk to him. The place that Joshua had his stag do.

Phil had always planned to bring Dan here, if things turned out okay and they either remained friends or had anything more, not that Phil ever remained hopeful for the latter because it just felt so far out of reach at the time. But now, they are there in that moment and Phil did not want to wait another moment to bring Dan here.

He knew that Dan would adore it, because it’s exactly Dan’s aesthetic. Dim lighting with fairy lights around the wall barriers that separate them from the outside world, looking out at the Athenian city skyline. It kind of reminds Phil of the _first date_ , that wasn’t really a date to Dan but was something to Phil, in Manchester, and he gets quick flashbacks to the last time he was here with a completely different mindset and life.

Phil leads Dan up to the rooftop, the same place that he had been in the stag do party, because whilst the downstairs and indoor seating area were just as beautiful as upstairs, Phil still wanted to show Dan _this_ \- the entire three hundred and sixty degree view of Athens around them.

Lighting up the entire bar with yellow coloured fairy lights, shining off of the dark green floral arrangements intertwined on top of the barriers around the rooftop, Phil couldn’t help looking at Dan’s reaction, not really understanding the sight spreading across Dan’s face.

“What the fuck, Phil?”

“Do you not like it?” Phil says, slightly worried and panicking that he has gotten Dan completely wrong. With these words, Dan spins his head from looking at the Parthenon with a confused grin spreading across his face.

“No, I love it,” Dan says almost immediately, reaching forward to grab Phil’s hand and pulling him towards the edge of the rooftop. Dan rests his elbows on the half wall in front of them and Phil follows suit, standing in silence for a little while but not in an awkward way, in a completely normal and comfortable Dan and Phil way.

Phil can’t help but notice the simmering of the fairy lights echoing in Dan’s eyes, creating such a beautiful mixture of brown and yellow. Phil wasn’t even sure that those two colours could mix and be stunning, but Dan’s already proved that to him tonight by making his eyes otherworldly.

The only other light that the bar has is stolen from the skyline around them, with small glimmering lights dimming around the city as homes go to sleep and places close for the night, because it’s late for most of Athens but apparently not for Dan and Phil, and the few other people in the bar who are luckily not on the rooftop this evening.

“I’m glad you like it,” Phil says softly, breaking the silence and turning his head away from the Acropolis and it’s lighting, that somehow still shines as bright throughout the evening as they do throughout the day, to look at his boyfriend.

Dan chuckles a little under his breath, before leaning away from the wall and reaching into his back pocket to pull out his phone. Phil has a flicker of protective boyfriend thread through his veins at the knowledge that Dan just _leaves_ his phone in his back pocket, exposed to all of Athens to steal, but he quells it, not wanting to ruin the moment.

He watches instead as Dan smiles to his phone and lifts it up, assumedly taking a photo of the skyline, just like Phil had guessed when he was here alone a few days ago. He hears a few shutter sounds before Dan locks his phone and smiles at it for a moment.

“Hey, let’s take one?”

Phil nods, ignoring the butterflies that are in his stomach for whatever this means, before leaning into Dan’s personal space slightly, leaving a gap between them and smiling. The type of smile that could be a genuine acknowledgement of how he is feeling in this situation, but also fake enough for a photo. He waits for Dan to take multiple photos, which is custom for Dan in other to get the best photo, but they never come, only one shutter sound before Dan sighs turning around to face Phil, which a grin still on his face enough to allow Phil to know he isn’t truly upset about something.

“I meant one for us,” Dan says, rolling his eyes at the end and Phil immediately knows what he means. They usually take photos for the audience only, never for themselves, so the photos are always orchestrated the same way – enough personal space between them so the audience does not second guess and overanalyse their friendship, because apparently two gay guys can’t be friends without it being something more, which is something upon thinking that makes a little less sense to Phil right now, and maybe a goofy face here and there.

Obviously, now there’s something more going on here, the platonic relationship between them disappearing into something a million times better, things are going to be different. Little things like taking photos together are going to be changed, because whilst they probably still need to take the _audience_ photos because their viewers love seeing them together even if it is just a quick photo here and there, they may naturally just take more coupley photos.

That was one of the tiny minute things that Phil kind of never really registered in his head, so when Dan asked for a photo together, he didn’t think twice before remaining _professional_ , if it could be called that.

Now, he nods gently before closing the gap between them, almost resting his chin on Dan’s shoulder. They shuffle a little bit closer and take a series of photos together, some silly and some cute. The one that stands out the most to Phil is the one where Dan turns his head slightly and presses a kiss into Phil’s hair, allowing Phil’s genuine smile to turn into a cheesy grin that he would be embarrassed about, if anyone other than Dan could see it.

“Cute,” Dan says after they are done taking some selfies and is looking through them. He immediately puts his phone back into his back pocket before talking again. “I can post that one on my story later when we are back home.”

“The one we just took?” Phil frowns slightly, confused because the only one he really remembers taking involves a kiss and he doesn’t think that would go down too easily on social media.

“No, you muppet, the first one,” Dan rolls his eyes again but Phil doesn’t miss the way he smiles and leans back into Phil’s personal space, wrapping his arm around the back of Phil’s waist. “Imagine if I just posted the cute ones with no caption, no nothing? The chaos.”

Phil laughs at this, a proper chesty laugh that doesn’t really come out too often.

“Part of me wants to just do it, just to see how they would react.”

“Yeah?” Dan says and Phil can’t really make out the tone of his voice. It seemed like a mixture of soft and genuine but also a little hesitation too.

“I mean, I don’t really _want_ to, not yet anyway, but it would be fun to just drop it on them.”

“Yeah, true. Not yet,” Dan replies, tightening his hand around Phil’s waist in a little squeeze before pulling away. “Can we sit down and drink something now? I’m tired.”

And so, they do. On each of the tables on the rooftop, there are small candles that don’t really do much to add extra lighting, but they create a warm atmosphere that Phil enjoys. He does wonder for a moment, how they are still lit outside but then he takes a moment to realise the lack of wind he is feeling and that explains it all to him.

They take a few moments to get comfortable, across the table from each other yet again which is new for them, before the waiter comes just in the nick of time. Phil doesn’t want to question whether that was a coincidence or whether they were secretly spying on them the entire time, waiting for them to be ready to order, so he just accepts it’s probably the first option as he orders two cocktails for the pair of them and the waiter disappears again, long blond hair in a ponytail following behind them.

“It’s so pretty here,” Dan says, once the waiter is out of earshot and they are once again alone. He rests his elbows on the table that they are sharing and rests his head on one of his hands, looking at Phil longingly with wide and bright eyes. “How did you find it again?”

“I didn’t say, but this is where Joshua’s stag do was, and I thought of you the entire night, knowing you’d love it.

“You thought of me the whole time?” He replies softly, as if he did not expect anything other than that from Phil, mister in-love-with-Daniel-Howell.

“Obviously. Why wouldn’t I?

“I can’t believe you recycled a party on me,” Dan rolls his eyes teasingly, with no spite actually in his tone. “I’m joking, I really love it here.”

“I’m glad,” Phil smiles at Dan, watching as Dan’s face lights up too and mirrors the exact same smile.

~*~

One cocktail turns into quite a few and Phil doesn’t even realise how much of a lightweight Dan is until they leave the cocktail bar and enter the streets of Athens, Having Dan cling onto Phil is something that Phil didn’t necessarily expect to happen but he welcomes it nonetheless. Whilst it’s not the experience he had wanted, he is still more than happy to help his boyfriend out a little.

Dan isn’t exactly _drunk_ and intoxicated per se. He is aware of his surroundings enough to walk and talk, he isn’t slurring his speech, but he just needs a little support in walking in a straight line. Just lightweight things.

They make it back to the hotel room in one piece, managing to not actually bump into anyone they know whilst walking through the lobby, because whilst that wouldn’t be embarrassing for Phil, he knows Dan would hate feeling exposed due to the small amount of alcohol in his system and the effects that is having on his entire being.

Phil helps Dan take his shoes and jacket off, before following suit himself and leading Dan back to their shared bed, with the idea of sleep in mind.

“I’m going to get you some water, get into bed,” Phil says softly, leaving a small kiss on Dan’s forehead as he spins around to head to the bathroom.

He reminds himself of his mother’s stories of how bathroom water isn’t really meant to be drinkable, but he doesn’t really have any opportunity to have anything else. Water is water, and he knows Dan especially will need it in the morning, so he fills up two glasses of the tap water before turning off the bathroom light and heading back into their bedroom. Dan is lying on top of the duvet and blanket where Phil had left him moments prior, not really doing anything to benefit the whole _get into bed_ suggestion Phil had made for him.

“Close closer,” Dan whines, making grabby hands in Phil’s direction as Phil closes the bathroom door and places the two glasses on Dan’s bedside table with a chuckle.

“I’m trying to make you feel better,” Phil rolls his eyes teasingly as he lets go of the glasses and turns to Dan on the bed.

“Try harder,” Dan manages to get his hands around Phil’s waist in this moment, and tugs him closer so they are almost flush with one another, with Dan’s back resting on the bed and Phil’s stomach resting on Dan’s.

Dan takes it upon himself to close the distance between their mouths. It’s light at first, and Phil is sure it’s just going to be a PG-rated make out session which isn’t necessarily harmful.

Phil deepens the kiss, cupping Dan’s jaw with one hand and resting his other hand against the soft skin exposed on Dan’s waist and hipbone, using his thumb to stroke over the skin repeatedly as if this could be the last time that he ever feels it.

He knows he definitely won’t be, because he knows this is _it_ now. Dan is his for life, just as much as Phil is Dan’s and he will get to experience this time and time again, as much as he and Dan would both like to and he doesn’t know if that feeling is exactly comforting enough to calm the intense feeling in his stomach. He feels like he is drowning in it. He can’t help it.

It’s probably the alcohol because Phil had drunk just as much as Dan did and this is why they both have the intense desire to just _feel_ each other. He lets the hand on Dan’s jaw trail down his neck and brushes over the collarbone of Dan’s shirt, toying with the button that is firmly clasped shut and has been the entire evening.

“You can take it off,” Dan whispers, pulling away from the kiss slightly before moving his head forward again to re-join their lips.

“No,” Phil eventually says, as much as it kills him to do so, because whilst they are both equally as intoxicated, he does not want to push this moment. Instead, he sits backwards, crossing his legs underneath one another in that same way he was taught as a small child in school.

“Okay, fair enough,” Dan replies simply, no ounce of hurt in his voice, as he presses his lips innocently against Phil’s a few more times before pulling away, sitting back on the bed with crossed legs, mirroring Phil’s position. “What do you want to do then?”

“We _should_ sleep,” Phil replies quickly, emphasis on the _should_ because it is the early hours of the evening and whilst they are both night owls, they have their final day in Athens tomorrow and they both accepted at the bar that they don’t really want to spend that in bed until midday. They actually want to do something.

That’s when Phil has a memory resurge in his mind of the other day.

“But?” Dan continues Phil’s sentence for him, clear that there would have probably been a _but_ following Phil’s words.

Phil takes it upon himself to not reply, not because he doesn’t want to give Dan an answer, but because he thinks he doesn’t need to and instead he climbs of the bed and rummages through his suitcase for that familiar bag that he had hidden in there a few days ago.

_It’s a small Greek style ring, silver in design and the word **eros** embossed across the band._

_It’s definitely meant to be designed for women, but he knows for sure that Dan isn’t going to turn down a little "fuck toxic masculinity and gender norms" moment if Phil handed him this ring. So, he reaches for the one he thinks would be in Dan’s size before quickly heading to the checkout._

When he has the bag in hand, with a shy smile on his face, he hands it to Dan who hesitantly inspects the carrier bag.

“What is this?”

“Open it.”

Dan grumbles something, which to anyone else in the world, Phil would think means they are annoyed by his own actions, but not Dan. Never Dan. Instead, Phil knows it means he is confused and doesn’t want to act out in any way, fearing that he would seem ungrateful accidentally and upset Phil.

He does it a lot around gift giving seasons, particularly his birthday when the attention is all on him, because opening gifts and giving a reaction isn’t his strongest point and it always makes him a little anxious.

Phil watches as Dan pulls the small box out of the paper bag, and he watches closer as Dan’s eyes widen slightly at the sight, clearly knowing what it could be, before relaxing and pretending he didn’t have a little _freak out_ moment.

Opening the box, Phil bites his lip as he waits for Dan to say something, anything really. And it doesn’t come, not straight away anyway. There’s just an echo of silence around them, the tension in the air, but not necessarily bad tension. It’s just Phil’s anxiety acting up and pretending like something is wrong when the logic side of his brain knows full well there isn’t anything wrong.

“What’s this?” Dan manages to croak out, breaking the silence.

“Uh, I think it’s pretty obvious, right?”

“But I already have one from you?” Dan looks up at Phil for the first time since Phil handed him the bag, moving his left hand that is holding the ring box and showing his ring finger to Phil as if he wouldn’t believe him otherwise. There is a frown on his face, but it isn’t an angry one by any means, more so confused and hesitant to put words in Phil’s mouth.

“And it’s beautiful, but this one actually means something,” Phil shrugs, trying to hide the

“You really didn’t have to,” Dan says softly. “The one I have means something.”

“I know, but I wanted you to have one that wasn’t given to you out of panic and lies.”

“Phil,” Dan begins to say, but is cut off and when Phil tilts his head up to see what’s happening, he sees Dan close his eyes and sigh, already being able to take note of Dan’s social cues to know he is about to cry. The perks of knowing someone for over a decade, he assumes.

“Hey, what’s up?” Phil offers, clearly not knowing what else to say other than this, and wrapping his arms around the back of Dan’s shoulders in the form of a hug.

“Nothing,” Dan mutters, still clearly crying, even if it is only a small tear leaking from his eyes occasionally and not a proper good sob. “I just-“

“Yeah, I understand.”

Phil says this because he does, he thinks anyway. It’s all overwhelming. Obviously, Dan knows this isn’t a proposal, he knows Phil well enough to know this isn’t _that_ moment for them and Phil would want to do something magical for him when that time comes.

Dan hiccups eventually, pulling away from Phil to wipe away his own tears before awkwardly chuckling and smiling.

“You make me so fucking happy, Phil,” Dan begins to say, the smile on his face not leaving even for a second as he shuffles closer and presses a handful of kisses all across Phil’s face, peppering him with love. “I hope you know that.”

“I do,” Phil speaks as he leans into every single kiss. He genuinely doesn’t think he is even trying to hide how dependent he is on Dan in this moment, and definitely not going to hide how much he _wants_ Dan's kisses.

“Now you’re going to have to tell me how the hell I’m meant to hide not one, but two rings from our crazy audience because they are going to _see_ these ones for sure,” Dan groans, trying desperately to sound put out by the fact his boyfriend has given him _another_ ring but the smile on his face and the happiness in his voice sounds otherwise.

“At least this one is a cheap one from a Greek souvenir store, they’ll just think you got yourself some random store. They won’t put two and two together.”

“Hey, don’t call my new ring cheap, you dick,” Dan gasps, feigning shock and annoyance as he playfully pushes Phil’s shoulder to move away. The push doesn’t really do much though because Phil pulls himself closer and presses their lips together once again, like he wasn’t the one to put a stop to it moments before.

Dan runs his hands across Phil’s arms and comes to rest against his side, gentle at the touch like he doesn’t want to even dream of pressing to intensely in fear of hurting him. Phil had always liked that, just how gentle Dan has been with him, even when they were just platonically involved with one another, Dan always found a way to give gentle touches here and there in order to comfort Phil.

Dan deepens the kiss and Phil lets out a sigh of content, already revelling in the feeling and losing himself to just being _with_ Dan. He is so sure that Dan is more intoxicating than all of the cocktails that they have drunk this evening combined.

He isn’t sure how long they sit there, kissing with no intent to go further than _just_ that. No intent to touch each other other than out of fondness and love rather than want and desire earlier. But all Phil knows, when they calm down and get into bed together, it’s the warmest he has felt in the longest amount of time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok im so sorry for not posting for a hot minute it was just christmas and i had a few mental health stuff goings on and university deadlines to deal with :( i also kinda suck at putting off writing this fic because i LOVE it so much and i dont want it to end but i need to finish it so i will!!!
> 
> also just wanna say again, i noticed that this fic is nominated for a few phanfic awards for 2020 :( which is so ????????????????? to me. i dont deserve it. im not going to tell u to vote for me, because i truly think that a bunch of people and fics i'm up against deserve the win more but please go and vote ;_____; not even for me just go vote in general it's so fun and u may find some amazing fics in the list you didnt previously know about and that's always fun!!! 
> 
> [here's the link for that](https://phanficawards.tumblr.com/post/638591775241633792/voting-for-the-phanfic-awards-2020-is-live)
> 
> i hope you're all having a wonderful start to 2021 bc u all deserve it <3


	21. Chapter 21

Phil wakes up feeling equal parts warm and cold. Immediately, he can feel a headache coming on, and a shiver spreading across his bones. He groans to himself, as he slowly pushes himself up and tries to locate where he is, with his head still feeling a little foggy from the alcohol they both had consumed the night before.

Of course, he is in the hotel room he has been in for the last week, give or take a few days. He hasn’t suddenly moved anywhere and transported across the world to Antarctica or somewhere else equally as cold. Closing his eyes, due to the light being heavy as it fills the room through the slither in the opened curtain that he regretfully didn’t close when he was going to bed last night. He squeezes his eyes shut and collapses back against the cushion beneath him, ignoring the rising feel of sickness in his stomach from the sudden movement.

He can hear movement next to him, and suddenly he remembers that sense of warmth that he feels. He uses his hand to try and locate the body next to him, the body being his boyfriend, Dan and a spasm of panic hits him in that space between semi awareness and being fully asleep, before he rolls over and finds Dan completely.

He wraps his arms around Dan’s waist and pulls him closer, his back flush with Phil’s stomach, applying enough pressure to relieve any sickness he had been feeling. It is not perfect but it’s something, enough so that he didn’t have to up and leave to do any business in the bathroom.

The gentle spooning must be enough to completely wake Dan out of his slumber because that’s when Phil hears a small groan and feels Dan stretch beside him. Phil lives for moments like these, moments where they both are half asleep but awake enough to somewhat speak to each other and have special awareness. He assumes Dan likes it too, because Phil isn’t swinging his limbs around aimlessly, destroying everything in sight.

“Five more minutes, please.”

Phil hears the begging in his voice and he almost caves. He almost caves because he too, could benefit from having a little extra sleep but from the sunlight that is dappling across the floor through the opened curtains, Phil knows they have already slept in a decent amount and they should probably get up.

It’s just so easy to lay in bed and do absolutely nothing, especially after having a few drinks the night before.

“We should get up, bub,” Phil whispers anyway despite himself, his words crawling out of his mouth in the early morning (or afternoon, but who is checking the time right now?) atmosphere and traipsing their way into Dan’s ear, which is in close enough proximity to sound like a shout if Dan’s reaction, shivering slightly at the close contact, is anything to go by.

“Hm, you say that, but you are the one cuddling me.”

“You’re just inviting,” Phil offers as a suitable reply, and when Dan doesn’t question it or call him out on his complete bullshit, he assumes it’s enough for the pair of them to lie in silence for a few moments longer.

He hears a grumble from Dan’s direction a few times, almost like Dan is complaining about simply existing, which is very Dan and not new for Phil to witness. Phil has seen Dan wake up plenty of times, not just on his holiday, and it’s always the same.

It starts off slow, with Dan wiggling to get comfortable again after being pulled out of a complete sleep phase, mumbling words that aren’t necessarily coherent as he tries desperately to fall back asleep. Of course, it doesn’t work out for him and he grumbles some more, words a little more clearer complaining about how he is still tired and doesn’t want to wake up just yet, still half asleep and committed to falling back asleep even though he knows it’s not possible.

That’s when the shuffling starts. The aggressive shuffling, like Dan is coming out for blood with every movement he makes, a complete polar opposite to what Dan is usually like, which is why it’s clear to Phil that he is still in a half asleep state. Dan is usually soft and gentle with every movement he makes and that comes into show once Dan finds himself comfortable again and opens his eyes.

Phil’s seen it enough to be able to recount the steps himself, which could be deemed embarrassing for a lot of people, but not Phil.

“Morning,” Dan mumbles eventually, once he is finished stretching enough to speak more than a groan. He still sounds like he is about to drop off, to sleep for another few hours, and Phil does wonder whether that would be a good idea, to ignore Dan’s morning completely and fall back asleep, but then Dan speaks up again, a lot clearer than before. “How much did I drink last night?”

“Not too much, why?” Phil replies softly, pressing his mouth against the back of Dan’s neck, placing feather light kisses in the general area.

“I never want to drink again,” Dan whines, shuffling backwards to press his back tighter to Phil’s stomach, and moving his hand to find Phil’s, the one that’s on his stomach and intertwining their fingers together. If Phil wasn’t half asleep, he is sure that he would make a comment about how nice this feeling feels, but Phil is half asleep and half asleep Phil doesn’t necessarily want to be soft. “I feel awful.”

“Are you okay? Do you need anything?” Phil says half-heartedly. He knows, that if Dan genuinely needed something that he would do it, but also if Dan genuinely needed something, he would make sure Phil knew about it by now. Dan is more or less okay, just probably has a little headache from the alcohol consumption and that doesn’t warrant Phil going into aggressive mothering mode, maybe not too much anyway.

“No, I’m fine, maybe a few painkillers and some water?”

“Well, perfect boyfriend over here,” Phil begins to say, pulling away to rest on his back again and ignoring the protests coming from Dan’s mouth, as he grabs the painkillers and one of the glasses of water that he prepared last night, half drunk but still wanting to care for the both of them. “Already prepared for that.”

Phil hands the packet of paracetamol over to Dan, waiting for him to take out the desired amount before handing him one of the glasses of water. He watches as Dan sits up slightly, enough so he could take big gulps of the water, to swallow the tablets and also to rehydrate himself. He takes the glass back, putting it back on his bedside table next to his own, but not before taking a sip from it himself and hearing Dan mumble a small _thank you_ for giving it to him.

He knows he says his own drink literally right next to him, but he is so used to sharing things when it comes to Dan and he doesn’t think Dan minds. He knows Dan doesn’t mind when he turns back around, to wrap his arms around Dan’s waist again, and sees a small smile across Dan’s lips.

“I don’t want to leave the bed today,” Dan whines once they are both back in the same position, spooning but gentle enough due to both of their delicate stomachs. Phil doesn’t admit to Dan that he feels a little awful himself, but maybe that’s the motherly nature kicking in. “We kind of have to but I don’t _want_ to.”

“We don’t have to do anything if we don’t want to,” Phil shrugs, ignoring the sudden pang of pain in his stomach from the intense and almost dramatic movement of his shoulders. He is sure he grimaces slightly, but Dan does not notice so Phil doesn’t comment on it.

“It’s our last day in Athens, I want to do things with you.”

“Oh,” Phil didn’t think about it like that. He guesses, and he assumes this is exactly the same way that Dan feels, that this is their first official holiday together as a couple and it should be special. Sure, they have been on a ton of holidays and adventures together in their decade of knowing each other, ranging from Youtube events and conventions and just _normal_ holidays that they decided to take together in Japan or Florida with Phil’s family.

It’s the memories of holidays that they had taken together with Phil’s family that strikes him as weird. He supposes, that should have been an obvious thing for him, to realise that he and Dan were more than just best friends, that they were actual soulmates, and more than just platonic buddies hanging out. Why would Dan come to countless family holidays with Phil? Why would Dan always spend the days leading up to Christmas in the Isle of Man with Phil and his family if they were just friends? Friends _don’t_ do that.

“Besides, it’s our dumb mistake for drinking more than we can handle. We can sleep in bed all day when we are home again,” Dan says simply, as if he has been thinking about it already and Phil wants to question it but some other thought takes over his brain and forms words instead.

“We?” Phil quirks up.

“Don’t think I don’t see you just as hungover as I am, Lester.”

“Oh,” Phil blushes, hiding his head in the crook of Dan’s neck in an attempt to hide from the very person. It doesn’t work, obviously, and instead Dan pushes him away and giggles as he tries to gain eye contact with Phil.

This works, but it doesn’t help with Phil’s blushing and if anything, it makes it worse. But Phil basks in it, even if he is a little embarrassed for whatever reason.

“Do you want to know something kind of funny?” Dan says with a chuckle.

“Go on then,” Phil settles back down against Dan’s side, this time changing positions in order for Dan to lie on his back and for Phil to curl up against his side. It is a little unusual because Dan is usually the one curling up against Phil, but neither of them comment on the change in scenario and if anything, Phil finds it oddly comforting to be in the alternative cuddling position for once.

He usually finds himself being the big spoon, or doing the typically masculine role in these types of things, and it’s not that being in the alternative role is anything wrong or un _masculine_ in any way, because Phil simply doesn’t care. He has grown up gay, already defying toxic masculinity in so many ways, so being the _cuddled_ isn’t anything he finds anxiety inducing. He actually kind of likes it.

“Well, when I went off sulking a few days, I did a lot of spending just to keep myself distracted. I wanted to come back here and rip your head off but also tell you how in love with you I am and how everything was killing me,” Dan clears his throat after that, and Phil can’t help but squeeze the part of Dan’s body that he has his hand on, this time it being his waist. “Well, I used our joint account. The business account.”

“You used the Dan and Phil card to pay for your sulking session?”

“I may have,” Dan shrugs, but Phil can hear the smile spreading across his face without even lifting his head up to double check. Maybe he knows Dan way too much, to know what emotions he is portraying in his voice simply by how it sounds without even seeing his face.

“Dan!” Phil begins to say, and he isn’t really that mad. It’s just a little put on in order to gain a reaction from Dan, one of Phil’s favourite things to do even before they took this extra step in their relationship.

“Hey! You can’t complain about anything. You made me cry.”

“Hm, I guess.”

He feels the gentle touch of Dan’s warm palm sliding underneath his chin and pulling his head up to look at him, automatically looking into the bright brown, if brown eyes can even be considered bright, and if they couldn’t Dan was the first one to make that work.

Phil swears he can see the faintest dusting of freckles over Dan’s cheeks, something special for himself because it’s only noticeable when someone is this close to Dan’s face, and he can’t imagine anyone other than himself would be doing that.

Phil decides in that moment, that he has never wanted to kiss someone so bad.

So, he did.

The first kiss lands on his forehead, feather light and a blink and it would be missed approach. The second, a little more south right next to his right eye, earning a giggle from Dan’s mouth as his eyes flutter shut due to the close contact of Phil and his mouth.

He is sure he hears some act of protest, but it fades away when the third kiss lands just below Dan’s eye, and then the fourth on the mirroring side underneath the other eye. A quick succession of one another and sprinkling down to his nose.

He lingers for a moment, opening his eyes to just _watch_ Dan for a moment. His eyes are still closed, looking blissed out and smiling to himself, unaware that Phil is watching him. His skin is pale, but not as pale as it usually is, because the Mediterranean sunshine has treated him well, and when Phil reaches forward with his one hand to rest the palm against Dan’s cheek, the skin still feels like the same skin Dan had all those years ago when Phil last allowed himself to touch Dan in this way.

Looking back, he isn’t sure if past him could ever believe just what present, current him has. Past him wanted this, and in some ways Phil has _always_ wanted this, even if he hasn’t been able to admit it to himself, tucking it in the very back of his mind as something he knew he desperately wanted but knew he couldn’t have.

He didn’t ever want to even entertain the idea of this being his reality because then it makes it a lot more difficult to stop thinking about it. He didn’t want to lose Dan as a friend, so tucking it away was the only solution.

But now, Dan is lying here, pliant underneath Phil’s touch and Phil couldn’t believe it.

Dan’s lips were warm and soft, when Phil eventually leaned forward, placing gentle kisses against his mouth, passionate and deep enough for Dan to feel the emotions he is spewing through the simple act. Phil feels floaty, his mind blank with the only thought actually swimming through his mind being Dan, and just how much he loves him.

~*~

“We really need to do something today,” Dan says eventually. As much as Phil has always loved to hear and listen to whatever Dan had to say, he wishes that _wasn’t_ what Dan had to say.

It was not like he had anything against moving from the bed and going to explore Athens, because if in fact, he was almost certain they would return here in the not so distant future, especially with how much this city means to him with recent developments in his life.

It was more so the fact he had allowed himself to feel comfortable and rested against the side of Dan’s body and he is far too warm to pull himself away. He actually thinks that Dan will have to pry him away from himself if he wants Phil to move, because he will not move by his own accord.

“I don’t think so,” Phil whines, using his arms that are already wrapped around Dan’s midriff to squeeze as if to further prove that he doesn’t want to move. It earns a giggle from Dan, so Phil supposes it is worth it, even if it isn’t exactly like him to be this whiney and needy.

“But it’s our last day in Athens and-“

“I want to cuddle with you,” Phil doesn’t mean to whine anymore, and if he is honest, he _does_ want to roll out of bed right now and get ready for the day. The last time he had checked his phone was when they had woken up, both riddled with hangovers desperately needing some pain relief, and it had already been midday at that point.

They had already had what Phil would deem a lie in at that point, especially with the standards of how this holiday has gone down, so with their early afternoon bedtime situation, they’ve definitely had enough time to rest and they _should_ definitely get out of bed now.

However, it is far too easy to just admit defeat and remain still when he is having such a wonderful time already without needing to leave their hotel room.

“Okay, but we have forever to do that.”

“Why do you have to be sentimental and cheesy now?” Phil rolls his eyes, as he reluctantly pulls himself up off Dan’s body, still lingering close enough to be considered cuddling.

“It worked didn’t it?” Dan laughs, as he tugs the duvet cover back and climbs out of bed. Phil just watches him for a second, both in disbelief that Dan actually just did that and also because Dan is just dressed in his boxers, leaving a pleasant display of his pale body as he walks across the hotel room floor towards the bathroom.

For a split second, Phil’s mind tells himself to stop looking, because he shouldn’t be able to _look_ at Dan like that. And it takes several more seconds to remember that he can look now, as long as Dan wanted to, and if Dan didn’t want to, he would say.

Also, it adds to the calming of Phil’s nerves to understand _he_ did that to Dan. He undressed Dan last night, in order to get into bed when they had come home from their first official date. He got to spend all of the morning in bed with Dan, where he was _still_ wearing nothing more than his boxers.

So instead of looking away, closing his eyes to Dan’s almost naked form, he watches instead and does not feel guilty doing so.

“Are you coming?” Dan shakes him out of his daze with an almost _too_ loud for their still sensitive brains voice. Phil does cringe a little upon hearing it, but he doesn’t hesitate climbing out of bed, reaching for the outreached hand that Dan has offered him and following his boyfriend into the bathroom.

Phil isn’t sure who undressed who, he just remembers feeling a little colder for a second before feeling Dan’s hands on him pulling him into the shower, getting warm again. He also isn’t sure how long they spend in the shower, everything a blur of distractions and intense feeling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HIIIIIIIIIIIII EVERYONE :D i hope you're all having a lovely week!!!!!
> 
> the next chapter is the last one for baby if you wanna try and that makes me :( so upset!! ive loved writing this fic so much, and whilst the chapters have been a little scattered recently (and i do apologise for that) it's really been a confort for me to write so i really appreciate you all reading it and hyping me up bc it rly encouraged me to write more :3 
> 
> that being said, the next chapter ~may~ not come next week. at the time of me posting this chapter, it hasn't been written and i have so many deadlines for university this week, along with two hospital appointments and an interview LOL so i may be a little busy ;___; but.. i have said that in the past and still found time to write so just idk don't get your hopes up for the final chapter next thursday but also.. maybe it will come who knows it'll be a nice surprise either way <3


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi... i am so sorry for the pause. i'll explain more in the end notes :] i hope this long final chapter makes up for it

Showering doesn’t take all too long, all things considered. They do attempt to not be too late to meet Phil’s family downstairs in the hotel lobby, but things happened and they ended up keeping everyone waiting, so much so that Martyn actually called Phil several times to double check they were still coming.

Phil didn’t see his phone notify him the first time, so Martyn had been a little exhausted by the time Phil answered the call, making some kind of comment about their private life getting in the way. Phil blushed even though it isn’t necessarily anything embarrassing because they _are_ a couple now, but it is still new. Not that Martyn knows that.

Yet, anyway.

Phil did wonder, walking down the stairway to the lobby with Dan at his side. He was all too close for it to be strictly platonic, which was their intentional going forward when they leave their hotel because of their audience seeing, but that apparently had gone out of the window almost immediately. He wondered if it would be possible to tell his family that the first time they had met Dan as his fiancé, that that wasn’t strictly true.

Obviously, it wasn’t a complete big deal because they had already met Dan a million and one times already. Dan was part of the family for the most part, with the family holiday’s he tags along to and the Christmas celebrations he is automatically invited to without even a seconds thought. This time was different and Phil feels a flicker of guilt when he thinks about how he has lied to everyone he truly cares about, allowing them to think that Dan was anything more than a friend for the most part of this holiday.

Truth be told, Dan _had_ always been more than a friend, but Phil had always thought that was unrequited, that Dan would never feel that exact same way and Phil would have to push those feelings further and further away so they didn’t seem too obvious.

Now the situation has changed and Phil just wants to scream about that into the void, and tell his mother the good news but he can’t. He can’t because he got himself, and Dan alongside, into this mess and singing these praises would mean exposing the lies that came beforehand.

He is sure his mother would understand for the most part, as it is typical Phil after all. Getting himself into a mess and being too awkward to correct anyone, but this is worse than anything he has ever done before. It is definitely more than accidentally not telling his high school friends that he got a specific video game for Christmas because they assumed, as they all got it too, and coming to his mother after school stressed because they all want to play the _same_ game together the weekend and Phil doesn’t have it.

_That_ she could understand but this, Phil isn’t too sure. He isn’t sure how _Hi mum, I actually lied. I wasn’t engaged to Dan before this holiday but now we are dating because we actually figured out that we were in love with each other this whole time and faking a relationship meant those feelings became unbearable to the point of exposing them to one another_ would go down with his family.

Yeah, that doesn’t sound right at all.

“About time you came downstairs,” Martyn comments when they greet each other by the huge entryway of the hotel. The rest of the family are sitting down a few steps away, basking in the Athenian sunlight and Phil feels a little bit guilty for a second, for making them wait.

“Sorry,” Phil says shyly. “We got caught up.”

“Yeah, I don’t want to hear about what my brother gets up to,” Martyn teases before turning around to walk down the steps to Cornelia, thankfully ignoring how Phil blushes at the comment.

He turns his head to glance at Dan, who seemingly looks unbothered by Martyn’s comment and instead smiles lovingly before shoving Phil’s shoulder with his own in lieu of telling Phil to hurry up and get moving, leaving Phil with the only response he can muster and follow Dan down the steps to the streets of Athens.

“Right, where we off to then?” Phil’s mum smiles, her eyes scattering across the group to maintain eye contact with everyone for a short while. Phil likes that about his mother, because she tries her hardest to involve everyone whenever she opens her mouth. That’s probably why Dan never feels excluded from the family conversations, because she still actively tries to involve him.

“I’m unsure, I was thinking maybe we walk around and see if we find anywhere interesting?” Cornelia replies, shrugging her shoulders as she speaks.

“Seems good,” Phil’s mum nods in response, the type of nod people do when they don’t _really_ agree with what the other person is saying but do it anyway out of politeness. “Dan? Phil? Any ideas?”

“I was going to suggest the same thing,” Phil mumbles.

“Actually, would it be annoying if we could go back to the Acropolis?” Dan says shyly.

“Sure, don’t see why not. It’s a wonderful place to explore,” Phil’s mum nods gently, a little more thought is given into this nod response, more than the nod given to Cornelia. It’s not that his mother prefers Dan to Cornelia, because that’s not true at all. Phil just assumes it’s because his mum can sense the need for maternal love in Dan’s life, again not because his own mother was particularly bad, it’s just because she can sense he may need _more_. “Any reason?”

“It just has good memories,” Dan shrugs casually.

They make their way towards the tube station that would take them to the Acropolis area of Athens, luckily their local tube station has a direct train to the Acropolis and they don’t have to walk much before arriving there.

Phil keeps a small distance between he and Dan this time, not because he has anything to hide with his family because they all already know their relationship status albeit not the entirely accurate story, but more so because of where they were. In public.

He still keeps a large enough distance between the pair of them and his family as they make their way to the tube station and shuffles a little closer to Dan to ask him the question.

“What was the reason?” Phil pushes.

“Shut up, you know why.”

“I do not,” Phil lies. Well, it’s not technically lying, because he did not one hundred per cent know the reason for Dan’s demand of seeing the Acropolis again, he had an incredibly selfish idea that the reasoning was because of himself.

“Because, it was a really good day and I think that was one of the first moments I felt like I was actually fucked, you know?” Dan says honestly. “Like, I knew I couldn’t run away anymore.”

“Oh,” Phil says, not really expecting that answer. He knew they made out there, but that’s about it.

He doesn’t really sure why else Dan would find it important, but he guesses Dan just answered that hypothetical question.

Phil finds himself going almost into autopilot as he walks down the street, jogging a little bit but not enough to actually call it a _jog_ in order to catch up with him. They walk into the tube station together, still a little bit behind the rest of the group. Phil feels enough comfort and bravery to brush his hand against Dan’s side as they approach the ticket barriers.

“Is that all you’re going to say?” Dan chuckles as he scans his ticket, the same ticket they’ve used all week to travel throughout Athens, a little tattered and worn after a weeks usage of a thin piece of card.

Phil mirrors his actions, pressing his ticket against the scanner in the tube station and walking through the gap when the barriers open, following as Dan makes his way down the stairs to the tube platform, assumedly following Phil’s family who are a few steps in front of them now.

He hears as Dan chuckles when they come to a stop, more out of awkwardness than anything else. Phil knows that because there’s not really any reason to laugh, so it must only be that.

~*~

Phil didn’t think there was anything more to learn about Dan, having already lived with him for years upon years. But he was wrong and this holiday, in particular, had taught him a few new things about his best friend, even though he didn’t think that was possible.

The most important being, apparently Dan had felt the same way about Phil all these years and didn’t think to mention it. Phil guesses he couldn’t hold that against him, purely because he did exactly the same, but it is kind of funny to think about in hindsight.

The other one that springs to mind is in some similar ways that Phil doesn’t particularly enjoy flying and using airports as a main method of travel, but Dan is the complete opposite and love flying. Phil notices how Dan becomes a little anxious being on the ground far too long and actually looks forward to the flight when it comes to holidays, whereas Phil does not.

One thing that he had found himself learning whilst being on holiday in Greece is that Dan actually enjoys acting like a tour guide. They have been on a few holidays together and of course, Dan has enjoyed himself by telling Phil about the history of a few places in different countries but he really stepped his game up in Greece.

Phil isn’t sure why, but he watches as Dan basically runs off of the train when they get to their stop and climbs up the stairs like he is the world class champion in climbing staircases whilst the whole rest of the crew trail on behind him, and he is sure that Dan finds his happy space in the spotlight.

Not like a crazy A-list celebrity who thrives off of being the centre of attention, because it is clear that Dan isn’t acting the way he does for that reason. It’s more so because he loves acting. He loves putting on a performance and if that means singing and dancing and screaming facts that everyone knows Dan had only learned in the last few days of being here, then that is what Dan is going to do.

“Did you all know that this building has been rebuilt three times now?” Dan begins speaking, shaking Phil out of his thought process. He turns around, facing the tube station entrance where the rest of the group are still walking, with the Partenon behind him. Phil can’t deny it’s a sight to behold.

If he had the quick reflexes he wishes he had, then he could have taken his phone out to take a picture of Dan. But he doesn’t, and quickly begins to regret it every moment afterwards.

“Yes, you told us last time,” Phil rolls his eyes, teasing as he finally makes his way out of the tube station onto the grounds of the Parthenon.

“Okay, but did you know the first rebuild was because during the Greco-Persian wars in the fifth century BCE the Persians destroyed it, and it was rebuilt after their conquest replacing an older temple of Athena?”

“You said that too,” Phil’s mum says gently, way more kinder than Phil had put it.

“Hm,” Dan frowns, and Phil can kind of tell that Dan is annoyed about something so he quickly tries to change the subject.

“What does everyone want to do?” Phil speaks.

“Well, Corn mentioned that she was hungry so we are thinking about just going to the restaurant over there and sunbathing?” Martyn nods his head over to the far corner of the Acropolis, where there is a small restaurant courtyard, maybe enough for a handful of people to sit down comfortably, serving traditional Greek falafel.

That’s at least all Phil can see with his poor eyesight, having traded in his contacts for glasses before they had left the hotel room.

“Drop me in it why don’t you?” Cornelia teases, nudging Martyn with her elbow. “You wanted food too.”

“But you suggested it.”

“Actually, I was thinking we should go explore the Parthenon? Again?” Dan speaks up afterwards. Almost like he had it already planned out.

He has an awkward smile spreading across his face, the one that Phil has gotten to know all too much over the last week.

“Alright,” Phil seems to think whilst nodding slowly. “That’s fine, and mum? Dad?”

“We won’t be joining. There’s something further down the path there,” His father says, pointing his finger over just a little west of where they are all standing. “Maybe I can convince your mother to join me?”

“I am right here,” She rolls her eyes, but links her arm with her husbands all the same.

Phil waves them off, already knowing that they probably aren’t going to stick to that plan already, ending up at the restaurant within no time at all because his father's legs grow tired of walking quite quickly and his mother can never pass up an opportunity to sit down with this sunshine being as bright as it is now.

That being said, Phil follows as Dan wanders his way around to the front of the Parthenon, assumedly looking for the entrance so they can explore the inside, something they did not do the last time.

Phil once again, can’t help but linger a little bit. Not because he doesn’t want to be the absolute closest to Dan as possible, because he does and he could not think of anything

It’s pretty ironic, when he thinks about it because when they were pretending to be together, they didn’t mind acting romantic in public. They could easily hold hands and kiss in front of a group of people, assuming none of them were their audience. But now they are actually together, it’s a little different.

Maybe it’s because it is actually something special and _theirs_ so they are acting like they have something to protect. Phil isn’t sure, but all he knows is he cannot wait to get back into the privacy of their own room so Phil can even think about looking at Dan a certain way.

He watches as Dan talks to this person, who he assumes works here, if their huge _tour guide tickets here_ sign gives away anything. He doesn’t catch what is said but he follows when Dan makes his way through the entrance all the same.

They walk into the Parthenon a little closer than they were before, enough for Dan to momentarily intertwine two of his fingers with Phil’s whole hand. It’s enough to leave Phil craving more when his fingers move away and the space between them furthers once again.

Once inside, Phil understands why Dan was so desperate to come here. It’s no outside of the Parthenon that’s for sure, but it is still pretty remarkable and impressive.

Dan looks back at him over his shoulder, with that smile once again and Phil doesn’t hesitate to offer it back. As if he was going to do absolutely anything else, because he can’t find himself anything but grinning stupidly being around Dan lately.

“So why did you want to come here again?” Phil asks, to make conversation. He already has a little idea that it was because Dan is so transparent that it’s almost painful, but he still would like to know from the horse's mouth.

Instead of a reply, however, Dan just shrugs, before spinning his head back around in front of him and hiding his beaming smile from Phil to see.

They make their way through the small museum that the Parthenon has. There’s nothing much but they still end up on opposite sides of the room, with artefacts and pillars in between them.

The demand and urge to touch Dan lessens a little, but maybe that’s aided by the fact that Phil wanders off alone and begins exploring the artefacts and pretty paintings by himself. He doesn’t mean to, because he knows that Dan wanted to spend this time with him, but it’s not like he wandered very far. Just a couple of metres.

In fact, Phil can even see Dan from where he is standing. He watches as Dan looks thoughtfully at the artefact in front of him, from the angle Phil can see. He looks at ease and peace, with himself, with the world he is living in and Phil kind of envies that.

Almost like Dan senses Phil’s pair of eyes on him, he looks up, smiling instantly before shaking his head and looking away again.

~*~

“Did you know Alexander the Great came here at the beginning of his conquest because it was one of the most iconic places to get good luck?” Dan speaks up, from behind Phil.

Phil had been looking at this definitely _not suitable for young eyes_ piece of art. A pot covered in men doing unspeakable things to each other, that Phil wishes he had ever laid eyes upon, when Dan sneaks up behind him.

His fingers lay on Phil’s hip as he speaks, before taking them off almost as quickly as they were placed. Dan moves his feet to stand next to Phil instead, not looking at him but rather staring at the mysterious pot with Phil.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, and he came here with Hephastion, who historians often label his lover,” Dan continues. “If they aren’t homophobic, I may add.”

“Right?” Phil chuckles at the last comment. It sounds like something Dan would say, very Dan.

“Actually, people around the pair of them compared to Patroclus and Achilles.”

“And those are?” Phil trails off. He follows as Dan walks to the other corner of the museum building, away from the pot that Phil silently thanks him for in his head.

“Achilles, you know him, a mercenary who went off in the Trojan War to fight for Helen of Troy or whatever misogynistic, women owning bullshit people pulled back then,” Dan replies, instead of looking at Phil he decides to stare off into the view they have of this painting. It’s impressive, Phil thinks to himself as he focuses on the brush strokes in front of him. “He was known to have a lover, Patroclus, and they are adored by everyone and used in history books. Again, some historians are homophobic as fuck say they were just friends but we know.”

“We know, huh?” Phil chuckles.

“Yep.”

“Are you implying that you brought me here because we somewhat resemble them or?” Phil can’t help the smile that spreads across his face at this.

“Not implying,” Dan frowns slightly before smiling, almost giddy. “I’m telling.”

“You’re so annoying,” Phil chuckles, shaking his head.

“Am I?” Dan turns his head this time.

“No,” Phil almost whispers, his eyes finding Dan’s and somehow avoiding the lowrise sunshine to catch the twinkle that hides in them.

They both turn their heads to continue looking at a random information plack that Dan had made Phil walk towards a few moments ago. Phil isn’t sure that he even reads it. Actually, he knows he doesn’t, because he is still hell-bent on being distracted by his best friend existing so close to him.

He doesn’t think he could ever get over the fact that Dan feels the same way he does, and that Dan doesn’t think twice before snuggling up far too close to excuse platonic behaviour.

Maybe it’s the internalised homophobia that always finds its way to creep in whenever it is least wanted, but he isn’t sure what he did to deserve this life.

“Do you want to take a little pic?” Dan speaks up first, a little quick and quiet, leaning up against the corner wall in front of Phil with his phone in his hand. Phil doesn’t know what he is scrolling through but he doesn’t need to ask, and instead nods.

They press their sides together without thinking, smiling at the camera as Dan clicks the button a handful of times, changing expressions before Dan drops his hand and they separate the gap between them.

They finish their own tour of the museum inside the Parthenon before heading back outside into the sunshine. They probably couldn’t have been more than an hour but Phil enjoyed himself all the same.

They don’t walk back to where Phil knows his family would be though, and instead, they head to the edge of the rock structure and sit exactly where they sat last time they were here.

Phil can’t help but remember the events that unfolded here, with the pair of them sharing one of their first genuine kisses before being broken up by Cornelia and heading for food. That was really one of the first moments that got the ball rolling between the two of them, Phil thinks to himself as he dangles his feet off of the side.

He’s kind of grateful for it.

He turns his head to the left, where Dan is sitting in the exact same way as before, but something has shifted between them. Obviously, a lot has shifted between them since the beginning of this holiday.

It’s weird to think, that if Phil had been a bit more confident a few weeks back, that this wouldn’t have happened. It’s also interesting to entertain the idea that if Phil _was_ a little bit more confident, maybe this whole fake relationship wouldn’t have needed to happen, because Phil would have had the confidence to speak his mind and express the feelings that he has had for Dan years ago.

There’s no point dwelling in the past though.

“Do you think we can post these?” Dan looks up from his phone, staring directly at Phil as he does so. He would usually find this eye contact intimidating but he is struggling to feel that right now.

“Hm,” Phil shuffles closer, his thighs pressing against both the jagged rock floor and Dan’s thigh, and looks at Dan’s phone screen. “We are a bit close.”

“True,” Dan bites his lower lip like he isn’t really finished speaking and is instead thinking about something.

“You want to?” Phil offers as a gentle push.

“I think so,” Dan looks up from his phone then, lip still gripped tightly in between his two sets of teeth. Phil has to bring himself to look away from that sight to pay attention to Dan properly. “Is that bad?”

“Not bad,” Phil replies quickly but doesn’t say anything else.

“You don’t want me to?”

“I’m unsure. The aud-“

“The audience thinks things with less, you know? I don’t think this really suggests anything more than they would think if we were stood three metres apart.”

“Dan, we are literally pressed up against each other with no good reason, there’s space on either side of us. They will _think_.”

“Again, is that so bad?” Dan says softly, almost like he is hurt by what Phil is saying.

“You don’t mind them knowing?”

“Do you?”

Phil sits and thinks about this for a while.

“I don’t mind them knowing but I don’t exactly want to tell them.”

“So hypothetically, if I posted these and just put a quirky caption, something dumb about my aesthetic being ruined with a week in the sun, adding nothing more and definitely nothing to elude to our relationship,” Dan starts speaking. The word _relationship_ sending tingles down Phil’s spine, which is odd because he should be used to it by now. “You wouldn’t be mad?”

“I wouldn’t.”

“So can I post it?”

“Sure, but please let me see before you post?” Phil asks quietly, like it’s something bad to even ask for this from his partner.

“Of course. Wouldn’t dream of anything else,” Dan replies quietly before looking back at his phone, assumedly typing away the caption or picking a cute subtle filter.

Phil doesn’t feel as nervous as he probably should in this situation. It’s a big deal, especially to the both of them. At the beginning of their ‘fame’ on Youtube, there were theories and rumours around what they meant to each other, of course, all more or less false, other than the ones assuming Phil felt anything for Dan. He had seen a few about how Phil looked at Dan in certain shots and they weren’t necessarily wrong.

But, it died down after a short while. Of course, people still assumed and people still theorised and spoke about their relationship or lack thereof behind closed doors but that didn’t mind Phil as much, because he couldn’t see it. When they both came out in separate Youtube videos, the rumours and theories spiked again but nothing more than a few handfuls of people assuming the initial rumours were true this whole time. They weren’t but people, again, assumed.

Phil remembers each situation being handled differently. The first, being handled with jokes and the pair of them joking along and maybe even a little baiting the situation, because they were friends and close and felt comfortable speaking up to the camera as a joke. After a while, Dan became uncomfortable due to his crisis with his sexuality and he had snapped once or twice as their audience overstepping, which was when it died down.

The post coming out rumours, were handled with a lot more ease. They knew the rumours were false, for the most part, but they had grown up a little. Not that the reactions Dan had done to the first situation were unjustified, he was a closeted gay who was scared with some intense homophobia, of course, he would react that way. But the way he went about his reaction changed, and Phil thinks that is solely because of the growth in his being and the therapy he has had all rolled into one. With every post they make together, the rumours rise to the surface a little. Not much, but enough for them to see occasionally if they look hard enough.

Phil knows that their audience will scream about this photo, because truth be told, they have no reason to be that close in the picture and that will cause them to be a little chaotic. It feels a little different now, because it is true.

The sun beating down on him, Phil closes his eyes. He was in a completely different country to his usual surroundings, covered in the sun that will in no doubt burn him to a crisp instead of tanning him like Dan seems to be rewarded with, something they will no doubt tease Phil for later. His audience knows where he is, but nobody really knows where to find him.

Athens - that's all they know.

“Here,” Dan pulls Phil out of his thought process with a nudge to his shoulder and his gentle voice. Phil looks down at Dan’s phone and inspects the Instagram post.

_Danielhowell: Athens has officially ruined my aesthetic of being pale from the lack of vitamin D. No more need for my multivitamins because I’ve had enough D for weeks._

“You surely are joking with that caption,” Phil can’t help but laugh at the hilariousness of it all. It’s typical Dan, post coming out of course, to make a sexual innuendo like this. Phil shouldn’t have expected anything

“Too much?” Dan blushes.

“No, I think it’s a perfect Dan caption,” Phil replies honestly, because that is the truth. It’s just a bit _in your face_ with a photo of Phil. He makes sure to point this out by getting into Dan's face as he mentions it. “What if you put another photo before that one, so it’s not too obvious. I look like the topic in question.”

“You are,” Dan giggles.

“Yeah,” Phil laughs harder. “But they don’t need to know that. What happened to eluding to the relationship?”

“Touche,” Dan nods, looking back at his phone and fixing the Instagram post before pushing his phone back into Phil’s personal space again for conformation.

“Perfect,” Phil smiles, before pressing _share_ for Dan.

~*~

Dan piles the suitcases and handhold luggage into the boot of the taxi and steps backwards as the taxi driver shuts the boot door behind him.

“You did that last time,” Phil says.

“Huh?” Dan frowns, and Phil has to stop himself from reaching forward to use his thumb to even out the skin.

“You didn’t let me help you put the suitcases away last night. You went all manly man on me.”

“Oh,” Dan thinks for a moment, before shrugging and smirking. “Maybe I was trying to hit on you.”

Phil doesn’t get another word in because Dan is ushering him into the back of the taxi and following him, sitting down and idly talking as the taxi driver begins driving towards the airport.

It feels like a complete parallel to when they were travelling to the airport back in London, but circumstances have changed completely. It feels _right_ this time, not like any one of them are hiding anything. Not that it felt that way a week ago, but now it just feels so clear to Phil.

They get to the airport in one piece, aside from Phil almost falling asleep in the long taxi ride, which both of them could have bet any number of money on happening because that’s just typical Phil, and they make it through security without any hiccups. They remain a little distant throughout the journey through the airport, and much to Phil’s distaste, they get separated whilst in the queues for the metal detector because a random security man had told Dan to go into a different queue as it was quicker.

It made sense but it also made Phil feel alone, even if for a brief moment. It’s not like he hasn’t got over the _doing things alone_ adult spiel because living alone in Manchester for university enabled him that ability, to do things alone without worrying all too much. Phil really thinks that his dislike of being alone really came around when he and Dan moved to London, and they began spending every waking moment together.

Of course, they still did do things separately, but as a majority, they did things together. Going food shopping, they did that together until they decided to order deliveries online instead, because it had been easier than spending three times the amount of time in the store because of bumping into people who knew them. Not that they hated meeting their audience or seeing friends, but sometimes it became a hassle.

~*~

“You can have the window seat again,” Dan speaks, as he steps backwards against the seats on the opposite side of the aisle to allow Phil to step into their row before him. Luckily, they were some of the first people on the plane otherwise those innocent people would have had their personal space invaded with how far Dan steps backwards.

Phil thinks it’s kind of sweet, the way Dan can be so accommodating in situations like this. Dan knows that Phil has some level of flight anxiety and he also knows that it’s somewhat solved when Phil sits in the window seat, able to know what is going on, which is the exact opposite for a lot of people. Phil is just like that.

The truth is, Dan knows when Phil is at his worst with his anxiety. Not on purpose, not like Dan had ever been over analysing Phil’s every move, but he just _knew_ because he had always been there. When Phil had his first actual panic attack before getting on a flight when they first went to Vidcon in Los Angeles together. Especially when Phil accepted that whilst he thought his mental health was actually okay, subpar for the average individual, he still had some things to work on for himself, and referred himself for some form of therapy.

Dan had been there through all of that, when Phil would come home from appointments singing praises of all of the things his therapist had taught him about managing his anxiety levels. Whilst it is a lot better now, definitely better from how he had been all those years ago and his therapy appointments are long gone, even when he struggles a little, Dan reminds him of those things the therapist said.

He sits down, watching as Dan shuffles behind him, pushing both of their holding luggage under their seats, exactly like he did on the flight out here. Phil just mumbles a small thank you in response, and Dan shrugs as if it isn’t necessary.

“Reckon you will actually drink the coffee they give you this time?” Dan laughs, as he settles into his seat, leaning backwards to rest his back against the soft cushioning of the plane seats.

“If you don’t steal it from me,” Phil snaps back playfully, not actually mad.

“It would have gone cold if I hadn’t have drunk it,” Dan rolls his eyes, acting put out as if he had been doing Phil a favour last week when he _stole_ Phil’s coffee from underneath his sleeping nose.

Phil pouts and sulks for a moment, watching as the feigned deadpan across Dan’s face slowly turns into a smile, one that is kind of forced out of him because of the actions Phil is doing,

Phil can’t bring himself to be nervous this time. He doesn’t want to even entertain the idea that the main reason he was nervous last week had been because of Dan being here rather than the flight itself. Whilst that isn’t strictly true, Phil does always feel nervous about flights and that wouldn’t have changed whether Dan was there or not, it did change things, he assumes.

“Are you not nervous to fly?” Dan asks, almost like he knows exactly what Phil is thinking about in his head. It’s quite iconic of them, to have this kind of telepathic relationship, where they know exactly what the other is thinking without even asking. It’s like they are in each other’s heads.

“First off, Dan, you don’t ever ask someone who is clearly doing something anxiety inducing for them if they are _anxious_ ,” Phil informs, rolling his eyes to add extra annoyance. “And I am a tiny bit, but it’s fine. I did it once, it’s highly unlikely that I will die right?”

“Right,” Dan nods in agreement, but still holds his one hand out all the same, in a silent offer for Phil to hold if he needs it. Phil never would turn out an opportunity to hold Dan’s hand, even if they are in public.

It still feels weird to do so, mainly because they _are_ in public but Phil briefly thinks back to the flight coming to Greece, and they did it then just being friends, so what’s the difference now?

_We are second in priority for take-off, we should depart in about five minutes. Please keep your seatbelts on until we’re flying. Thank you._

_Flight attendants, prepare for take off, please. Cabin crew, please take your seats for take off._

Phil turns his head to look out the window, the tactic that he knows works for his flight anxiety, so he can see exactly what is going on. The clouds pass by his window quicker than Phil can really acknowledge and pay attention to them, but he doesn’t move his gaze from outside.

He feels as Dan shuffles closer to him, preparing for Dan’s head to rest on his shoulder, an automatic assumption because that’s something he has noticed Dan does a lot recently. It never comes and instead, he feels a hand snake its way from underneath the armrest into his seat, pressing warmth into his own hand.

He turns his head for a moment, to look at Dan, who happens to have his head resting on the back of his own seat with his eyes closed. Phil smiles to himself. He tries not to, because he doesn’t want to be accused of being embarrassing or a _simp_ as Dan has called him frequently.

But Dan has his eyes closed, he doesn’t need to know.

~*~

The flight hadn’t been too bad as the first time, according to Phil’s opinion. He hated it in the sense that he had to spend it alone for the most part, because Dan stayed true to his word and fell asleep for a good portion of the plane journey. Phil didn’t realise that just under four hours could actually be _a long time_ before this flight.

He lets go of Dan’s hand at some point, already having held onto it for far longer than respectfully possible. It’s not that he thought Dan would mind waking up to a sweaty hand in his own, because Dan has had that experience far too many times to even pretend to be bothered.

He needs his hand because whilst they both had decided that this _holiday_ would have been exactly that, a holiday with no work involved. But Dan’s asleep and he doesn’t need to know that Phil will sneak an hour or two of work and admin emails in, so long as Dan stays fast asleep.

Luckily for Phil, within the last hour of their flight, Dan woke up and Phil was finished with the work he planned to do on the flight, they had a few moments idly chit chatting before Dan reaches for his phone and hands Phil one of his airpods. He leans his head back against the chair and closes his eyes, listening to the soft tunes of whatever gentle guitar playlist Dan has chosen to listen to.

_I remember standing on the edge, closing my eyes counting to three,_

_I jump in with the rush in my head, only to find the water was concrete._

_And now you’re pumping air into my lungs. This don’t feel anything like sinking,_

_In fact, no matter how deep I go into you, it looks like the water is crystal clear._

With the music, the rest of the hour blurred into no time at all, and before Phil knows it, he is walking through the front door of their apartment back in London. It almost feels like absolutely no time has passed at all, since he was last in his apartment. Like the week that he has just had, didn’t happen.

It did but Phil can’t help but feel a little weird and out of place walking into their apartment, when the last time he was here he had suppressed emotions towards his best friends

That being said, it still feels completely natural for Phil to follow Dan into _Dan’s bedroom_. Absolutely no questions asked between them when Dan lies on his own bed and pulls the duvet back a little as a silent invitation for Phil to join him.

It’s weird, Phil thinks, that they have this kind of unspoken language between them, where they don’t have to speak but instantly know what each other is thinking. Dan is probably guessing that Phil is over analysing his every move, now they are in a new territory, and Dan moving his blanket back as a small invite to Phil is the only response necessary so that Phil doesn’t think twice before settling down onto the bed.

It’s not graceful by any means, because Phil lands with a thud onto his stomach, face down into the pillow that still smells like Dan even though he hasn’t been here for a week. It feels familiar, like everything in the hotel room after an hour of being in there, all smelling like Dan and not allowing him to escape it.

“Ugh, I am so tired I could sleep for a week,” Phil grumbles into the pillow, not bothering to turn his head to look at Dan. He knows Dan is looking at him, and he doesn’t need to use his eyes to see the fond expression radiating Dan’s entire being.

“We are only one hour behind Phil,” Dan teases fondly, placing his hand on the lower part of Phil’s back, rubbing his thumb along the groove soothingly.

He hums in reply, clearly not wanting to say anything else to add to the conversation. It’s enough to just lie here, in silence, ready to sleep. He almost falls asleep but the jolting memory of Phil’s bed not being this one he is lying in, and thus lacking any memory of Dan is enough to keep him awake.

Dan must sense the sudden change in Phil’s body language because the thumb on Phil’s back stops moving, and Dan shuffles closer to him.

Phil lingers for a moment, frozen and unable to move due to the ironic warmth against his side. He could stay here, and he wants to. He doesn’t want to climb out of this incredibly comfortable bed to keep any sense of maturity and normalcy in this.

He is allowed to be a little clingy and annoying in all of this.

“One second,” Phil says quickly, jumping up and heading out of Dan’s room before he can even hear the protests from his boyfriend’s mouth. He surprises himself in how quickly he moves into the hallway of their apartment without Dan catching up with him.

Although groggy, he finds his way into his bedroom which feels very weird and different from how he left it. Maybe it’s because his idea of his bedroom has changed now, and whilst his bedroom at home hasn’t changed at all, it’s missing the very one thing that he classes as his _bedroom_ now.

As cringe as it sounds.

He walks past the suitcase that he had absentmindedly pushed into the doorway when they had arrived home a few moments ago, and steps over towards his bed, reaching for the pillow that he always relies on to sleep. He missed it for the entire time that he had been away and knows that even more now, he needs it to sleep right.

He picks it up and turns around, not even hesitating to look at the rest of his room, the room that he had called his safe space for years now. He walks his way back into Dan’s bedroom without knocking, a usual thing for him to do before the holiday started for their privacy, and stopping when he sees Dan staring back at him.

“I thought you had left,” Dan says quietly. Phil is too tired to even analyse the sadness in his voice.

“I need my pillow if I’m going to sleep in here now?” Phil says easily, as if he is reading Dan’s confused expression perfectly.

“Bold of you to assume I haven’t had enough of you already,” Dan chuckles, but makes no other claims to assume he doesn’t want Phil to sleep in his bed with him. Instead, he shuffles backwards against the head of the bed and moves one of his own pillows, throwing it to the floor in a dramatic attempt to prove his own words wrong.

Phil nods gently, before throwing his own pillow softly into the now empty space. He climbs into the bed and resumes his previous space in the bed, and Dan places the palm of his hand back onto Phil’s lower back, as if that’s the only space he could think to place it.

Phil feels shuffling around him, and he is certain he feels a light pressure in the form of a body against his side, but he doesn’t really have much time to register it because before he knows it, he is lulled to sleep in his new bed with the only person he could imagine going through the most insane week with.

He feels more movement, an arm wrapped around his waist and lips against the top of his head, before a head is placed against his shoulder blades. It’s not the most comfortable positioning in the world, but it seems very Dan and Phil.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just wanna say thank you everyone for being so patient with me as i took time out to finish this. if anyone knows me personally, you'd know that i've had a bit of a Time lately. i'm in my final year of university and it's /so/ stressful and on top of that, my mental health has been on a constant decline for months now. not to mope about my mental health, but it's been a difficult time and ive not had time or energy to write lately :[
> 
> that being said, i do start therapy tomorrow??? actually so excited and pumped. going to work really hard on getting myself the progress i deserve so i would like any good vibes n luck u have offering for me as i enter this potentially rly vulnerable time.
> 
> as for fic writing, i am not finishing this hobby by any means. i love it so much and i have no intention to stop any time soon. but i am going to pause for a while, maybe post here and there and not stick to a schedule. i have another fic that i started writing way before christmas that has a few chapters complete, i may post those at some point but my schedule isn't going to be once a week from now on, just whenever i'm free if that makes any sense :]
> 
> THAT being said (i swear this is the final time) i just want to thank you all for this journey. this fic may be my favourite thing ive ever written. i loved writing every second of it, so for that i do want to return at some point. idk when, bc as ive said, i'm so so busy but i WILL come back :] <3 thank u everyone for reading this with me, i can't thank u all enough for this lil journey and the ??? awards ??? i somehow got joint first place on an award ????? THANK u all so much for that. i can't describe how me seeing that made me feel so thank u to whoever voted for this wonderful lil fic :]
> 
> until i post again, if you want to keep up with me, i'm over on twitter as @wlwhittaker and i would love to chit chat with u all from time to time until i post again here :=] <3
> 
> ps; the lyrics comes from crystal clear by hayley williams :]


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